Tuesday Morning Rah-Rah.

It was a long weekend so yeah, that's why my rah-rah is 2 days later than usual. Don't like it, suck it.

1) The way things are goin right now they seem like they are going in reverse. Almost all of my peepz are in relationships right now hah meanwhile I am not...in which to some extent I don't give a shit but at the same time I ask myself...the fuck? One thing I absolutely cannot stand is when someone goes to you and says "You'd make for such a great boyfriend." Um, so then why aren't we gettin it on and poppin? "You're a good friend." Aww how cute? Shut up.

2) Work with Adidas this weekend was pretty tiring. Saturday and Monday were pain in the ass wake-up mornings in which I had to wake up at 445am and 415am respectively since both of those events were in Jersey. One thing I notice about working in Jersey is that these motherfuckers are nice. Well then again I'd expect them to be livin in their monsterass homes, etc. Jersey girls are bangin but I'ma let yall be the judge when in two weeks I feature the Long Island vs. Jersey battle of the hotness/dumb as rocks special. They all seem to be healthy too...having their real playgrounds and shit...you don't see those in the hood no more hah- you got basketball courts tho...

3) Returning to Apple for these next four days, hurray. I have mixed emotions as always about working at that store. On one end, it's still cool to interact with the customers, something new happens every day and it's not usually boring. On the other side of the spectrum, I am sick of hearing the same fuckin questions over, and over, and over again but you have to look at the customers' point of view bc they may be asking it for the first time themselves. I'm content with the hours I got this week tho; I def prefer the 8 hour shifts over those bullshit "yeah come to work from 3-7 and make yourself useful while burnin gas for nothing" shifts. I never understood the point of those shifts.

4) Why does it always seem like I speak too soon? Anytime I mention something about a potential positive for me, it always turns out sour? Fuck that, maybe I need to use some reverse psychology from now on. For example, I have (apparently) an interview tomm morning with Zog Sports that is a paid one so I do wanna get this shit indeed. I know I'm not gonna get it because I'll wind up being #2 or #3 and I won't get a call back because they "don't want to hurt my feelings" and they'll find some fucktard who has "more experience". I never understood that though, how can someone gain experience when they get shafted for someone else who has more?

5) My new philosophy: Out of sight, out of mind. I always feel like when I'm tryin to get in contact with someone, that fuck doesn't ever respond back to me. So anyone who's like that with me I'm just gonna phase them out the same way they did to me. It's frustrating that people only wanna touch base with you when they find it most conveinent for them but who gives a shit.

6) Quote of the week: "At this point, I'm a fucking professional." - Some gay soundin dude talkin amongst his friends probably having a PMS moment bc he was angry at something.

7) Ahh fleet week came and went. Thursday night at Nevadas they were almost nowhere to be found. Karaoke night was typical shit, I got to practice some of my new game some new techniques with mother canuckers. Saturday nights I hardly ever go out these days but since I was on lockdown for Friday night, I took a rain check. Saturday nights are hella weird to me. Fuckin Bridge and Tunnel/Schlong Island invasion nights. I first went to some spot called Orange Valve bc my co-worker told me about it. Cockfest, so I went to Nevadas lookin at these 30 somethings doin some ballroom dancing to Souljah Boi? And then TI?? I felt like I was on some Back to the Future type shit. Then the Marines did their thing by wooin any chick who had any depth of drunkeness on them by takin them to the dancefloor.

Sometimes I wonder what they say to them to get them leakin:
-Them: I got a cannon down here, wanna light it up?
- Girl: Ooh baby (makeout).

Then I witnessed some of the worst dancing in the history of man by some Asian dude. Stick to Kung-Fu Fighting next time...the disaster I recorded on my phone. I went back to Orange Valve and participated in some random ass lap-dance contest where I had to lap-dance a chick...and I won? Some thick chick was on the chair and I somehow lifted that, and the chair up, I have power. I got $20 from my mans bc he was like "yeah this dude got this shit" and a couple free drinks so that was interesting.

