Betting on Sports.

Everyone has their vices. Gettin bent, gettin high, yada yada yada. In those cases true there are some positives (ie- lowered inhibitions= easier to fuck) but they do have their long term negativity.

Ever since Apple fucked me over a few weeks ago, I've been trying to figure out a get rich quick scheme. I thought the answer: betting on sports. I figure I know quite a bit about that shit and hey, to put down a little to gain a decent amount I don't have much to lose. Well...that's where Vegas gets you. The oddsmakers (the ones who decide how much a certain team is favored by and how many points will be scored between the two- more on that in a second) are really good at that shit and some bets that look easy as all hell on paper really are not. I have made countless bets that to me appeared pure genius, only for them to get fucked up...but it's not like I made a terrible bet- but you miss out by like say a point or two. The more money you put in, the more stressful it becomes. What gets a lot of people is that sure you can lose a lot but with one or two bets, you can gain whatever you lost back and then some. If I can lose weight as quickly as I've lost $600+ (which honestly I could be using for something else) then it'd be all good but it def ain't.

How it works (in case you don't know) is this. Each game has three different ways you can bet on it: a money line, point spread, or over/under. With the money line, you're taking the team to win straight up; it doesn't matter if they win by 1 or 37. For example, if in basketball Milwaukee faced Washington and they were a 11 point underdog; usually the money line will be +500 for Milwaukee; -700 for Washington. This means for every $100 you put in you win back $500 if you pick Milwaukee whereas for every $100 you put on Washington you win back $30. The point spread is a reflection of how the money line will work...the higher the point spread the bigger the money line. However some of the spreads are so big they don't warrant a money line because it's almost guaranteeing a victory for the favorite; hence not even worth making the bet/just in case somehow the underdog wins you can't make serious bank hah. The over/under is the total amount of goals, runs or points the two combined teams will combine for. For example, in baseball the Mets and Braves o/u is 8.5. If you pick the under, they have to combine for 8 or less runs; the over then 9 or more runs.

Now, if you push (which means tie)- you get your money back if it's a straight wager; if it's a parlay (I'll explain that in a sec) then it gets bumped down to the next highest paying one.

What's usually taken into account when making the odds: a whole lot of crap. For example, in baseball it can be the pitching matchups, how good the teams are, their offenses, recent history vs each other, and so on. These fuckers have it broken down to a science that can frustrate the ever living shit out of you and sometimes make you overthink...although you definetly cannot just hop on a bet. I'll show you some examples of which.

Now a straight wager is straightforward. You win, you get paid, you lose you lose the guap. In a point spread situation, if you pick a team that's favored by 5 (-5) and as long as they win by more than 5, then you're good. If you pick a 13 point underdog (+13), as long as they don't lose by more than 13, it's all good. On some sites, you can even "buy points" which fluctuates the point spread more in your favor; the drawback to that is since you're doing so the money you win back will be less. So for example if you see a team who's favored by 6.5 (-6.5; -110). You can buy that half point just in case you're scared they'll only win by 6 or so (-6; -120). You won't win as much (ie- if you put $100 on the -6.5 you'd win back $90; but on the -6 you'd only win back $85) but especially when it's half-points, it's definetly worth the risk of at least pushing.

Parlays are a pain in the ass. That's when you pick on a collection of games (at least 2; up to 10 or 12 games depending on what website). Now, you can win more money by putting down less; however ALL of your games must hit, if you even lose one bet then your whole bet fails. This is where Vegas gets you the most; and this is the stem of my frustration. The money odds are great (ie- if you do a 5 team parlay and hit it, the payout is like 25-1) but usually you'll wind up gettin pissed bc one team failed for you. Lemme show you an example of two parlays I fucked up on:

Parlay / C9F3F... 2008-03-28 11:46 $5.00 $462.12 $0.00 Loss
NCAA Basketball/G- (Stanford vs. Texas) Texas Point Spread -1.5 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:30 Win
NCAA Basketball/G- Stanford vs. Texas Over 134 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:30 Win
NBA/G- Chicago @ Atlanta Over 207 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:40 Win
NBA/G- New Jersey @ Indiana Over 216 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:10 Win
NCAA Basketball/G- (Davidson vs. Wisconsin) Wisconsin Point Spread -4.5 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:15 Loss
NCAA Basketball/G- Davidson vs. Wisconsin Over 126.5 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:15 Win
NCAA Basketball/G- Michigan St-Memphis Over 135 (-110) 2008-03-28 22:05 Win

Parlay / 5D71D... 2008-03-28 16:41 $11.00 $532.54 $0.00 Loss
NCAA Basketball/1H- Stanford vs. Texas Over 62 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:30 Win
NCAA Basketball/1H- Davidson vs. Wisconsin Over 59 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:15 Win
NBA/1H- New Jersey @ Indiana Over 104.5 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:10 Win
NBA/1H- Orlando @ Milwaukee Over 105 (-110) 2008-03-28 20:40 Loss
NBA/1H- Chicago @ Atlanta Over 103 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:40 Pushed
NBA/1H- New Orleans @ Boston Over 98 (-110) 2008-03-28 19:40 Win

Notice the first was a 7 team parlay (about 85-1 odds) and the 2nd was a 6 team parlay (around 45-1 odds). Even with only putting in $5 or $11 with the odds being as significant as they were it doesn't hurt to try. Notice I hit 6 of the games in the first one; unfortunately Wisconsin didn't cover (they lost) so it ruined everything. In the 2nd one I hit 4, tied on one (which is why it became a 5-teamer) and lost the other (by 3 points ultimately). You say to yourself "Fuck, I should've just done the other games straight up." I have hit parlays before though, and it's a great feeling when you do. However, the gambling gods have a way of fuckin with your head. The more money I seem to put in or more teams I put in the worse I do. Or it'll work out like if you'll always miss one game irregardless of your geniusness. Yet, I've had situations in which I put $5 on a two-team parlay (13-5 odds) or three-team (6-1) and win a whopping $13 or $30. It angers me.

Is it hard to stop? It definetly is. Although I have began to control myself more so now that I'm getting my job back and realizing (too late) that I'm just wasting my money on bullshit...there's no doubt that I'd keep on placing that bet and hoping, just hoping that that one big business bet hits...and just like that my losses are erased.

And so on.