THE R-BLOCK BLOTTER

Abuse of Emotions.

2010-11-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you talk with bartenders, you have the most fascinating conversations with them; in particular when the night is slow. I was in the East Village last night at Lunasa and a bartender named Kenny told me that we abuse our emotions. I didn't quite get it initially until he broke it down...and it was pure genius.

It's all good to be happy, sad, angry, etc. But it does seem as if we get so to the most minute things:

Being happy: It's one thing to be so. It's another to tell everybody about it. The two worst examples that I personally can think of is when someone is in a relationship or when someone just has a child. I read a status on Facebook the other day of a girl who writes that she loves her boyfriend and wants everyone to know. Yes it's cute but you can keep it between the two of yall; frankly very few others are gonna care. It's annoying as fuck. Then Kenny uses an example with someone who has a newborn child "Isn't he the cutest thing you ever seen?" What are we gonna say? No one is gonna say no. It's obviously a great feeling if say you got a job, got engaged/married, have a kid, etc. But to broadcast every little thing that makes you happy? Do you need that much love in the heart of the city?

Being upset/sad/angry: If someone close to you dies, yes you're naturally gonna be upset. Someone hurts you emotionally, you're not gonna be pleased. But it does appear we get upset over trivial things more often than not. We've learned to take everything for granted. "Cell phone is broken FML WHATEVER WILL I DO??" Technology has become something that we have learned that we cannot live without. Take the people of Haiti for example, especially in and around Port-Au-Prince. Most of them still don't have roofs over their heads and a hurricane may hit there by the end of the week. Now that's a reason to be upset/angry/sad. But crying because someone called you fat, KNOCK IT OFF. Wanting to "cut a dude's balls off because he cheated on you" bitch please, stop being so selfish and just move on to the next one. Easier said than done? Perhaps. But learn to keep your emotions in check.

Play on words: Some words in society are offensive as fuck there's no question. But for people to butt into conversations and say that they find a word offensive, sit your ass down. Unless it's directed towards you and you alone, you have no right to bitch and moan. If I tell a story and call someone a cunt in it, the word itself isn't offensive. A fuckin cunt? No difference. A bitch-made ass super-sized motherfucker god damn cunt? Still the same shit. People want us to say whatever is on our mind but the second we do they want to shut us up. WHICH ONE IS IT THEN??

Worst quote ever: "I want a strong yet sensitive man." A fuckin oxymoron. You say you want a man that is emotionless but yet can cry at a drop of a hat? What I miss?? I need the ladies to explain this quote to me.

America is an over-indulgent society. We drink to excess, smoke marijuana to excess (and not even know if what we're smokin is natural), eat to excess...and yes we are entirely too emotional. It's not needed to attach emotion to every single little thing. And so on.

Your Relationships vs. Your Money.

2010-11-01T10:44:00.001-07:00

What sparked this topic was a question one of my girl friends asked me last week. Our schedules conflict and she wishes she could see me more often, but I have my work obligations to fulfill. She wanted me to take a day off for Halloween weekend and I told her that even though I'd love to, I can't pass up on making that cheddar.

Your relationships with your friends and family are obviously important. In a perfect world, that's all we would really have to worry about. With the way people's work schedules are nowadays; it leaves us precious little time for others, much less yourself. Face-to-face interaction has been decreased and really the only way I for example communicate with people often now is through digital means. However; one cannot afford to compromise their work schedule just to accommodate people. Don't get it twisted, my job I can technically make my own hours/own schedule but I need to be realistic. I make the most money on weekends. Am I gonna necessarily take a Saturday night off just to hang out with people if it's not a special occasion? No. If I hit up people to try and hang out on a Monday night at 9pm in the city to grab drinks and they have work the next morning, are they gonna come out? Most likely not, unless THEIR schedule allows for it. Your most meaningful relationships are with people who respect your schedule (and of course you overall).

Now to the question- what's more important, relationships or money? Long story short, what's one of the top things that strains relationships? Money (or the lack of it). Without having money to support yourself, how are you gonna be able to go out & have a good time with your friends? People that view it on the opposite side of the spectrum have a point. You can have all the money in the world but no one can travel the world alone for an extended period of time and feel whole. The thing is though, relationships come and go over time. The one constant is you and how you can sustain in the world..with money.

Not saying that I don't feel bad when people ask me out and I repeatedly tell them that I can't (and it's probably gotten to the point where people won't bother asking anymore) because I do. But your money is that, yours. You can't compromise it for other people unless you don't mind compromising yourself. And so on.

The Overuse of "Hater".

2010-10-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

Oh where to begin? I blame Maino for all this mess with his "Hi Hater" song from a couple of years back. Now everyone has taken a word that used to have such a strong meaning and pussified it.

Example 1: "Haters are my motivators." Wait, what?? Don't get me wrong, it's good to be fueled to prove people who may doubt you wrong...but whatever happened to motivating yourself? Why would you think about people who obviously give less of a shit about you than a flushed toilet? Whatever happened to being motivated by peers, people you may have grown up looking up to, your parents and the ilk? These so called "haters" of yours aren't watching you 24/7 and in the words of Antoine Dodson "you can run and tell dat!"

Example 2: "Shoutout to my haters." Since when? Can you even name who they are? If not then what the fuck is the point? Last time I checked, we gave shoutouts on the radio and the ilk to our peeps.

Example 3: "Haters" in the context of disagreeing with an opinion. Why does it have to constitute "hatin?" What I miss?? This happens most when discussing somethin in the sports or entertainment realm. Per example, if someone brings up Drake and I say I don't like him because of his style or whatever- that makes me a "hater"? I'm supposed to like everyone and everything that I encounter? Isn't that hypocritical? Sure is. I DO think that if you can't respect an opinion or a hustle then that's "hatin" though.

One of the dumbest quotes I have ever stumbled upon not surprisingly was on Twitter. "If ur OVERLY critical of others career & ur not gettin paid 4 this profession ur not a critic ur just a HATER"- @RevRunWisdom. It's wrong for the common person to critique now?? C'mon son. It's as if no one is willing to take the heat (unless they're tryin to have em win a championship in NBA 2K11) yet at the same time they desperately want somethin to hang their hat on. Just because someone critiques somethin doesn't mean they're hinging on you. Quite the opposite, it's YOU that's obsessin over this "hater".

And this "Haters give me publicity" crap...KNOCK IT OFF. Yes, they do sort of. But it's highly unlikely that no one else gives a shit. If I smack the shit out of you in the middle of the forest (a public realm) and no one hears it or sees it- it's the same concept. What happened to thankin those who are worth a damn in your lives more so?

We are obsessed now with this "haters" shit. Hate, hate, hate. Then we turn around and complain "where's the love?" Spent it all. And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/20/10).

2010-03-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

Before I continue with the tales of cabbie appreciation weekend...I'd like to forewarn yall that beginning Monday March 22nd I will no longer be posting my tales on the R-Block Blotter. The new webpage will be http://thebrokenmeter.wordpress.com (though I'll be getting rid of the ".wordpress" ish. For my faithful followers who read it through my Facebook RSS feed you'll still get the links posted onto my Facebook page.

I got off to an inauspicious start to my day at the airport. I decided to walk around for quite a bit thinking that the lines weren't moving all that quickly. Come to find out by the time I get to my senses..my cab is the only one on my line and about 5 or so lines had already left. FUUUUCKKKK ha. But I had a good feeling about the trip I was gonna get and lo and behold...I get this blonde chick headin into Manhattan. $56.25 after tip thank goodness.

