Friday, February 20, 2009

The Friday Morning Hangover.

You would think my ass would be knocked out right now. Well, that's a negative. For some odd reason I'm up now, even though I went to bed sometime around 445 this morning. It's weird- when I have some kind of sickness I sleep less because I worry so much about gettin myself back to full strength. Yesterday was an entertaining evening as always...Thursdays > Saturdays > Fridays.

1) I hit up the Duke-St. John's game at the Garden last night expectin a bloodbath. However, the young Red Storm somehow stayed in the game...primarily because Duke was sleepwalkin through it. I understand, the Red Storm are 12-14 and certainly not in the same class...but if they were even 10% more efficent (on fast breaks they were mediocre to poor), you woulda had an upset in your hands. A few things that had nothin to do with the game:
- As everyone is entering through the gates to go inside...tell me why I'm the ONLY person to get stopped so I could be "randomly searched and screened"??? Was it because my Phat Farm jacket was menacing? Was it because I was the only black person in that 50 foot radius. One only knows. I turned to my boy however and just shake my head and say "Expected." What am I gonna do, go stab someone for better seats? Nah a St. John's game ain't that serious.
- It did NOT have a feel of a college game at all. I'd have to say a good portion of the crowd were Duke supporters (alumni, bandwagoners, etc.) and even in the "Student sections" there were some blue shirts scattered around. What a joke. The student section was arguably the weakest one I've ever seen live or on TV. The only time they got really into it was I guess with 3 or so minutes left?
- Who has a mixed drink at a game? I mean yeah, you're dressed all nice in your business suit but are you serious right now? You mind as well conduct some business while your at it. I figured these ppl are intelligent though- they sat in the same 300s section as I did but they wanted to have extra spending money to look all lavish. Oh the recession.

2) Me and my boy hit up this spot Wicked Willy's next. We're most likely gonna hit up a Beer Pong Tourney on March 7th @ Porky's ($30/person entry- open bar 3-8pm) so we decided since it's not a smart idea to hit up THE bar (Nevada Smiths) no earlier than 1130pm and there was time to kill...why the hell not? In a closer than expected contest I emerged victorious 2-0. They have their own Karaoke set which has its pluses and minuses.
- Pluses: More recent songs/more variety; Free Drink for every song you sing.
- Minuses: Less involved crowd; The Karaoke guy actually takes breaks. You gotta be kidding me.
I decided to sing A Millie by that Weezy fella. Lemme tell ya- to try and do that voice of his is a challenge on a throat dear God. CHOPPA HA HA HA HA HA! The shot girl didn't remember really who I was. So expected. Fuck.

3) Nevada Smiths was your average Thursday night of debauchery. I did two songs: Pimpin All Over the World and Jump Around. My wit was somewhat off on the mic probably because a) I was in a much better mood than last Thursday. b) I was startin to lose my voice. c) The crowd was young, naive and stupid. But I learned a lot from last night.

4) These friggin lessons:
a) No dude should try to attempt to small talk with another dude that they don't know unless it's concerning a chick or a sports game that is on at that present moment. And even that to me is odd. How you gonna see me sittin there chillin (I just got to Nevadas 5 min ago) and just lean over to me to ask me if I'm singin tonight? The fuck you care for?
b) I was chillin with my homegirl with my arm wrapped around her (yeah we're cool like that) and some random black dude is just starin a hole through me and her. I have no fuckin clue why but I'm not the type to just stare back because most of the time that's just askin for unnecessary trouble. I guess though it lit a fire in him because when these group of white girls came in- about 20 min later he was beginnin his Holla Spree. YES I CAN! I mean, I didn't know I had that motivating power in me. About an hour or so later for NO reason whatsoever he comes up to me, "Please, please- do ur thing lemme do mine i don't know you u don't know me lissen lissen these white chicks u kno its easy, please im tellin u man get at em seal the deal I ain't tryin to start shit ya dig" I never had been that confused in my life because I wasn't able to interject. My only rationale for why he did this was because he figured I was tryin to kill his Game? Dude it was about 6-7 of em versus basically you because 2 of your homeboys are questionable anyhow. Plus that whole aggressive black dude go for the kill does NOT work on most of these city chicks anyway. For God sakes.
c) Not from last night but was just an epiphany. Dudes don't do any of those :-) type faces towards each other. Please don't.

4) Exchange of the evening:
(Aggressive dude goin after the bitchy girl of the group...what a match)
Me: Friggin dude makin my people look bad dear God.
Chick: Haha, my friend makes MY people look bad being all bitchy.
Me: This is all the more stunning because you're from "Staaaten Oyyland" and actually act normal.
Chick: To be honest I don't even like hangin out with her.

5) Hackin up solid green phlegm is hella disgusting but I know when I do that only good things can come of it because that means you're about to be cured.

6) I don't think people on Facebook give 2 shits that you're lovin somebody as being your status. If anything that's givin them free advertisin and I bet that people of whichever opposite sex are gonna go see what he/she is about. Then they'll probably holla outta spite.

7) Can someone explain to me what would possess someone to text you TWENTY-FOUR HOURS after you initially texted them?

8) I have meant to discuss this for a while but I will do so and briefly. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce really makes no sense. You are tryin to tell me in the chorus that if I liked her I should put a ring on it??? I mean not everyone can be like Biggie and get married to a chick in 2-3 weeks. A chasity ring?? So if I like a chick at a club I need to have a ring handy? Well I'll tell you this, those cubed ice cubes they put in drinks if the hole melts well enough that will be ur only ring. You gotta be fuckin out your mind. Also, Lions and Tigers and Bears??? So you're not scared of those animals but you're scared of some other shit? Well I wouldn't expect you to be scared of those animals- unless you go to the Serengeti or some shit you're only gonna see em caged or holed-up in a zoo. But what made you think of Lions, Tigers and Bears? Dear God.

And so on.

2 comments:

BoyGenius said...

it's seriously sad when the staten island dump is your pride and joy

ERIC said...

you're the angriest, cool black guy i know.