Lawdamercy.

I don't understand a few things.

1) What is with u retards that get rowdy off of Sweet Caroline, Lose Your Love Tonight, Ain't No Mountain Higher and Livin' on a Prayer. You wanna know my take?
- Caroline was most likely a bitch.
- Lose Your Love Tonight is a sorry phrase for I don't wanna fuck up my chances of fuckin you tonight.
- You have to drive 2 hours to the Poconos for mountains.
- If you're livin on a prayer then you're barely gettin by and you better step ur game up.

Conversely when people actually sings truly danceable songs such as Pimpin All Over the World, you retards look like deer starin at headlights. Yes because it requires hip movement. Which you don't have. I answered my own question.

2) Why are you wearing a scarf when it's 50 degrees outside and only wearing a t-shirt? It's not a fashion statement it's a disgrace. No one can argue this with me.

3) I think we are ______ close to havin dudes wear spandex outdoors.

4) Webster Hall rejects attract Webster Hall rejects. Some chick I wanted to holla at winds up on some reject and within a minute they were makin out. Her fat friend with teeth that should be boarded up like a house before a hurricane won the award for cockblocker of the evening.

5) If I ever see a group of guys do Spice Girls ever again I'm bringin back lynching. But it'll be the Affirmative Action remix.

6) I will say though it was very refreshing not to see that many LI retards on the trains last night. That's right stay at home and repent.

Now stuff I understand:

7) I love the new Mets' bullpen. I'm pretty excited to check out Citifield on Wednesday also.

8) A return trip to Hoboken will take place probably the first weekend of May.

9) I had an interview for the ages yesterday with the New York Red Bull. In all seriousness, out of all the interviews I've been on in the past couple years or so...I had never felt so comfortable with an interview as I did yesterday. The guy was straightforward and accomodating and that's rare to see. Even though it'd be a 6 month program...6 months of gettin paid is better than 0 months paid ya dig?

10) Be on the lookout for my new spinoff website which will be created over the course of the weekend. We'll even let yall get a chance to submit your stories on there and if you wanna be a columnist on it, holla at me.

And so on.