The only person to briefly piss me off today was this simple hybrid DMX/Cam'ron lookin nigga around Broadway and 33rd street. He was in front of me & I guess he was trying to back up into a parking space so I did what I had to do and tried moving to my left. For some reason though this fucker punches my side window and starts bitchin. I can't hear a word he's saying but he's givin me the TO crying face. I snarled at him because I knew for a fact that if I was driving a private car you wouldn't dare touch the vehicle. What makes the fact I'm drivin a cab different?

My passengers of the day: This group of 5 that crams into my cab around Church & Walker street after I dropped off a pretty blonde (more on her later in the chronicle). A chick gets in the front this time (she did have a ring on it tho damn ha) and almost immediately she tells me I got some nice tunes on which I appreciate. Thank DJ Big Ben 12-4 Saturday Nights Hot 97. We kick it briefly talkin about she lives in DC and I'm a native. "Concrete jungle where dreams are made of!" Yes...there's nothin you can't do. Anyway, they work for the NY Red Bulls & had went to the game at the new stadium and were continuing their bar hopping for the night. She exclaims that I'm the coolest cab driver she ever encountered. What I do?? A guy that was in the back gives me a $20 and tells me TO KEEP IT ALL. The fare was $7.30. I love you (no homo).

Right after them (I'm now on Greenwich Ave & Perry Street at a place called Fiddlesticks...DON'T ASK) I pick up these older ladies most likely in their 40s heading back to their hotel on 49th and Lexington. I engage in a typical conversation about how I have the most stressful job in America and how I'm able to keep my cool. "You don't let anything get to you it seems like." I appreciate the compliment but the nigga moments I've envisioned in my head are countless. They ask me where's the best slice of pizza in town. I tell them that they haven't lived until they try Artichoke Pizza (14th between 1st and 2nd aves). Intriguingly enough one of them went to West Virginia and the other one went to Pittsburgh for college. They're best friends...but that's one thing they'll never agree on. West Virginians burn couches. I once again get called the coolest cab driver. Is this a trend?

I picked up these four broads around Gold Street who head to 21st and Broadway to some club. "Get on the FDR" I KNOW THAT YOU DIMWIT. What came out of my mouth though was "that was the plan all along". Because Hot 97 kept playing commercials I decided to put on 92.3 NOW. Ahh a Saturday Night Dance Mix this should be good. They tell me to put the volume up to the sounds of the Dush Dush Dush and one of the girls does her hands up fist pump. I get my fistpump on too. You hear the broads goin "woooooooo!" What other cab driver do you know who fistpumps while driving? I can't even have a bluetooth so why not.

As I've mentioned before some people buck stereotypes. This African-American family gets in my cab as I'm about to get the eff out of the Brooklyn Heights area to get back on the bridge. They take me to some random ass area...Throop Street and I forgot the cross street but I was not exactly somewhere where I wanted to be. Live in Bedford-Stuyvasant. After being directed by the mother their cab fare came out to about $10. But they tipped $2 and the dude even directed me on how to get back on the Williamsburg Bridge. And he dapped me. Black people love me again. I had to flip the off-duty light on though because I had no desire to stay within Brooklyn & I needed food so I went to the Mickey D's on Marcy. Hoodness gracious.

I get back into Manhattan and I pick up this Spanish woman. How she hailed the cab like she was waving a blanket to place back on my bed wasn't even the worst part...she is chompin down on her KFC meal and the aroma is gettin all up in my nose. Fuck, I'm not tryna get hungry again. She asks if I want some...I don't know where your hands have been and are you asking me because I love chicken? I don't even eat KFC though so no thank you. She tells me to get to 16th between 7th and 8th avenue. "You have to take 8th avenue up to 16th then make a right." I TOOK A FUCKIN GEOGRAPHY TEST AND WHO IS THE DRIVER?? WHO IS THE PASSENGER?? I KNOW THIS ALREADY!!! One of these days I might snap on a customer & tell them to drive themselves up somewhere if they really know how to. Until then however.

I pick up this family of 3 around Lincoln Center and they're headin to Lower Manhattan (this is right before the fistpumpers). They wanted to stop off at a wine shop (random) and then I had to head all. the. way. downtown. "Make a left on John Street please" THERE IS A ONE WAY POINTING LEFT ON JOHN STREET. Their fare came out to about $20 and I get $1 tip for my efforts. Holla.

DK's Bordello continues with this dude and seemingly his girlfriend getting in my cab trying to get to the west side. Next thing I know I'm lookin at my mirror and these muh fuhs are on some Young & The Restless soap opera type makeout scene where he's kissin her neck then she takes her arm around his head. And dahhhhh, eeeeeahhhhh. Ick. Then I see the chick's head disappear for a couple minutes. I hope this is not what I'm thinkin...and to be frank I really didn't want to know. It didn't happen, though. The broad kicks back & lays her damn feet on the top of one of my seats. Where's my Lysol? Their $13.50 ride gets rewarded with a $1 tip get the fuck out my cab.

This Punjabi MC assclown on 6th avenue is on the 2nd lane to the left and somehow someway...he decides to cut ALL THE WAY across the avenue to cut me off and pick up this couple. Really? REALLY?? Do you realize that that avenue has people BEGGING to be picked up and to do all of that to prevent me from pickin up a passenger was not needed. I'm glad he did though...because the next passenger I picked up was a chill dude tryin to go back to the east side. He goes on a spiel about his girlfriend (I can smell the weed on him all day ha) and how she's hella overprotective..needing to know like a week in advance when he's going out, etc. He asks me how he should approach it. I'm no relationship guru...my longest relationship is 6 months (but only 4.5 months really counted) but I'm guessin the best thing you do is talk it out & get to the root of the problem. Maybe she has trust issues? Maybe she's scared of the future of the relationship since things seemingly are goin really well right now? I don't know. But he appreciates my advice. I get a $4 tip from him.

This blonde chick gets in my cab around 8th and 32st street and tells me that "I have to go downtown but let me get out my phone so I can tell you exactly where." Fair enough. She got one of those Blackberry Storm phones & she immediately trashes it. I get confused though when she tells me that she doesn't like the trackball but she likes to be simple. There ain't nothin simple about a touchscreen sweetheart ha. She loves the fact that I'm a New York native and she tells me she was born & raised here also. We fist pound. We then converse about running away from home episodes which I thought was hella random yet intriguing. She mentions the word boyfriend. 10 second buzzkill ha. Apparently she had went to this concert at the Garden, I do NOT remember this guy's name but he's supposedly this modern-era Frank Sinatra. At the end of the ride "will you get mad at me if I pay credit card, because I've been yelled at before." Ha, I don't give a fuck how you pay me..never will. She shakes my hand upon leavin the cab. Damn I'm good.

These ppl in another cab yell towards my cab which scared the shit out of me ha...then ask if I'm the cash cab. Do I look like an effin cash cab ha? I can see why they asked I suppose, since my music was blastin.

I copped this girl's name yesterday...her name is JD and she works at B-Bar. I picked her up around there in that ruckus & I'm droppin her off back in Williamsburg. We get into an engaging convo about how bridge & tunnel nights are the devil and that while they're not shy about spendin $13 on shots of Patron there...that she'll only get $4 tip out of say someone spendin for 7 shots of it. Hella hella nice chick from the ROCK upstate. We agree that native New Yorkers are friendlier than out-of-towners who try too hard to adapt to our lifestyle & simply brag about being a "New Yorker" SIT YOUR ASS DOWN. She gives me $20 on a $13 ride. Next time I go to B-Bar I will return the favor.

These rich kids who I seriously doubt were even 18 get in my cab and go from Lexington & 39th by the W Hotel ALL THE WAY TO Ocean Parkway in Midwood I believe it is? They were pretty boring. When I pull up to Avenue T though, I'm pullin up next to a couple Benzes and a Bentley. No Beemers sorry. What. The. Fuck. Their cab ride was $35+tip= $41. "Do you have change for a $100?" Yall muh fuhs roll like that?? Yes I do but god damn.

