Sunday Night Rah-Rah: DK's Wrath.

Shut up.

1) So I go to Jersey this past Thursday and hit up a TKE party (that was the fraternity I joined in college in case you didn't know). I don't think I've ever partied in Jersey before so this was some new shit to me. Man, Viva La White Girl is all I had to say about that sheeit. I felt like I was on Long Island or some shit except I actually have respect for Jersey, etc. How I was able to get 2 numbers by puttin in absolutely no work at all is still besides me shit. It def was a change of pace for me just chillin in the city; didn't get too crunked/couldn't ya kno but I think...I like Jersey girls. Not as much as CT girls, however; they're my standard-bearer...for now.

2) Speakin of the ladies...this is my dumb as rocks section right here. I mean, this weekend was dedicated to workin out on LI AND being in Jersey, so this was primetime for that shit. Lemme break it down:
- These 2 blonde chicks think I'm God's gift to man once I say I'm from NYC. One tells me to take her number down. They musta been drunk as fuck bc that just doesn't happen to me like that hah. Should I call/txt her? Nahhh.
- These other chicks who were on some more chill shit, one of them I got her number basically bc I said I was a Mets fan. Hah, I love baseball season. I ain't really talk to them like that at the party bc I was makin my rounds (as were they, you gotta do you) and she failed my Text Test (more on that in a minute) so now I don't know.
- These 2 chicks at the LI Marathon comin at me and my co-workers about skydiving and when I told one of them you should jump with me she was like heh heh hehe I can barely drop myself how would I be able to drop both you and me. What???

3) Quote of the Weekend: There's 2 of em. One pissed me off when I thought about it and the other one...well is another one.
a) Your face looks swollen now son. FUCK thanks for tellin me I look horrible. But I won't throw up on purpose in the toilet don't worry this isn't The Biggest Loser...yet.
b) Iced coffee! Get it while it's hot! Nuff said hah.

4) DK's Text Test: When I get a chick's number, I feel like if I hit her up the next day then that's desperation. Thus, I wait until 2 days after to hit her up via text. Like they said in the Boondocks, "Bitches love textin." Hence, if she responds that means she's gotta be somewhat interested. If not, mayyyybe a phone call. But who does that anymore hah?

5) NBA Round 1 Playoff Grades:
-Celtics-Hawks: B- (good games down in Atlanta, but ridiculously one-sided in Boston)
-Pistons-76ers: C+ (surprisingly good series to start considering the ridiculous disparity of playoff experience between the 2 clubs...series was over tho in the 2nd half of game 4 when it was decided both teams would play hard instead of only one).
-Magic-Raptors: C- (the Magic were never really threatened in the series; game 3 loss was expected).
-Lebrons-Wizards: B- (not a bad series, more focused on the extracurriculars than on the actual games themselves, physical series tho).
-Lakers-Nuggets: F (obviously).
-Hornets-Mavericks: D (series never seemed to be in doubt).
-Spurs-Suns: C (instant classic in game 1; close games in 2 and 5 but Suns don't know how to execute down the stretch...inbetween, 2 ugly games in Phoenix).
-Rockets-Jazz: B (best series because aside from game 5 and the 3rd quarter of game 3 all games were hard fought both teams played hard).

-overall: C+/C

Predictions of the Semifinal Matchups: Celtics in 6, Pistons in 6 (but I wouldn't be surprised at all if it's a sweep after last night), Lakers in 7, Spurs in 6.

6) Youtube Video of the Week: Latrell Sprewell tellin it how it is. I miss this mothafucka hah.

7) I worked the Long Island Marathon. Hella hours and hella energy drinks (no NOT Red Bull; some shit called Awake Energy which is "100% juice + energy"...yet somehow their light is "30% juice + energy". Great. It was cool tho I like dealin with people who are actually nice (I'll give it to LI'ers...they're nice people...as long as they are gettin what they want, but aren't we all?)

7a) Oxymoron of the Week: McDonald's being one of the sponsors of the event. They had the audacity to talk about their premieum salads being a healthy alternative and comparing their foods "favorably" to other popular foods. I'll give you 3 examples, I actually have the fact sheets at home but I don't have a scanner. Anyways, here goes nothin:

- McDonalds Hamburger (260 cals, 9g fat) vs. 2 slices of Pizza (400/19), Hot Dog on a bun with mustard (270/16), a cup of Spaghetti with Meatballs (270/13).
- Big Mac (560 calories, 25g protein, 30g fat, 47g carbs, 1010mg sodium) vs. a cup of Tuna Salad on a Medium Croissant (610/38/31/45/1250); 8 Nachos with cheese, beef, beans, and peppers (570/20/31/56/1820); 6-inch Subway Italian BMT sandwich (with 1 tablespoon each of mayo and olive oil blend) (605/23/38/47/1870)
- Caesar Salad w/Grilled Chicken (with Butter Garlic Croutons & Creamy Caesar Dressing) (470/34/26/26/1540) vs. Chef's Salad (iceberg lettuce, 2oz diced ham, 1oz shredded cheddar cheese, 2 tsbp chopped egg, 2 tsbp bacon bits, 4 tbsp french dressing) (640/32/51/14/1080); Oriental Salad (romaine lettuce, mandarin oranges, 3oz chicken breast, 1/3 cup chow mein noodles, 4 tsbp oriental sesame dressing) (540/32/36/26/750); Taco Bell Fiesta Salad (870/31/47/80/1780).

Ok. You basically choose THE worst foods from competitors...or concocted foods that no one would really eat. I don't think anyone wants to mix mayo with olive oil that's just nasty soundin...NO ONE in their right mind (I would hope) would even eat at Taco Bell hah...and at the end of the day are you tryin to tell us that "at least with our food you won't die as fast?" Please.

8) Mets week in review: I didn't really pay attention this week; I mean taking 2 of 3 from the majors' current best (Arizona- on their field where we've owned them since God knows when...16-2 now in our last 18 games there) is always good...especially after gettin our asses kicked 13-1 by fucking Pittsburgh of all teams in the getaway game.

9) Last but not least, my Apple Store man...people tryin to come in to buy 5 of them iPhones(what else is new)...and I mean I know what they're tryin to do. The schemes/things they say are incredible at times...

a) "These are for gift"
b) "This is for my friend"
c) "I want to send to another country"
d) The fake "Only AT&T??? Ok...gimme 5"
e) One person had the audacity to ask me straight up, "Why are they so expensive what about wholesalers who try to sell the phone, I'm a wholesaler."

Fuckin idiots. I mean, I feel bad for people who actually USE the damn phone for what it's supposed to be and then can't get it because the 5 iPhone Crew comes in to ruin the day. But business is buisness man and they pay so there's not much of anything you can do about it.

And so on.