Mid-Week Yap Yap.

I've had the itis.

1) Last weekend was pretty entertaining for me. Thursday night was game 1 of the Celtics-Lakers series and though it was a good game where both teams played hard; I couldn't really get into it like that. I will admit though, that KG putback dunk was crazy and made Nevadas (predominately rooting for the C's) go wild. Celtics win and usually after that a lot of people leave after the game is over but it was an exception this time, as Karaoke popped off. I guess there were a lot of happy bandwagoners, I mean, people. My homegirl from UF came on through so of course as I initiate them- they sip on the DKool-Aid. Reason why I found Thurs night so entertaining was because I sang some song (Pimpin All Over the World) and then suddenly some chick is all over me. I don't know who she is, don't even remember who she is (I doubt I got her name)...and though she was with some guy (and yeah she went back with him)...I was unintentionally stickin it to him. I have her number stored on my phone as "Some Chick I met on 6/6". I haven't hit her back up although it is a 248 (Michigan) area code which means Michigan viva la white girls have jungle fever. Apparently she goes "You'll be here next week? Me too." I don't believe that for a second but I miiiight call her on that. Friday night was a throwback night of some sorts- I went to Cheap Shots and I wound up meetin up with a few dudes I remember from HS. I was somewhat twisted and I knew they were gone- it felt like a family reunion hah...it seems like when I make guest appearances they are a huge effin deal "OHH SHITTT, IT'S J-ROLL!!" For those that don't know, J-Roll was my nickname in HS (I care not to explain it right now hah). It was excitin tho I hadn't seen most of these dudes since Prep and if there's one thing I love about Prep is that everybody remembers each other even though we had a graduating class of oh around 650.

1a) This leads to some theory I made up called "Call Don't Lie". Similar to my Text Test- I rarely make a call out to someone unless it's worth it and the clickin was pretty good. Though girls love textin; they don't mind a phone call either you just have to time it proper and it might get shit out the way quicker. Well- yall exchanged numbers so 99% of the time the dude has to be the initiator. She picks up- at least she's intrigued by who's callin. She doesn't pick up- she might be shy or remembers in a sober state "Thank god I am not the next Knocked Up". Call Don't Lie! I delayed too much with this one I already know that (she saved my number on her phone as Jaypsn Jayz so obviously she was drunk/can't spell) so that could be bad. My bartender Lauren told me it was a good idea NOT to holla, but I am DK.

2) So I read on the news yesterday that 1 outta every 4 New Yorkers has Herpes. This is DK's breakdown:

1) Long Island you figure it's 7 out of 8. LI is the STD capital of the nation.
2) The Hood you got seagulls/vultures who want great sex without the latex but risk gettin the late text and the hoodrats who bounce around too. So probably 3 out of 4 there.
3) Upstate there's nothin to do but smoke, drink and bone. But it's less populated so they confine to themselves. So 1 in 10 there.
4) The Myspace to Myplace crowd: If you're hollerin online you never know what to expect so that's Russian Roulette.

So 1 out of 4 sounds accurate.

3) July 11th ladies and gentlemen...the new iPhone 3G comes out. I ain't even gonna lie- it sounds dope (go on the damn apple website and check it out yourself) but I ain't gonna switch to AT&T first off...and secondly unless I get the phone for free I'm just gonna wait and get a Blackberry anyway with my Verizon Broadband. It's entertainin with people already comin in askin if it's here or not, if they can pre-order, if they can have me hold one for them. No, No and NO you fiendin ass muhfuckas. The 5-iphone crew/dynasty (dependin on if they're Indian or Chinese) will be saddened to know that you MUST activate the phone with AT&T now in the store HAHAHAHA how bout them apples (no pun intended at all). Oh yeah, and the phone is $199 and $299 respectively for the 8 and 16 "Jiggas". 7-11 is gonna be one helluva interesting day I tell you that much.

4) Workin on the Island and seeing what R.Kelly is going through makes me think of something off the bat- the R.Kelly Complex. Though I don't in any way condone what Kells did...I can see where he's comin from. You see how fuckin grown these under-17 chicks look now...and especially how they dress? It's gotta be a byproduct of their parents being strict at home and because of so, they go to their friends' house I'm sure, dress in pretty much nothin, Myspace themselves in person and then hit up the mall so people like me can look and go dayyyyam. Fuck it though some of the parents let them go out like that too. I could never. These broads look like they're in college or at the very least about to be...but half of them haven't even had their My Super Sweet 16 yet. And it's the ones who are actually in college that look younger believe it or not. It's very deceptive. I don't think these girls care tho because they are from LI and prob do want to fuck anyway but they are afraid of what daddy would think if she went to the Chocolate Shop without permission. Oh, and in Kells case- leave the videotapes at home next time. No one cares about PG-13 Sex Planet my man.

5) Being a Mets fan is becoming increasingly frustrating. Good 2 out of 3 set in SF where I totally understood the first loss (because goin from NY-SF right after a night game you're not gonna be focused)...but being swept 4 in a row by a depleted Padres team and losing 2-1 three consecutive times??? Our pitching gives us a chance to win yet suddenly we can't hit. Then...we decide to hit in the last game and then...yes...the bullshitpen returns and we lose 8-6. No comment about last night either where we jump out to a 5-1 lead and then Arizona roars back to win. And great, Brandon Webb pitches against Pelfrey tonight. Chalk that one up to Zona EASY.

6) Celtics-Lakers I had Lakers in 6 before and I am still gonna stick to it.

7) The fuck is this supposed to mean? "You were a great candidate for the position but you didn't fit our needs at this time?" Well, I must've done somethin right just to get an opportunity to be interviewed so DUH I had to be a great candidate. But at this time I don't fit? Am I a round peg (yes I am a bit rotund but come on) that can't fit in a square hole, you need a square right now and in 6 months you want a round one? I love how nice they make it out to be that you don't get a certain position. Though- I'll give them credit in that they were people of their word and did promise to get back to me.

And so on.