"Crank it (Fabolous) the fuck up"- This white dude goin to St. Vincent's Hospital to go work. I was in tears for about 20 seconds.

My final passneger of the day was an African-American male who wanted to take me back to Brooklyn (St. Marks Avenue and Classon Ave). Sheeit, Bed-Stuy again...my stompin grounds I see. He tipped decently and whatnot which I was once again surprised about. Bed-Stuy at 3am is bad news. That off-duty light is my best friend although:
-Another Punjabi MC dude was trying to pull off and had his off-duty light on...but this Spanish broad is tryin hella hard to open the doors that he had locked. He VERY RELUCTANTLY lets her in and I think she is cussin him the fuck out ha. I was dyin. I feel Punjabi MC I really do...but hey that was one bad bitch.

Poll Question of the Day: What is more important to you? A smooth ride, even if it's a little slower...or a ride where the cabbie is swervin all over...but you get to your destination quicker?

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/19/10).

2010-03-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

Cabbie appreciation weekend seems to be rollin along quite nicely. I'm not sure what the deal is. I don't know if it's because I have an American accent, I drive calmly, if it's the nice weather or some type of combination...but people continue to tip very well. Do they secretly read my blog? Who knows, but you won't find me complaining aside from a few missteps.

To start my shift I'm at the JFK lot listenin to the conclusion of the Wofford-Wisconsin game when this Haitian dude in the next parking lane gets out and is talkin to some dude. He turns his back to him (but is facing my direction) and seemingly on cue with me facing his direction for a split second...whips his dick out & starts pissin right next to his cab. You THAT lazy to walk to the bathroom?? I know it's filthy but come the fuck on ha. Hopefully he didn't shake hands with his boy afterwards either. I could care less to know. I was traumatized for about 46 seconds tho.

I had a deja vu moment. Last Friday I was sent to Terminal 2 and the passenger I picked up was goin to East New York on New Jersey Avenue. Now, I'm being sent to Terminal 2 and this passenger I pick up is goin to East New York on New Jersey Avenue. As a matter of fact I think it's the same block also WTF. This guy though was Spanish and he tipped me 25%. But the main issue was that on Atlantic Avenue that street was closed off. Come to find out someone got shot & hella cops were searchin for the guy who did it. There was even a CBS2 chopper hoverin overhead. Doesn't summer start in June, not March? Needless to say when in ENY the off-duty light is on full blast.

This British dude gets in my cab & tells me to take him to Union Square. Another broad & her cronies would tell me the same shit later. Look...Union Square is a hella broad area, you need to be more specific about where you want me to drop you off at. As long as I see the words Union and Square that's where it's gonna be...I don't give a shit if it's 14th street or 17th street you're gonna have to deal with it. Anyhow the British dude pays with card and gives me a $0.00 tip. I tried so hard not to stifle my laughter bc it showed up on the meter. He felt bad however about it & that he forgot to add it. I get $2 tip. Nice recovery. The dumb broad & her cronies take a cab from 2nd and 14th to Union Square (4th and 14th) you have got to be kidding me. $4.30 but they give me $4. Whatever to be honest.

A lesson in idiocy took place around 745pm EDT. This broadicua initially hails a cab at 33rd street & 6th ave...then says nevermind...then as I'm about to pull off decides she wants to get in. Where you goin? "To the train station." Uh, which one? "6 train Park Avenue" The one on 33rd or 42nd Grand Central? "33rd." I have no problem with this obviously except for a few things:
1) It's 65 degrees out!
2) The station is 4 or 5 crosstown blocks away.
3) I can't even make a right turn on 34th street until 8pm so I have to go make it on 36th.
4) The bitch only had $5 to her name...which she doesn't tell me until I'm on Madison and 36th. "Sir I only got $5." How you gonna tell me this when as soon as you step in the cab it's $4 Mon-Fri between 4pm and 8pm. "I'm sorry sir." Maricon.
5) She was in need of burning some extra calories to put it nicely.
6) Her neck tattoo is tacky as fuck. Some chinese symbol...chinese tats are so 1999.

I guess I did have a problem with it, or 6. Her ride was $6.30 and since I only got the $5 it basically was a $4.50 ride for me. Fail.

Some people though are smart, even though it takes away some money from my ride. Broadway is a nightmare around the SoHo area and this chick wanted to take the cab to Spring street. We're stuck in traffic near Houston & she tells me she wants to get out...which is fine because Spring is 2 blocks away (albeit they're kinda long blocks but still..it's nice out).

The next dude that gets in my cab is carryin a TV that from what I know his gf bought but he had to pick up. I respect that. He goes on to tell me that he's a Cali boy, etc and that his dream is to own a Lamborghini. This was mentioned bc we saw one parked on 6th avenue in a chrome silver. Sleek shit. At a light he takes out his camera phone and shows me that he was doin 155 on the dash in a Subaru while drivin around the Sierra Nevada mountains. WTF?? I've hit 100 on the dash maybe twice..EVER.

Rules of cab engagement are simple. First come first serve. If you hail me from across the street & I stop; but someone else runs in before you get there...your loss. Time is money. Sure I want to be nice/cordial as possible but I gotta make moves.

This dude & his peeps get in and take me to 34th and 3rd from 11th and 1st. One of them asks me what my favorite 80s song is. I can't come up with any right now because the question came from left field. He asks me when I was born (1985) and the response: "WOW I thought I was young..I was born in 1981." Ohhh. Anyway, he tells me he went to NYU for graduate school and I tell him I went for my undergrad..but I'm jealous because he went to school at UMiami from 2000-2004. Talk about the football team for a bit & just how sick the 2001 squad was. He tells me that they're hella chill guys (I had a co-worker tell me the same thing about the football players while he was at The U also so it must be a trend).

One of the last groups of people I pick up were these Spanish peeps comin from Webster Hall. I immediately thought trouble but they asked to go to Penn Station. The 6 of em pack into my van. No they weren't goin to mow anyone's lawn. Big Pimpin comes on the radio & they tell me to blast it and they start singin the lyrics. I do too, and the guy in front goes "Hell yeah!" lmfaooo. They give me $10 on an $8.30.

I hit my goal around 2am & I see one of my boys standin outside of Nevada Smiths so I say fuck it lemme park & chill for a hot minute. Obviously I get asked if I have the cab on me or not. I do. One of my boys and his girlfriend ask for a ride to Brooklyn and they got it. Knowin I don't work for free, they get the ride and even tip me 25%. Life is good. I can go home in peace.

Drunky Saturdays begin at 415pm EDT so this should be good. And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/18/10).

2010-03-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

Long-haul Thursdays were back at it again. It never fails...to the point where I ended my shift at midnight because I reached my goal, plus I got home at 4 last night and "didn't have enough sleep." I did sleep 6 hours but better safe than sorry.

My first passengers set a record for my most expensive trip. They were goin to this hotel in Jersey City from JFK ($94+tip= $100). The main thing that sucked about it was that I took the Lincoln instead of the Holland. My rate book friggin told me to take the former...even though I had a feeling it was the latter. He had no idea where it really was either so I had to ask a couple of people when I actually got to Jersey...but I eventually found it. The hotel was basically in "Newport".

I don't have anything bad to say about anyone today...with the brief exception of my final passenger who stayed on the phone for 3 minutes after I arrived at his stop (Grand Central Terminal). Twiddling my thumbs he finally tells me to go to LaGuardia. That's fine by me ($30+toll+tip= $43).

