Monday, February 2, 2009

Suburbia's Greatest Rappers Alive.

During the one day in which I was officially employed at that farce of a marketing job, they had A Millie by Lil' Wayne on in the office. I used to actually like the Weezy F. Baby please say the motherfuckin baby back in 06 with his Dedication 2 mixtape (more on him in a moment tho) but now that he's on everything he was successfully able to make me sick of him. I mention "Dear God I hate this dude." One of the girls there tho (white girl) then goes "Oh my God I loveee Lil' Wayne." Expected. So this gave me an idea: The Greatest Rappers Alive for Surburbia.

1) Lil' Wayne- With Cash Money, he was pretty good but never really made you go "ohh shit he's dope". He was always overshadowed IMO by Juvenille and BG. Honestly I never heard much about him when he went solo. Then my boy put me on to his Dedication 2 mixtape in the summer of 2006 because he was ADDICTED to it. It was a sick mixtape and I actually went and bought it myself. Then he started gettin more commercial airplay- which at the time I felt was deserved. Next thing you know though, he's on every single flippin remix- who are you now Puffy?? Half of his songs he's mutterin or soundin like Dylan (Chappelle Show version). He bit off of Juelz Santana's flow (Juelz is a rapper who is STILL overlooked but that's an entirely different story) and now he wants to come out with a rock album???? And now he claims he's the best rapper alive. Yeah, you're the best drugged up 24/7/365 throat-clearin nonsensical rapper alive. Ah-heh-heh-heh-heh-ummmmmm.

2) Akon- He is absolute trash. I digged his first single "Locked Up" back in 2005. Yeah I did. But he's up here because for him to even be considered as good just has me on the floor. People love him for being a "convict, convict". Dear God. He threw a kid off a stage- that was hilarious though- and that's supposed to give him a "he's cool, man" card? Gimme a break.

3) T-Pain- "The King of the Autotune" fuck outta here. I'll give credit where it's due he's GREAT...for the clubs and ringtones ONLY. His songs can be very catchy. But how he's further continued to destroy the rap game with now everyone (including Suburbia's Thugnificent Weezy) goin on that Autotune nonsense is repulsive. The white girls love him for him being able to do the "arms up in the air wahoo" dance.

4) 50 Cent- How could I leave the King out. I remember back in the summer of 2003 while working at Sid's Pants as 50 had successfully blown up into a commercial superstar all those God-forsaken LI wiggers comin into my store to buy G-Unit gear because they thought it was the shit. The G-Unit mixtapes they came out with prior to all of this were SICK. You ask most of these people however what was 50's first single though and they'll say "In Da Club". Incorrect- young 50's first single was "How to Rob" wayyy back when, in 1998 I believe. But that's neither here nor there also. Suburbia SWEARS (probably to the bible) by his hoodness and it transfers to him. None of their iTunes are missin him, I am almost certain of this.

And so on.