8) As I was takin a nap, I got a text at around 555pm sayin, "You wanna hit up the Mets game I got field level seats at 710pm" I woke my ass up immediately threw some clothes on and bounced hah. Playing the Marlins (who I don't know how they have as of Monday the #3 best record in the league), the first few innings were run-filled and pretty exciting...but as usual the frustration of being a Mets fan rears its ugly head. The Marlins hit the ball hard and find the holes. The Mets hit the ball hard yet somehow the Marlins always made fielding plays. Lost 7-3. It just baffles me how every time they take a step forward, they always go one step back, etc. Some bachata shit I don't know.

I hate girls who wear pink hats of teams, it's not "cool"; nor people wearing Yankee garb to the stadium. Go wear your shit at a Yankee game hah; you won't see me comin into your stadium wearing a Mets fitted...well now maybe I will, because I wanna get booed and see how that's like.

And Christ...Mets fans are so fuckin fickle. You boo the shit out of a player and then he proceeds to hit 2 home runs in 3 innings (this is Jose Reyes btw) and all of a sudden you're cheering loving him chanting Jose Jose Jose! Get the fuck outta here hah. I bet you the bank if Willie Randolph wins 10 straight games they'll go "Don't Free Willie!" or some crap. It's pretty entertaining to be honest.

9) Can someone please explain to me the big deal about the Hamptons? It takes forever and a fuckin day to drive out there...I'm sure its Viva La White Girl heaven but probably filled with gold-diggin skanks who are lookin for that "bachlor" to get them probably $20 drinks who the fuck knows. Cops would probably pull me over there hah if I was stupid enough to take the 3 hour drive there to go "Sir did you mean to drive west to Philly?" hah. I'm sure the beach is beautiful, the clubs are beyond poppin, but I wonder to myself "Would it even be worth my time and lack of money to even fuck with this shit?" Probably not, unless someone gave me a real incentive to go. At the end of the day, my instinct is probably right and it'll be overrated.

Next entry, I'm gonna let yall do some askin. If I get enough questions, I'll have an "Ask DK section" in which anything (and I do mean anything) goes and I'll keep it gutter as always. If you got questions, hit me up with a message on my facebook (for those who know who the fuck I am) or email me at rotwila2k1@yahoo.com

And so on.

The Internut Complex.

As promised:

Back in the days, it was all about meetin up with someone in person. All the time. Nowandays tho with the advancement of the internet and "social networking sites"...you can start meetin people through the internet. Just like with everything in life, it has its advantages and disadvantages. I'm gonna go over some of them:

1) Looks (advantage- in person). When you first meet someone in person, obviously you know how they look like. Yeh they can be the dopest person in the world personality-wise but if they don't physically stand up to what you're looking for...you can at least dead that shit before it starts. Online, you can only go by pictures. Sometimes however, you can wind up being pleasantly surprised if the person is just a bad picture taker. And of course, the more pics you have to go by, the better. At the same time tho, there is Adobe Photoshop and those infamous "pose for the Myspace crowd" pics that are just facial shots hah. Proceed with caution.

2) Personality (advantage- online). In the long run, how he/she can keep your interest is gonna supercede how someone looks. Of course, you still need to take care of yourself but it doesn't matter if you're Carmen Electra, if all you can do is babble about nothin; a relationship isn't gonna last long because it'll then become purely physical. When talkin to someone online first, you get a feel of if they can sustain conversation (bc that's all you can do) and isn't just one-dimensional either. In person, it can be harder for someone to break out of their shell, thus not knowing how their personality is...but at the same time, you get a feel of who they are quicker in person.

3) Range (advantage- online). Ludacris may have gotten hoes from different area codes because he does tours, etc. But you can meet a wide array of girls/dudes from all over the country online through these social networking sites. After all, this country has 300 some odd million people...why just stick with the 9 million (in my case) people who live in NYC? Of course, the disadvantage is distance; you could be hella compatable with someone who's a good 2,000 miles away...and that doesn't help much does it? Personally, I've tended to click better with girls who don't live in the area.