This black chick I pick her up around East Broadway & she got me goin to Alphabet City (7th btw B and C). Chill chick with a tongue ring lalalal. She tells me about the whole cabbies vs. niggas spiel which I obviously know and tells me about how she just moved from the BK out here. Nothin too crazy. She didn't tip like an average niggaette either. Her daughter who's probably 14-15? is waitin for her outside the apartment and the chick tells me that "my daughter think you look kinda cute." What I do?? Must be the fresh shapeup...or maybe because the sun went down. Either way.

There's always somethin about blondes and myself. Am I the new-era Tiger Woods of cabbies? Anyhow, this blonde tall sexpot comes in and takes me to the Upper East Side. She gets friendly & wants to start a conversation which I have no problem with. She was one of those chicks who you can tell loves her hairspray because I got it mixed up with a Glade Plug-In. The whole "taxi scam" story is discussed and I break it down to her. I even break down how most cabbies are treated like slaves by their garage owners which explains why some of them have done so (I'll explain this in a future post). She feels bad. I learn she's from Jersey. I coulda brought up the whole spiel about the woman there beggin to be the fattest in the world but I had forgotten. One of these days I'ma cop digits on the job. That day is still not today but she did tip $3 on a $10 ride.

I still can't get over how nice people were today. The fuck ha. Then again I didn't stay late enough tonight to pick up any drunkards. This most likely changes tomm beginning at 415pm EDT. I don't know if I'll get this lucky again.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (the passenger remix).

2010-03-18T01:30:00.000-07:00

Today was my day off so this was my chance to put my fellow cabbies to the test.

First guy passed. I actually got picked up immediately (it was a Haitian I'm assuming) and went to my spot without incident. I gave him $5.10+tip=$7 because I know my role.

Second guy I went from Nevadas to Penn Station. He does a good job but I do notice that the taxi TV is broken. I should smell what that means but I'm gonna attempt to be a grade A jackass. I can't even do that. There's a Chase bank on 32nd and 7th ave and I tell the muh fuh to drop me off on the north side of 31st and 7th. He TURNS LEFT AND GOES SOUTH. I don't have a Capital One account you jackass. His credit card machine is "broken" and in fact it actually is because I couldn't touch the screen. But I know the whole situation. Capital One charges me $2.75 to use their machine. I gave him $8.30+tip=$10 but to never do that BS again because I drive a cab. He goes oh.

I know, not entertaining whatsoever but this was the muh fuh remix.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/16/10).

2010-03-16T21:51:00.000-07:00

The tables turned today. The weather was much nicer...and most people were likewise; but every dog tries to ruin your day. Hell, even I made mistakes. Shit.

My first passengers of the day didn't speak a lick of English. They must have came from the Dominican Republic or some shit and were headin to the Rockaways. Muy bueno. I had never got on the Cross Bay Bridge before and this was actually my first time driving past Howard Beach. My window was down but I should have rolled that bitch up just in case someone was thinkin about lynchin me. It's 2010 though not 1990. In another shocker, the fare was $32 and the guy just gave me $40 and told me to keep it. Gracias senor. I'm not gonna lie my eyes bugged out when I got back to the car.

After I dropped off some folk by Madison Square Garden, someone asked me where the Continental Airlines Arena was. They wanted to see the Nets game. If he wasn't a tourist I woulda pfffft lmfao'd at him directly. I still did this, albeit mentally. I later told him it was a little under 20 minutes via taxi.

Everything is chill until I pick up these 4 sassy broads & their guy that they were chillin with. Go figure the guy sits in the front. Fuck my life. Anyway they were goin to the Metropolitan Museum of Art on 53rd btw 5th and 6th. I wanted to make a right on Madison because 53rd goes east-west but you can't make a right between 7am-7pm. It was 656pm. This set the stage for this Kimbo Slice/Freeway crossbred nigga on a Harley Davidson & my showdown. I inadvertently cut him off because I was tryin to avoid shit...but I will take the blame. He goes "you saw me right?" I look forward even tho I heard him. We both get caught at a red. Kimbo pulls to my side & says "I should punch you right in your fuckin mouth." Oh really?? But since I have much more at stake here, the nigga moment is about to be deaded. I tell dude to calm down it's not that serious...I saw you but I cut you off my bad whatever. He says some shit about "Don't play dumb." Meh.

I'll take the L on that one I got got. But lemme tell you somethin, it's pretty easy to talk tough when on a motorcycle & having free range of motion vs. someone inside a cab. It's also pretty easy to pop off when you don't have much to lose while I have EVERYTHING to lose and really nothin to gain. He'd prob beat me up pretty good, wouldn't lie...looked like a dude who'd want to get into fights. At the end of the day though, I'm workin. No need to get into a verbal joust & feed the monkey more bananas so he can power up.

I took another L later on in the day when Rex Ryan in 15 years (if the Lap Band fails) came in my cab wantin to go to 90th and Riverside Drive. I got stuck in traffic on 42nd street for a bit...but it turned out to be because a bus stalled. Otherwise, it was pretty smooth sailing. I got $20 from him but then of course AS HE'S GETTIN OUT that's when he wants to get smart and say "bad idea taking 42nd street across." Just as I was about to say "oh, what should I have taken instead then?" the door closes. Smart ass. He was right though in that I should have taken 6th avenue up to 59th; go up Broadway to Amsterdam and then turn left on 89th street. Might have been better. BUT had the bus never been stalled on 42...all bets would have been off so shut the FUCK up. People are too busy wanting to be heard, and then they wonder why they're a part of the herd. Fuckin sheep.

I was in an ornery mood after that one for a while but ultimately I calmed down. The thing that made me go hmm today was these cougar broads & sidekick who get in my cab on 3nd avenue and 6th street. I have to ask these fucks 3x where they're going. St. Mark's between 2nd and 3rd. We're here already. "No fucking way are you serious I'm so sorry." in an Irish accent. I wasn't sorry when even though it was a $3.90 ride I got $6. I almost stood up and Riverdance'd.

Times are rough if you don't have $5 in your pocket so you gotta pay for that ride via credit card SMFH. Plus when the broad said 7th and Bleeker you shoulda heard her voice snap crackle & pop at Bleeker I thought she was havin a sex change on the spot.

I'm down in Chinatown cruisin when some broad sticks her hand out like a zombie on Resident Evil to hail my cab. Sheesh. She has like 4 huge boxes that her and her boyfriend need to put in my van. The boyfriend is being a MAYNE and is puttin everything in. It looks like one of those Lowe's Home Improvement commercials with the girl at the end lookin so appreciative. I drop them off & help them with some of the boxes which ruins the feel of that commercial scene I'm sorry. Guess it's more like Home Depot. You don't see black people in Lowe's commercials.

This West African gets in my cab carryin boxes. I thought that was his hidden stash of bootleg True Religions & Air Force 1s initially. He went back to the Hilton on "Avenue of the Americas" I've never heard someone call 6th avenue that before ha. He gives me $8.75 on an $8.70 ride. I knew better. I was about to get myself some chicken & rice thereafter at the spot (since it's on 53rd and 6th) but I take this guy who I thought told me 88th street & Madison. Nope. 88 Madison Avenue. Fuck my life. I did him a favor though I turned off the meter when it got to $9. But not before driving up to 88th and Madison first. 88 Madison Avenue is on 28th street. Ugh. That ride threw me off my rhythm & I didn't pick up anyone else the rest of the night.

If yall were wonderin what my opinions on people tippin today was...I was very impressed. I guess the UV Rays stimulate brain function. Mine today however, not so much but it happens. Next time: Thursday 415pm EDT. Bout to get my inner nigga mick on tomorrow.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (Moments I Forgot to Mention).

2010-03-16T00:23:00.000-07:00

I deal with so many muh fuhs out there that sometimes I forget some shit only for those memories to resurface.

