Karaoke Night.

Every Thursday night live @ Nevada Smiths this phenomenon occurs; usually starting at 11pm unless there's a big game on at the time (i.e National Championship game; playoff games, March Madness). Personally I go there and get plastered out of my mind and wake up the next day feelin like shit...but not this one- I was originally plannin on goin to kickboxing class in the morning (but I was tired as fuck so I'm just gonna go to the evening class tonight and probably not go twice on Fridays until further notice). But I wasn't in a drinkin mood anyway and drove in.

Myself and my boy practiced for our epic Beer Pong tourney on Saturday @ Porky's ($30 for entry and Open Bar 3-8pm; can't beat that even in Hoboken). He beat me 2-0 this time (similar to the score I beat him two weeks prior) but the game went by a lot quicker. I definitely like our chances, especially with me being an unorthodox shooter. Afterwards, went to Nevadas and got myself a pint of Magners' Hard Cider (pause). Pretty good shit I tell you. Somethin about singin Karaoke sober: you feel competent- you're not as hyper but you feel like you're alive, instead of being this wild child.

Apparently I like to rile up the crowd. After one of my boys sang "No Woman No Cry" (very good song choice), I decided to get up and say: "No Woman No Cry is right. Why? No Woman, No Stress having to pay for everything shit look at me. How much you spend is how much pussy you're gonna get. No Money No Pussy." That got the crowd to die laughing for some reason; the girls were just like "Dear God" (but they know deep down inside the recesses of their soul that young DK is 100% correct).

Then you learn a few lessons in life:

1) Being on the mic constantly as a "hype-man" makes people think you work there.
2) These 2 random white kids begged me to sing a Jay-Z song with them. "Change Clothes". Aka, they wanted me to sing it while they reverse oreo'd my ass by flankin inbetween me. Jesus.
3) I bought this girl a beer. Unfortunately it backfired on me because she wound up hookin up with some dude who she was with. Whoops. But should it have been expected? She was from Jersey, young, stupid and naive, and wasted. Then she wanted me to sing for her. Fuck that ha. Oh well, the beer was $3.
4) Her friend kept puttin up the ROC sign. Are you fuckin jokin? Dear God she was plastered- I felt like I was in Seaside Heights or some shit for a good half-hour with these young'uns rummaging around. Then she wanted me to do a duet with her. "Stronger" by Kanye West. "THE ROCCCCCC".
5) These three girls (very nice by the way, albeit 2 of em were initially shy) me and my boy get to talkin to em- and I get humored as hell because when you mention shit such as "kickboxing" and "designated driver" all of a sudden you're viewed as "omg that's so cool, that's really nice" Well yes, I'm not tryin to get pulled over like I seen these 3 dudes do as soon as I got out of the bar. Usually I would have been more agressive and went for the number, but apparently they will be back again. I actually take their word for it, since one of them is infatuated with one of the bartenders here.
6) How retarded can one person be? It's not even midnight, and yet you're gonna attempt to steal someone's purse (actually he did steal it)...but yet you're gonna stick around the bar. Wow, what a jackass. Undercover cops came in and arrested the dude who did it; you can't be that arrogant. I mean, it's one thing if perhaps a cell phone was on the floor, you turned it off had it in ur pocket and then whatever...but a full purse? Sheesh.

That's all folks. And so on.