4) Selectivity (advantage- in person). Choose your destiny. While online you can be picky too...chances are you'll never know if that someone really turns out to be some Wacko Jacko or is the real deal. When doin what I call the "Myspace Holla"; you're gonna get shut down A LOT via the silent treatment. People are more sketched out by that then in person. At least in person they can see who the hell you are and then make a decision from there. I mean, if you're DK that just increased the percentage of gettin yours from 3% to 8% but that's still a jump ya dig?

5) Goin for the Kill (advantage- online). Chances are (and it happens A LOT) that if you meet a chick and get her number the same night, you'll wind up hesitating on callin her. By then she'd probably forget that she met you the other night and that's effort wasted (I don't know how many times I reiterate that shit). However, if you've been talkin to someone online for quite a while, they've gotten comfortable with you and maybe they want to take it "to the next level" so you exchange numbers. It's not so awkward now to call them because you already know them and have gotten the OK.

6) The Round 2 (advantage- push). In the "in-person" case it's the "first date". In the online case it's the "inital encounter". Both can be equally awkward. In-person, though you sorta have an idea of who he/she is...how is it gonna be like now when it's just the two of yall doin somethin? People in a group setting are totally different from when they're put in an individual setting. Online- you know the person is cool and you're excited to meet them...but what if physically they really don't stack up how you envisioned it to be? If they don't, you're put in a predicament especially if you've both hyped the meeting up.

At the end of the day, it is what it is. It's not embarassing to say that you've met so-and-so online...as long as meeting people online is the ONLY thing you do. Hell, I'll admit 2 of my last 3 relationships came from people who I met online initially (the last one I couldn't have asked for it to blossom any better). Of course, meetin someone in-person is still the conventional way of doing things...but since as a society today we're so stuck on looks; it may be harder for the average-lookin to uglyass mothafucka to get who they want and not be blinded by just looks. Also, don't knock it until you try it, you can be pleasantly surprised just so long as you apply good judgement (as you would in any situation of course).

PS- Conference Finals: Gimme the Pistons and Lakers both in 7 games.

And so on.

Tha Hangover: Sunday Morning Rah-Rah.

Well, I had writer's block last week hence why you didn't see an entry. And shit, I was woken up this morning at 7 to drop off my grandmother to Brooklyn, so fuck it; I went on a nice jog this morning and now I'm here. And I actually have shit to talk about.

1) Past couple of weekends have been pretty live I'm not gonna lie. I think it's the combination of a lot of people's birthdays fallin at this time and the fact that the class of 2008 has graduated (congrats to yall by the way). Now I'm not the one really to make too terrible of a decision when I'm bent but I think I accomplished something in which I don't even know what to make of it:

I danced with a mom with one leg.

Don't get it twisted, it was pretty cool/athletic that she could groove it with one leg. But I had NO idea until my boys pointed it out to me and ribbed me for it. Nevertheless I gotta give her props for hittin up the bar, sippin on some fine wine and gettin jiggy wit it with her daughters.

2) As I was drivin this morning I wonder what's a worse feeling: gettin home around 6am...or gettin ready/en route to work at 6am hah? I'd have to say the latter obviously but unless you're jackhammerin and just left her crib I don't think gettin home at 6am is all too enticing. For me it's weird as fuck when I wake up for my Adidas jobs at 430 or 5 or so (when I'm used to at times gettin home at 330 or 4am) and I'm seein people just comin home. It's weirder tho at the rare occasion when I miss my 3:16 Ronkonkoma/Far Rockaway train and get on the 5:11; get home around 5:50 and seein people walk towards the train/bus. Sheeeit.

3) I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friends.

4) This thing right here is quite possibly the greatest theory I have ever stumbled upon. Every real man should read this. Shoutout to my boy Lee for findin this gold mine.

5) I have this odd feeling that I don't ever want to shake. Now, I'm not the one that believes in soulmates persay...but at the same time- I feel like there is this someone who I'm meant to be with...and that's just the way it is. I'm not even gonna lie- I've never met her in person before; yet we've been talkin to each other for almost two years and everything just clicks. I can't really explain it- I'll delve more into this around mid-week (The Internut Complex as I'll dub it) but it makes sense. Gettin to know a person AND having a multi-layered sense of attraction to them is best achieved online (albeit granted that's pretty rare since you have about 20 Wacko Jackos for every sane person).