The same people from Saturday night with the DK-plus sized fella askin about porn...I said the word "yall" and one of the dudes assumes I'm not from around here. I laugh at him and ask him where you think I'm from?? His first guess is Texas. WTF?? Do I have a southern drawl or somethin?? You tryna call me Mike Jones? SMFH. Anyway, he goes on to say "I'd figure you'd say "yous guys."" Hold that thought. When's the last time you heard a black person say "yous guys?" I love my Italian people, I have a fetish for Italian girls, I love goin to Mulberry Street every now and feel like the Token Mafioso...but come on.

The drunk kid who blasts my radio thinkin it was Funkmaster Flex...his boy first said I looked like Rick Ross. (50% combo hit). Then he said scratch that...more like Timbaland (Fatality). Fuck my life.

Why in God's name would you hail a cab on the OPPOSITE corner when you want to go one-way down that same fuckin street? These Spanish people I swear. I pick them up & they expect me to cut through FOUR lanes to make a right turn on Houston Street. I subliminally shitted on them though, when they got out the cab and gave me a $10 on a $5.60 fare...they asked me for $4 back and I said "Heh heh I figured." It went over her head like a Jamarcus Russell 5 yard pass.

This one dude that took me to Brooklyn Heights...I swear I never seen a white person run so fast. I thought he was gettin chased in the safari by a lion. I was on the FAR right side of Houston Street and he comes SPRINTING from I'd say 70 yards away running across 7 lanes (it was a red light). Usain Bolt would have been jealous & might have lost to this guy. I didn't even get a chance to move.

Yeah that's it for now on these lost sagas. New shift tomorrow beginning at 415pm EDT chillin at the JFK Airport lot (where yes there's a place where Muslims can pray to the East to Allah but what about if I want to kneel down & pray to God?? I can't. I lose.)

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/14/10).

2010-03-14T22:41:00.001-07:00

Some cab drivers have crossover moves that would make Allen Iverson jealous. This one muh fuh comes from the middle lane ALL the way to the right lane JUST to pick up someone and I nearly annihilated his vehicle. Fortunately I wasn't goin too fast but DEAR GOD. Then this simpleton in a regular van thinks it's a great idea to make a right turn on the 2nd to right lane as I'm tryin to go straight.

I'm not gonna front, when this Asian couple got into my van for some reason I thought to myself if they're havin sex that it would basically be a Japanese Anime porn in real life. Probably. Imagine Chun-Li of Street Fighter havin an orgasm. I have too much time on my hands sigh.

This dude was talkin to his date (I don't think him and the chick he was with were official or anything) and he said Snooki was from New Jersey. The girl he was with said she's never been to Jersey and she hates the show. They make out. I make out with a 20 cent tip. I made a U-Turn to pick up these clowns in Bill Clinton Harlem. I deserve better.

These 2 gay brothas get in my cab goin to one of their lairs...8th avenue and 23rd street. One was talkin about dance choreography for a bit or some shit. The other one's laugh was a giggle. It happens. Later on in the night I pick up these 2 older gay folk. One of em seemed to be upset about how his night was ruined. Yes, he did an "ohhh". I turned off my hearing after all that but yes they did cheek kiss. I turned the other cheek. I then realized I can't do that I have to turn my entire head. He called his friend baby. I can't discriminate. Gay people's money is money too.

I passed another brotha by mistake today. This time it was because by the time I was able to get to the right lane I was too far & stumbled upon these white girls. Let it snow. The brotha did get his cab though but I felt bad. I promise.

Lemme tell you somethin...GET THE FUCK OFF THE PHONE WHEN I'M AT YOUR STOP & PAY UP. Time is money. You'd probably get all pissy if I was textin at a green light so what makes you think I'm gonna kool-aid smile and wait for you to finish textin. This broad last night did this and this dude does it tonight.

My favorite person of the day however was this cute ass chick on 57th and 2nd avenue. Some jackass made me miss the light...but then I saw the white. She was goin by 16th street & Union Square West. Then my dream came true, she wanted to put on makeup & sit in the front with me. Jackpot. We start conversin and do so for the whole ride. She's from Denver & was visiting some of her homegirls. She got a kid who's about to be two years old. She's single. I'm single. She's 25. I'm 25. This is too good to be true, I am lust-smitten. Then she pays me $15 on a $9 fare. The dream ends when she gets out and tells me to take care and have a good night. Damn. I wanna go to Denver now; apparently it's the Mile High City but their brains seem to flow better even with the thinner air.

DK's Cab-Ulary: Suckahhh- I say this when I either a) cut in front of someone to get a passenger or b) when the passenger goes in my cab rather than some other dude's. I'm not gonna cut through 3 lanes of traffic no, maybe one or two, but I won't OD and make someone see their life flash before their eyes. This ain't ABC. B happened twice actually. The first time with the semi-dramatic gay dude & his "baby" because after I dropped off that aforementioned Asian couple they hailed a cab & this guy was ready to get them. They saw my van. I win. The latter was kinda fucked up though. At Penn Station there's a taxi stand and I'm not on it; I'm waiting at a light. This broad says fuck those fellas waiting at the taxi stand & gets in my cab because I can make a left on 32nd street. They can't. Suckahhhhs.

Oh yeah I forgot the dumbass of the day. I pick up these 2 broads from Whole Foods going to 3rd street between Avenues A and B. When I get to Avenue B and 3rd street I know I'm supposed to take a left. The Asian chick goes "make a left here." I had my blinker on from jump you dumbass. I know you want to be Google Maps but your job is to sit down & shut up unless asked. Why do Asians give me the hardest time? Is it because they have natural tunnel vision?

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/13/10).

2010-03-14T01:36:00.001-08:00

One of my best childhood friends had his birthday party tonight at Promenade. I had to work tonight. I lose.

On days like this one where the winds are HOWLING (wind gusts over 65 is absurd) and rain coming down in sheets...some people will test your patience. This asian broad for example asks me to drop her off at 68th and 1st (or so I thought- but she meant 60th). She goes "get to your right, your far right." I'm doing this. "YOUR FAR RIGHT"...I heard you. I pull over she pays good enough but that's not the point. She then just sits there. "My receipt??" Ohh. Say somethin earlier bitch I'm not a 3rd grade teacher. Competent people will tell me to give them the receipt right after they finish paying. She snatches the receipt from my hand & slams the door.

This Mexican dude who hails the cab with his hand stickin out like a figure skater tryin to twirl (and it makes sense since he's wearing a scarf) tells me "You gotta take me to Brooklyn 49th street & 5th avenue." I don't gotta do shit.

Intermission (DK's Cab-Ulary): Buzzkill Trip- a trip that takes you hella out of your way from where most people are at. For example, a trip to Sunset Park at midnight on a Saturday night is NOT ideal. The fare will be good...but I have to drive quite a while without pickin up anyone.

Anyway, this muh fuh starts talkin to himself in Spanish. It sounded like he was cryin for a split second too. It seemed like somethin out of Telemundo. He slides my mini-mirror closed & thinks that I can't hear him talkin to himself. $28+tip= $30 trip but that dude worried me.

These NYJew broads (I knew because they were goin to 3rd North) pay me $8 on a $7.90 fare. NYJew lives to its moniker. Someone else tips me 50 cents on the credit card machine. One of these days I'ma take a picture of that shit because it looks hella humorous. The grade A jackass of the day however was this guy waiting for his girlfriend to try & slide my door close...and when she couldn't do it, instead of him offering to help her I had to do it for her. The fact she paid too is neither here nor there but man up.

