Early New Year's Resolutions.

Yeah it had been hella long since I had a dope as fuck weekend as I did this past weekend. It made me appreciate the little things that had been missing from my life the past few months.

- I'm blessed to be friends with the people who I am with.
- People who want to fade from your life- let them be and fade out yourself because it's not worth worrying about them when they're not worrying about you.
- You can't dwell on decisions others have made to make themselves happy. At the end of the day the most important person is yourself. If something wasn't meant to be- it's likely for the best...it's like poppin a chick in the ass before puttin the lube on her if you try to force shit.

With that in mind, I'm so looking forward to this piece of shit year to end that I'm already lookin forward to what changes I like to make in 2009:

1) More selfish: I need to realize that yes it's cool to put others before yourself...it's not worth doin so to people who don't deserve that. Far too often I've tried so hard to make other ppl happy that I wind up disappointing myself...probably a reason why I have such high standards for myself and get upset when I feel like I haven't lived up to them to someone. So in 2009 I am gonna still be me...but only going out of my way for people when I know there's a mutual benefit involved.

2) Running in a half-marathon in May or June; doing the NYC Marathon in November: Yeah the latter is a stretch...but I can feasibly get myself to do the former. I've been doing a lot of 5Ks in the past few months and I have ran/jogged 5 miles consistently for the past few weeks now. I can easily get myself to the 10 mile mark by March if I continue to dedicate myself and who knows from there. It's more of a self-esteem booster for me.

3) Significantly cutting back on my drinking: I've already done this, but I am gonna have to continue this trend. My excessive drinking I had came to learn was getting me absolutely nowhere...as I would have to be trashed in order to make myself believe I was havin a good time. I was simply in denial however- allowing the little things to bother the fuck out of me. I got to the point where I would literally live for Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights because I know then I could go to the bar and pound hella drinks. I don't need to do that anymore...just a couple drinks here and there with good company is more than enough.

4) Finding a job by February: I just finished an internship over at PRISM...which is a sports sponsorship company; and gained some invaluable experience in that realm. I'm actually stepping out of my introverted realm and have been networking ever so slowly with people to hopefully get myself working full-time in a month or so. That would be huge.

5) More outgoing: I've always been the shy type and I don't think that's gonna change now after 23 years. However, I need to continue going to different places meeting new people (chicks) and not worry about goin too hard. Plus hopefully with this change of attitude comes a change in self-confidence, which has been fairly low up to this point.

I don't talk about tryin to lose hella weight blah blah because that shouldn't just be for the year...that should be for life- trying to lose it and not only get back to my summer 2006 level but even better than that. Sure it can impress others but the one person I must impress, the one person that carries himself around is myself.

What a difference one weekend can have on an entire outlook. I coulda sworn I was depressed...when in fact it's just a matter of getting up from your ass and getting back to what you had been doing and just do you.

Good riddance 2008.

And so on.