6) My grades for the playoff series thus far:
- Pistons-Magic: B+. Why would I give this series such a high rating even though it only went 5 games? Because truthfully there were only 2 lopsided quarters in the entire series. Other than that, a few plays here and there- the Magic were right there. However...the Pistons are the most experienced team left outside of San Antonio and their insane team chemistry (even sans Chauncey Billups) was the difference. But give credit to the Magic, they fought hard and were not intimidated in the least.
- Cavs-Celtics: B. I don't know what to make of this series (neither with the Spurs-Hornets for that matter). Homecourt advantage has been absolutely crucial. I don't understand Boston's Jekyll and Hyde shit (I mean yes you earned homecourt throughout but damn this is takin it to another extreme). Yet for some reason; I am not surprised how incredulously low scoring this series has been. Defense has been crazy, but outside of games 1 and 6 have been pretty dull to me.
- Lakers-Jazz: A-. All 6 games could've went either way really. The basic theme was that the team with the lead would be in control throughout...but the team trailing would make that run to make it interesting...almost too interesting hah. The transformation of the MVP Kobe Bryant continues and I'm almost at the point now where I want to see him win a title hah. Maybe because he has the most entertaining NBA player this side of Dikembe Mutombo.
- Spurs-Hornets: B. All 6 games have been pretty one-sided and seem to follow a theme. When the games are in New Orleans, NO will jump out to a quick lead, SA will call timeout, SA will chip away and take the lead or stay close at halftime. Then in the 3rd quarter, NO absolutely massacres SA and the game is effectively over. When the games are in San Antonio, the teams will trade baskets for a while and then SA will be the team to go off in the 3rd quarter. By the way, the mustard yellow at first I hated it but I've grown to like it hah.

7) The Mets annoy me. How do you go 3-4 in a seven game homestand vs. the Reds and Nationals. Why we struggle with the Nats is besides me to be honest...and I can't get a read on the team in general. Do they even wanna play for Willie Randolph? They def don't have that joy/passion that they had in 2006 and the first half of 2007. It sounds incredulous but in my personal opinion the turning point of all of this was when Randolph benched Jose Reyes in a July game in Houston for not running out a ground ball (which he thought was gonna go foul so I can't blame him). Beating the Yankees 7-4 yesterday tho will curb some of my annoyance tho.

8) Ahh geez...this coming week is Fleet Week. Aka Interception City. You have no shot against the men in uniform just get out of their way and try to bob and weave and settle for 2nd, 3rd, maybe even 32nd best. You may have your bar, but unless you can defend your homecourt like I do at Nevadas, just wait til they leave and resume all activity. I think if I was a Navy/Marine dude I just wouldn't speak. My pickup line would probably be along the lines of "You know that bed that you sleep on every night that we're gonna sleep in tonight? Yup...you're welcome." I never really understood what makes a chick so wet about a dude in a uniform or even a suit. Maybe it's that George Clooney shit? It's true tho, if I rocked an orange prison jumpsuit uniform I might make the hoodrats wet? Ok maybe not but they want that thuggggg.

Disclaimer: I have nothin but the utmost respect for these dudes for what they do. I know quite a few dudes who are in the Naval Academy and they're hella chill people to get to know. I personally couldn't see myself volunteering but definetly good for them; and yes they do deserve this week to get all the pussy they want because for hella long stretches of time they make the Sahara Desert look like the Amazon Rainforest.

9) Is a perfect segway to my pet peeve of the week: Girls who mess with dudes who are in jail (aka Lockdown Love). Hell, I don't know if the dude was really a good guy and just made a mistake and landed in prison. But chances are, he was prob some dude runnin on the streets, did some stupid shit (yet they'll think at the time is justified) and now they're up north. This Lockdown Love shit is on Power 105 between 10pm-1am on Sunday nights and this is the kinda shit that I have to hear:

- "Yeah this is ______ and I wanna give a shoutout to my boo (insert some gangsta nickname). I just wanna let you know you're my king and I'm your queen and I can't wait til you get out..." Ok in other words he's your pimp and you're his bitch.

