February 14th.

Well well well, I'm bloggin on Friday the 13th but I prefer to talk about tomorrow; which happens on the calendar to be the day I posted above. It's a Saturday this go-around, so this means another day to get shitfaced. Tru stories.

My plans? Simple, I'm gonna celebrate the fact that my Mets are gonna have their pitchers and catchers report to training camp; then watch the H-O-R-S-E competition and the NBA All-Star Saturday Night festivities which are always entertaining; followed by probably going to some apartment party. An average day indeed.

Then you got the Hallmark mothafuckas who try to bait you into believing that February 14th is something more special than that; like it's a day you're supposed to profess love or make you jealous of people who are in love or some other convoluted bullshit that they brainwash into your head like the Chinese do to 3 year old kids and turn them into athletic puppets. The pathetic part about all of this is just like with Christmas presents...people's expectations and all that. Like the more you spend the higher probability of you gettin pussy. Dear God. I have learned over the years that in order to get pussy you have to pay for it. It doesn't matter how; I buy her 2 drinks she's now an well-oiled machine, I buy diamonds her eyes get oogly so she gets romantic which leads to heat, I buy dinner which if you mix it with wine makes her feel like you're romantic- same fuckin concept. Let me tell you somethin:

You expect that on February 14th that it has more of a special meaning because? Ask yourself that question. Unless you happen to have began a relationship on this day it doesn't mean SHIT. Eradicate that from your fuckin memory bank. If you don't get what you want on the 14th so fuckin what? So if I go take you out to eat on the 15th or buy a box of chocolates at 50% off on the 15th that makes me less of a person and that I don't have love for you? Please. Every day that you're together with someone should be special, take it for what it's worth for Christ sakes. Ha I don't even really know what a long-term relationship is like so I always act like everything's peachy anyhow. When it's not; as I learned once when things become monotone. But anyways. How about showin some unpredictability; buy 1-800 Flowers on March 13th, go to that waterfront grill on April 8th. You idiots have turned February 14th into a day of forced activities and fuckin more prostitution. Every kiss begins with Kay get the fuck outta here. Every kiss begins when my wallet gets emptied, ya dig? It's just the way it is and hey I'm not gonna go and act like I'm gonna lock my money up in a CD account and expect shit to be free. Then it'll be too easy. But come the fuck on. You get a Build-A-Bear so you're satisfied, I get a card and a chocolate rose and some dinner- hence I'm satisfied. Good. But to me it's not as special when it's forced.

Example (I mentioned it before a WHILE back but it's pertinent to today): Idiot buys his girlfriend at the time a pink iPod nano. It was $199 at the time and he even got it engraved for her tellin her how much he loved her. How cute. Fuckin idiot. She comes in the store around May or June I don't remember and tells me she loves the iPod but needs to scratch off the message ha- because she broke up with that boring mothafucka. I scratch that shit off, she's happy about that and I shoulda picked her up but that's neither here nor there since I was workin. Now that's a waste of money if I EVER seen one from a relationship that didn't even last 6 months.

Here's my best February 14th story: I had decided that day to not go to class and go with my best girl friend at the time (Chelsea- I fuckin miss that girl) to BBQs to grab some happy hour daquiris in the rain. 2 of them 20 ounce shits will get ur ass fucked up so after drinkin those and chattin shootin the shit we went out in the rain to buy some random shit for her "friend" (in reality her girlfriend honestly I don't know why she tried to play it off but it was what it was). We would kiss a few times and she bought her and her "friend" dinner at Outback Steakhouse to go. It wasn't so much I love you more that it was fun company. Ya dig? And when you just go with the flow of things it makes life that much easier. I miss Chelsea ha. Like an idiot though I decided to workout drunk. NIGHTMARES the next morning. I was sick as a dog.

If you think I'm bitter, so be it. But don't try to advocate February 14th as more than what it is because you really don't get it. If you don't get it now, you never will. If you try to use this as a gague to test your love for someone you will lose. Every. Single (no pun intended). Time.

And so on.