The only two radio stations I USUALLY have it on are Hot 97 and Power 105 because they keep me sane. Today was probably the first time I actually had people request me to change the stations. This well-dressed African-American male who had me take him to Harlem told me to switch the station because of Lil Wayne. EH-EMMM tru indeed...put it on Z100..doesn't work either, so I just turn it way down. He then goes on a schlep about how he thinks rap music nowadays is garbage, etc nothing that I haven't heard before and gives me some black history lessons. You're a month late brotha, nah I'm kiddin it was legit shit. Then he turns the conversation religious. Gulp. It was too deep for my liking but he gave me a business card that had a couple of websites where I could check out what he was talkin about. He basically told me that Satan needs company since misery loves company. Also, about how the Middle East used to be Northeast Africa until they formed a river. Blew my mind. And he actually tipped well ($3 on a $16 trip). This other broad who took me to Queens wanted me to put "more mellow music" on. I put it on 88.9 or some shit and they were playing jazz I believe. Not bad. We had a short conversation about how radio stations here suck and that I should listen to 93.9FM. Maybe one day. She tipped well too. And then...

You get the white guy who loves his rap music. I had it on Power 105 and he told me I MUST put on Hot 97 because Funkmaster Flex is the best DJ out there bar none. He said that, not me (drops bomb). Funk Flex comes on on Saturdays between 7 and 11pm. It's 1am and the kid thinks it's Funk Flex (it's really DJ Big Ben though) but I gotta let the hella inebriated kid live. He blasts the music like the porch monkey from the other day did. His cronies tho givin me $4 on a $6 trip fuck it do whatever you want. A couple of other people who get in my cab were appreciative of what I was blastin in the cab. I can't take all the credit for it tho ha. This one guy thought I should be a DJ.

I've had maybe 3 couples have makeout sessions in my cab & each time they've tipped 50 cents or less. This isn't a fuckin bordello.

This dude even bigger than myself gets in with his friends & asks jokingly if I have porno. I wouldn't want dudes wackin off to porno in my cab. Females can rub one out at anytime however.

I got my long-awaited inebriated as fuck chick argument that I'd been longing for. All I had to do was go to McFaddens. This cute chick & her aight friend get in my cab and initially they tell me to go to some place where upon further review is in Bedford-Stuyvasant. "I'm your best friend I won't let you go alone!!" "I'm fine I'm SERIOUS!!" you know that kinda ordeal. The dude apparently they were with was like "You leavin like that, you're kidding me?!" Yep. He freaks out. She decides that she's just gonna go to Grand Central Terminal & call it a day and tells me her story. Basically, she was in a seven year relationship & the dude cheated on her. Ever since then, she has trust issues. The dude she was dating tonight made out with her best friend. Yeah, that one that she told to get out the cab. Did I mention it was that chick's birthday too? What a present eh? She was relatively calm all things considered. I told her everything will be okay and she'll be okay. She smiled. I wanted to take her home to my mom her smile was adorable. I would have done the whole hold hand thing but that woulda been OD.

Lastly, I understand how hard it is to find a cab on Saturday night. I've been there & had to get on a dreaded livery cab to go to Penn Station last week for instance. But it is NOT OKAY to stand on a lane or 2 of traffic and try to hail one down when I'm speedin down at 30mph. I don't wanna lay someone out. If my medallion light is OFF then I have a passenger so get the fuck out the way. This broad starts boogin on the street; my steering wheel coulda did the Harlem Shake but this isn't Grand Theft Auto.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/12/10).

2010-03-13T01:07:00.000-08:00

It's Fridayyy nightttt and people just got paid. So yeah, let's everyone fuckin give me $20 bills and take all my muh fuckin change. Segue:

I started later than usual today because my partner-in-crime who drives the cab in the early shift didn't finish until around 530 (2 hours late). My first trip was a "shorty" to the infamous East New York section of Brooklyn. Sigh. Last time I was around there I got a $2 tip on a $33 ride so I wasn't expectin shit this time. $24+$1= $25 gimme $5 back. Negrodamus wins. Flawless Victory.

The character of the day however came on my second ride. This Moroccan dude who just flew in from Paris is all excited about comin to "my favorite city in di whole entire world NEW YORK." Aww. Anyway, he asks me if I like rap music (stereotype) and yes I do. He tells me some shit about how he is gonna meet P. Diddy this week for a meeting because he sent a CD in and he supposedly liked it. Whether or not this story is true it was entertaining to hear him talk about how he quit drinkin 3 years ago...but all he ever drank was wine & champagne anyway "it make me sleepy." Yeah no shit. The young fella went to talk about how his voice "can sound like a man or woman" ummm okay. Then he asks me "I hear NY women aren't that hard." No they're not when you have an accent from another country. French people don't tip & he was no exception.

Intermission: Why do Filet-O-Fishes at McDonalds only contain a half of a slice of cheese?

After droppin off a random broad, these ladies tryna go to Hunts Point in the Bronx (FUCK THAT) ask how much a cab would cost. $30-$40 and no you cannot pay in half cash half food stamps. These 2 dudes get in the cab and say "my bad for cockblockin you". Cockblockin what ha?

This broad & her male cronies get in my cab to go to Williamsburg. She hops in the front & starts controllin my fuckin radio! What is this?? DJ Snowflake in the house? She puts it on a Spanish station. They paid well tho so I let it rock but what in the fidduckkkk.

I'm not gonna front, I saw a brotha hail a cab & I passed him by. My excuse though was I was on the other side of the street.

Why is it that when I mention driving a cab because "you gotta do what you gotta do" when I'm talkin to people they pull the "you know, I was just talkin to someone about that kinda stuff.." line? Happened to me twice. Both with blonde taken females sigh. The first one though was intrigued about me volunteering with Music For Tomorrow. The second chick was a waitress. Then she mentioned the word boyfriend.

I had to break change & I was around the Chelsea area. You know what that has the potential to mean. Yes, I picked up 2 males whose sexual preference was male and they were going to a bar called POSH on 51st street & 9th avenue. I wish I was makin that shit up. You learn somethin new everyday.

Drew Carey's ugly step-brother gets in my cab but then tells me he has to make a stop on 2nd avenue & 14th street. I figured he was gonna get food...but he went to the DVD store. WTF?? No it was not the XXX shop, though I do not know if they have a section. I don't think I would want to know anyway.

The temptation to mack it to chicks in the cab increases everyday.

Hot Spots of the Day: 6th and 7th avenues. Always poppin with ppl desperate for cabs.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 3/11/10).

2010-03-11T23:37:00.000-08:00

Thursdays apparently are my days where I don't make too many trips...but the ones that I have are relatively long.

I always smell the grade A jackasses from as soon as I get in my cab. If they have an accent that is not American nor British...I will expect a dollar tip at the maximum. This Asian broad who hops in my cab out of nowhere after I dropped somebody else off tells me to take her to "Gran CentraTerminal" from 34th and 6th. Fair enough. The fare comes out to $6. She gives me a $10. "Gimme-a-fo-dollars-back" Fuck out my cab bitch.

The guy right after her tells me to take him to 640 3rd avenue from there...except um, it's 2 and a half blocks away dawg. He starts laughing and gives me $6.

A few passengers later I pick up this Italian fella wantin to go down to this restaurant on Mott between Prince & Spring streets. This monster $15.50 fare from 57th and Park Avenue is rewarded by a fabulous 50 cent tip.

The next person I pick up is a Caribbean-American woman wanting to go to Queens. Oh boy was my thoughts immediately. The oh boy however turned into an oh shit when she actually left me a $6 tip on a $27. It got suspect for a quick second because she got out the cab to pick up her boys (turned out to be sons) but I dropped them off 4 blocks later.

The person of the day however was this fella goin to Floral Park right across the border in Nassau from LaGuardia Airport. A mean $37 cab ride was given a $10 tip. I like your style sir.