- "This is ______ and I wanna give a shoutout to my husband (his actual name). I can't wait to visit you again up north I miss you like crazy..." Probably not. You already on the next nigga's shit.

- "This is _____ and (whatever she calls him) I just wanna let you kno you mean everything to me it hurts that you're not by my side. You're my Clyde and I'm your Bonnie." Huh what? Fuckin Jay-Z and the BET niggerdom effect.

But whatever. I can't really knock on the dudes/chicks that you decide to get yourselves with. But I get turned off by a chick who says "yeh I want this good dude who got a job got money and got a roof on his head and is gonna do somethin with his life". But fuck it, she never was specific about it; he could be good (in bed) who got a job (slingin like Young Jeezy) got money (off that dope) and got a roof on his head (his mama's basement) and do somethin with his life (get an Escalade). Yeh it's stereotypical but that allure for that "thug dude" never ceases to baffle me; he's "hard, hustles, keeps me on my toes, blah blah blah blah". At the end of the day tho- you can't force somethin to work out. If you're meant for him or her, it'll all fall into place.

And so on.

Sunday Night Rah-Rah: DK's Wrath.

Shut up.

1) So I go to Jersey this past Thursday and hit up a TKE party (that was the fraternity I joined in college in case you didn't know). I don't think I've ever partied in Jersey before so this was some new shit to me. Man, Viva La White Girl is all I had to say about that sheeit. I felt like I was on Long Island or some shit except I actually have respect for Jersey, etc. How I was able to get 2 numbers by puttin in absolutely no work at all is still besides me shit. It def was a change of pace for me just chillin in the city; didn't get too crunked/couldn't ya kno but I think...I like Jersey girls. Not as much as CT girls, however; they're my standard-bearer...for now.

2) Speakin of the ladies...this is my dumb as rocks section right here. I mean, this weekend was dedicated to workin out on LI AND being in Jersey, so this was primetime for that shit. Lemme break it down:
- These 2 blonde chicks think I'm God's gift to man once I say I'm from NYC. One tells me to take her number down. They musta been drunk as fuck bc that just doesn't happen to me like that hah. Should I call/txt her? Nahhh.
- These other chicks who were on some more chill shit, one of them I got her number basically bc I said I was a Mets fan. Hah, I love baseball season. I ain't really talk to them like that at the party bc I was makin my rounds (as were they, you gotta do you) and she failed my Text Test (more on that in a minute) so now I don't know.
- These 2 chicks at the LI Marathon comin at me and my co-workers about skydiving and when I told one of them you should jump with me she was like heh heh hehe I can barely drop myself how would I be able to drop both you and me. What???

3) Quote of the Weekend: There's 2 of em. One pissed me off when I thought about it and the other one...well is another one.
a) Your face looks swollen now son. FUCK thanks for tellin me I look horrible. But I won't throw up on purpose in the toilet don't worry this isn't The Biggest Loser...yet.
b) Iced coffee! Get it while it's hot! Nuff said hah.

4) DK's Text Test: When I get a chick's number, I feel like if I hit her up the next day then that's desperation. Thus, I wait until 2 days after to hit her up via text. Like they said in the Boondocks, "Bitches love textin." Hence, if she responds that means she's gotta be somewhat interested. If not, mayyyybe a phone call. But who does that anymore hah?

5) NBA Round 1 Playoff Grades:
-Celtics-Hawks: B- (good games down in Atlanta, but ridiculously one-sided in Boston)
-Pistons-76ers: C+ (surprisingly good series to start considering the ridiculous disparity of playoff experience between the 2 clubs...series was over tho in the 2nd half of game 4 when it was decided both teams would play hard instead of only one).
-Magic-Raptors: C- (the Magic were never really threatened in the series; game 3 loss was expected).
-Lebrons-Wizards: B- (not a bad series, more focused on the extracurriculars than on the actual games themselves, physical series tho).
-Lakers-Nuggets: F (obviously).
-Hornets-Mavericks: D (series never seemed to be in doubt).
-Spurs-Suns: C (instant classic in game 1; close games in 2 and 5 but Suns don't know how to execute down the stretch...inbetween, 2 ugly games in Phoenix).
-Rockets-Jazz: B (best series because aside from game 5 and the 3rd quarter of game 3 all games were hard fought both teams played hard).