The next to last person of the day tho was prob my most interestin character because he's this typical nigga that I'd see who'd be lurkin at Webster Hall on a Saturday night or some shit. First the dude hails a cab without lookin, which I thought was weird. Then he immediately asks me "Fam why it say an extra dollar...it's 'posed to be fiddy cent." Well dawg...it USED to be 50 cents and it still says it ON the cab...but there's an MTA tax now. "When that start, couple hours ago?? It was 50 cent earlier I been on 3 cabs tonight fam." Ha yeah aight nigga. Then..."yo fam whats good wit these lights why they on?" I go to turn them off..but I also realized that one of my doors wasn't closed properly (more on that in a minute). As always, I got the radio on Hot 97 & my dude DJ Kay Slay. "Turn that up fam." Not surprised. He tells me to turn it up twice more. Fair enough. Fare comes out to $9.90 and quite frankly I thought this simple nigga was gonna hop out the cab, turn his swag on take a look at me n say whats good now. Nope he gives me a $20, I give him back $10 and he gets out. Fuck, I should have given him the extra dime too.

I drive a van. I don't understand what's so fuckin complex about closing/opening a slide door. "Ugh this door is so hard to slideeeee." They teach you as a kid right after you take your diapers off that you pull towards you to open. Then you pull to the left to the left and VOILA MUH FUCKAAAAA. To close, pull towards you & pull to the right BOOM. Simple. SMFH.

And so on.

DK Taxi Cab Chronicles.

2010-03-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the slackin lately ha. To be honest, as the honeymoon phase of the job has definitely ended...I don't have as many good tales to tell yall. I didn't work Saturday because I was in Hoboken so I don't have any drunk tales like that. Except for my last cab ride Friday night.

Friday was in general hella frustrating. City traffic gets on my last nerves & combine that with pedestrians feeling that they can walk where they want when they want, it compounds the situation. Driving down the west side on 9th avenue I find this guy barely standing & tryin to hail a cab. I stop & pull over to ask where he's tryin to go. Barely competent he tells me "Bruhklynn. Church mm McDonuld". Seeing that it was almost midnight & I needed to get a decent amount of sleep before wakin up hella early the next morning I go for it. He leans over like he's been shot & I ask him if he's gonna throw up. He gets pissed and goes "what are ya, crazy?! I don't throw up!" Trust me, the last thing I need is for a muh fucka to throw up on my shit. As I'm on the BQE the dude starts to hiccup which is NIGHTMARES. No throw-up though. I start to mutter lyrics playin on the radio & I think he tells me to shut the fuck up LMFAO. Either that, or he was havin a bad dream. After finally droppin him off at his stop, it was $37. The dude gives me $40...but then tells me to wait. He pulls out another $10...then another $5. Takes a good five minutes to look for his phone & tells me to call it. The phone is in his pocket. He gives me another $2. God bless that man lmfao.

I would say about 8 out of every ten people understand the art of tipping in the city. When you encounter those that have NO IDEA about it...it confounds the crap out of me. The Grade A Jackass of the past week and a half however goes to this older gentleman of Caucasian decent whom I picked up around Times Square to take back around NYU campus. Talkin on his phone, all that good shit whatever that's fine. Total is $8.80 and he gives me a $10. No problem..except upon another look he wants a dollar back. So, a TWENTY CENT TIP?? The HELL am I gonna do with that ha? The next passenger that does that to me I swear I will give them their full change because I have no use for the twenty cents. Of course, I have to do it in a nice way or else I can be reported. I hate bashing my own people but once again I get another example as to why cabbies pass by African-American people. This well-dressed, educated lookin fella (albeit he could have passed for Farnsworth Bentley's dad) takes me to the Upper East Side around 72nd street from Bryant Park. No problem. He complains about the traffic on 3rd avenue and as to why I didn't take 1st avenue.
1) If I took 1st avenue up you'd have to pay an extra 40 cents for goin crosstown a block unnecessarily.
2) It's the same shit traffic-wise dealing with the Queensboro Bridge.
His quote "Guess we're gonna be stuck here for a little bit." Yes and then 15 seconds later traffic is flowing nicely. His ride came out to around $11 or so and he pays by credit card. Tip: $0.75. LOSS. For a fella who has a doorman open up my fuckin cab door you could do better you house nigga. I laughed my ass off before makin my U-Turn.

I swear too, some of these conversations these clowns have with each other entertain me. I didn't mention this before but the last Saturday I drove these four above-average lookin females get in my cab to go to a bar. All I can overhear them say is their yearning to make out with someone/break dry spells. Man, if it was that easy for dudes to decide who they wanna hook up with. As an upstanding gentleman & doing my job I can't intervene from left field but DEAR GOD it's tempting.

And so on.

Hoboken 2010 Review.

2010-03-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

This year was the first year that I really had a chance to take the Hoboken St. Patrick's day experience in. Last year, I didn't get there until 430 and didn't get inside a bar until 7. I hopped on the 853am LIRR to Penn Station & got on the PATH (already packed as fuck) around 930ish. After takin a 15 minute walk which I saw already one accident with this guy crashin his car into a pole...I went to my first house party. Even though it was 1015am, I was already 2 hours behind them ha. It was chill, played some beer pong & met some new people because I only knew two people at the party initially. Around 1230 or so we were forced out because this lady upstairs kept complaining that we were makin too much noise and by then a few of my other boys came through. I split with the original group- some of whom went to the parade, others went to a bar I believe- and headed over to another house party. This one was a bit better...although it was mainly standin around type shit. However, about an hour into our stay we were forced to leave because the cops had to break it up. I think some schmuck had passed out upstairs or some shit. At this point I wouldn't have minded goin to a bar & paying the ridiculous $20 cover just to get inside but the fellas wanted to head back to Manhattan so it was whatever.

Overall...it wasn't that bad. My mojo is kind of returning & I did get a couple facebook request opportunities ha so in that retrospect it was good. I feel however that somethin was missing. The bouncing around was a tad annoying also. A good time...was it as fun as last year though? I can't necessarily say that BUT...it got the job done so. Overall Grade: B

And so on.

Random Thought of the Day.

2010-03-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

The scary & unique thing about life is that the same person that has absolutely no appeal to you may be the perfect person to someone else. This perplexes the shit out of us as bling attracts bling and can blind us..or whatever else the cause. Even if you think someone is dumb as rocks to someone else they may be their Confucius. Also although I love myself a fat ass & some athletic legs, if her brain is anorexic with knowledge she is nothin more than high fructose corn syrup. Other girls who may not have that "5-star look" have 4-5 stars across the board...which is more than sufficient for me and if that makes her my "5-star chick" so be it. Besides, I'd rather have an under-the-radar girl than the one dudes buy cases of Sprite for because they cannot obey their thirst.

Then you get into that whole "I'm so over it" nonsense when it never happens. We give people more chances than they deserve sometimes because they're bangin or they got that $$ & you're afraid to lose that. But when that happens- you become nothing more than someone walkin w/invisible shackles harvesting their plantation (ego). And ENOUGH with the "he's perfect...she's perfect" nonsense. NO ONE IS! You're gonna turn your back on someone because they're ALMOST perfect?? It's a matter of which flaws in that person are fatal and which ones you're willing to put forth. Make the right choices.

And so on.

The Reasons Why Cabbies Don't Pick Up Black Folk.

2010-03-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

I used to be hella pissed when a cabbie would pass me by. The whole "cabbies are racist" myth is a myth...however, there are a few things that they take into consideration.