-overall: C+/C

Predictions of the Semifinal Matchups: Celtics in 6, Pistons in 6 (but I wouldn't be surprised at all if it's a sweep after last night), Lakers in 7, Spurs in 6.

6) Youtube Video of the Week: Latrell Sprewell tellin it how it is. I miss this mothafucka hah.

7) I worked the Long Island Marathon. Hella hours and hella energy drinks (no NOT Red Bull; some shit called Awake Energy which is "100% juice + energy"...yet somehow their light is "30% juice + energy". Great. It was cool tho I like dealin with people who are actually nice (I'll give it to LI'ers...they're nice people...as long as they are gettin what they want, but aren't we all?)

7a) Oxymoron of the Week: McDonald's being one of the sponsors of the event. They had the audacity to talk about their premieum salads being a healthy alternative and comparing their foods "favorably" to other popular foods. I'll give you 3 examples, I actually have the fact sheets at home but I don't have a scanner. Anyways, here goes nothin:

- McDonalds Hamburger (260 cals, 9g fat) vs. 2 slices of Pizza (400/19), Hot Dog on a bun with mustard (270/16), a cup of Spaghetti with Meatballs (270/13).
- Big Mac (560 calories, 25g protein, 30g fat, 47g carbs, 1010mg sodium) vs. a cup of Tuna Salad on a Medium Croissant (610/38/31/45/1250); 8 Nachos with cheese, beef, beans, and peppers (570/20/31/56/1820); 6-inch Subway Italian BMT sandwich (with 1 tablespoon each of mayo and olive oil blend) (605/23/38/47/1870)
- Caesar Salad w/Grilled Chicken (with Butter Garlic Croutons & Creamy Caesar Dressing) (470/34/26/26/1540) vs. Chef's Salad (iceberg lettuce, 2oz diced ham, 1oz shredded cheddar cheese, 2 tsbp chopped egg, 2 tsbp bacon bits, 4 tbsp french dressing) (640/32/51/14/1080); Oriental Salad (romaine lettuce, mandarin oranges, 3oz chicken breast, 1/3 cup chow mein noodles, 4 tsbp oriental sesame dressing) (540/32/36/26/750); Taco Bell Fiesta Salad (870/31/47/80/1780).

Ok. You basically choose THE worst foods from competitors...or concocted foods that no one would really eat. I don't think anyone wants to mix mayo with olive oil that's just nasty soundin...NO ONE in their right mind (I would hope) would even eat at Taco Bell hah...and at the end of the day are you tryin to tell us that "at least with our food you won't die as fast?" Please.

8) Mets week in review: I didn't really pay attention this week; I mean taking 2 of 3 from the majors' current best (Arizona- on their field where we've owned them since God knows when...16-2 now in our last 18 games there) is always good...especially after gettin our asses kicked 13-1 by fucking Pittsburgh of all teams in the getaway game.

9) Last but not least, my Apple Store man...people tryin to come in to buy 5 of them iPhones(what else is new)...and I mean I know what they're tryin to do. The schemes/things they say are incredible at times...

a) "These are for gift"
b) "This is for my friend"
c) "I want to send to another country"
d) The fake "Only AT&T??? Ok...gimme 5"
e) One person had the audacity to ask me straight up, "Why are they so expensive what about wholesalers who try to sell the phone, I'm a wholesaler."

Fuckin idiots. I mean, I feel bad for people who actually USE the damn phone for what it's supposed to be and then can't get it because the 5 iPhone Crew comes in to ruin the day. But business is buisness man and they pay so there's not much of anything you can do about it.

And so on.