1) Particularly on Friday & Saturday nights where hella money is to be had driving in Manhattan...nothing is worse than to be taken out of the borough & to go deep into Brooklyn for example. Yes you can get a good $25-$30 fare...but in that same stretch of time, a cabbie can pick up 3-4 people and make that money if not more. It is technically illegal for a cab driver to ask where someone is going and to refuse a fare if it's anywhere in the five boros, Nassau or Westchester UNLESS they are off-duty. I would say when I hailed cabs in the past...2 times out of 3 I was asked before I could open the door where I was going (Penn Station) and only then was I allowed in.

2) To compound that...cabbies are afraid that we will a) hop out without paying, b) underpay or c) leave a minuscule tip. One bad experience can spoil the entire perception.

Being on the driver's side of the spectrum...I can feel them to an extent...even though it's fucked up.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/26-2/28/10).

2010-03-01T15:35:00.000-08:00

The snowstorm was a boon for me this weekend since everybody decided to be out and about more than usual.

Story of the Weekend: I pick up these two chicks from the Lower East Side (Ludlow & Stanton streets) and they ask me how much it costs to get to West Broadway because they supposedly only have $20. I tell them it's about $8 and they get in the van. I overhear the brunette tellin the blonde one how much of a turn-on it is to be fuckin one of her other friend's husbands even though she knows it's bad. I'm Kanye-Shruggin and the blonde goes "this is so a taxi cab confessional." The blonde one goes on to tell me that although she's married to a guy...that she's bi-sexual and has a girl-guy like ratio of 70%-30%. I wonder what her husband thinks about that ha. They get out of my cab & the blonde gives me four $2 bills and for me to keep the change...which would have been a dime SMH.

While most of the people who get in my cab talk amongst themselves you'll have quite a few that will. This one older lady talked to me about Cash Cab & Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. This openly gay Italian guy that took me to Washington Heights from Houston Street ($27+tip= $30) preached to me about how people don't have their priorities straight anymore amongst other things. This cougar whose boyfriend plays in a band talked to me about how facebook is the devil. A group of 5 girls from the UK that I picked up on Park Avenue wanted to find a place in Greenwich Village where they played 80s music...I did not know. But they gave me advice on how long you should take to call a girl (24 hours). And another guy from the UK was curious to know why cabbies in NYC drive so ruthlessly and aggressively and I broke it down to him.

Tippers of the Weekend:
- A JFK to Manhattan Trip ($45+tip= $55)
- A JFK to Manhattan Trip ($50+tip= $58)
- Trip to Greenwich Village ($13.50+tip= $20)
- A JFK to Manhattan Trip ($50+tip= $57...although they were European and didn't actually mean to give me that tip).

Grade A Jackasses of the Weekend:
- This dumb broad not knowing her math and only giving me $5 on a $5.50 fare.
- The broads who gave me the four $2 bills mentioned above.
- Any non UK person from Europe who gets in your cab will not tip. Per example- these 2 German dudes tell me they need to go to 80th street...but you know how it goes it sounds like EIGHTTEEN so that's where I go & that forces me to waste my time.
- This Ecuadorian couple I pick up from Times Square to drop off in Queens give me a $1 tip.
- Ditto with this group of 3 who I pick up from Houston Street on Saturday night.

If you don't know...now you know: When you pay in cash..the cabbie keeps everything outside of the 50 cent MTA surcharge & whatever tolls. However if you want to be an ass or if you think he's one...if you pay with credit card, the credit card company takes a portion of the fare. So if you pay for a $6 fare and tip a dollar...the cabbie will only see the $6.

Thing that made me go hmm: I picked up this white kid from Park Avenue South which took me towards the East Village again. I have DJ Kay Slay on and he's playin some Cam'ron with Vado...and the kid tells me to "turn that shit up". I tried so hard not to have a stunned look on my face.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/21/10).

2010-02-21T22:39:00.001-08:00

Sundays. The so-called "day of rest". Well not for me...besides I've had way too many of those to care to count ha. I started out kinda late today, I'd say around 4pm and ended my shift at 1130pm.

Story of the Day: I arrive at the cabbie parking lot at JFK. All cabs that want to pick up passengers from the airport must first report there & wait "on-line". This process could take 30-90 min depending on terminal activity. Not even a minute after I get to the lot, I see this Indian dude and this African dude explode out of their respective cabs. The Indian accuses the African of cutting in front of him (somewhere); and vice versa. The Indian dude is feenin to swing at the African who goes "c'mon you want some??" The African goes for a shin kick which missed which allowed a chance for the Indian to go for a punch. The cat-like reflexes of the African however allowed him to miss getting hit & the altercation was later squashed. I didn't have any popcorn.

Tippers of the Day: Two hella short rides which netted me $4.30+tip= $7 each. First, a father-daughter who wanted me to go from 74th street...to 82nd street. ON THE SAME AVENUE. Later on, this group of four that was over around 45th street and 7th avenue who wanted to go to Penn Station (34th street side) did the same shit.

Cheapskates of the Day: Right after my excursion to Penn Station I figured I'd wait there to pick up someone. Out comes this dude lookin like Rabbit from 8 Mile with a Yankee fitted on asking me to drop him off at Grand Central. $6.60+tip= $7 SMFH. My last ride of the day was an airport trip & I was blessed that it was going to Long Island (the only time you'll ever hear me say something good about LI really). This older broad who I had a pretty good conversation with apparently flew from Florida to Texas to Chicago to here all in one day and I dropped her off in Nassau County (Williston Park for my LI cats). $51.30+tip= $55. Things that make you go hmm, even though it wasn't the worst thing ever.

Grade A Jackass of the Day: Some woman & her son I pick them up on 72nd street and Amsterdam & they need to go crosstown. I made a small mistake not remembering where the 79th street transverse was (it goes to the West Side from 79th but goes to the East Side on 81st street) and the broad begins muttering as if it was the end of the world & I was lost or some shit. Her son corrected me & I made the necessary U-Turn to rectify the problem but I can clearly hear her bitchin about how she'd have to pay an extra 40 cents SHADDAPPP. As I apologized & told her it was my 3rd day she was like "oh great..." They were a weird one...first they were arguing to each other; then the broad was bitchin about some woman bc she can't hang out with the "crew" who have couples because her husband had passed so she's considered single. Strange shit that I could care less about. Anyhow, I get them to where I need to be and she asks me to turn on the back lights. I'm not 100% familiar with the cab so I didn't know where it was (I do now though). She gets uptight again. They give me 12 one dollar bills for a fare that was $9.90. The son says goodnight, the lady just gets out. As I'm situating myself for the next round I can hear her STILL bitchin over the small error I made. You'd think in a broad that looked like she was 60 that menopause would have set in by now...I guess the next generation of medicine is saying otherwise?

Aside from that, it wasn't all THAT eventful. I did get yet another JFK-Bronx trip which was $48+tip= $68 but it had zero drama. Sunday nights if you want action...hella lame, at least compared to the weekends. But hey.

And so on.

DK's Taxi Cab Chronicles (from 2/20/10).

2010-02-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

Saturday nights in the city are always on some next level crazy tip obviously. But now being a part-time cab driver...I notice this even more now. Hella money is out there to be made because something I've noticed over my first two days working is that people will come to the East Village from deep in the Upper East Side; resulting in $10+ cab rides every time. Here I'm basically gonna give you the story of the day, tipper of the day and the grade A jackass of the day.

Story of the day: Since I live about 10 minutes from JFK...it makes sense for me to start my trip from there. I'm sent to the Delta terminal but I go to the wrong one (there's two of them). Nevertheless, the dispatcher gives me this chick who's goin to the Bronx. Immediately I'm like fuckkk since driving-wise I'm hella unfamiliar with the BX so she's gonna have to give me directions. Apparently I'm goin towards the Bronx/Westchester border so that right there is gonna be some bread. She was comin in from Little Rock but describing the hell she was in bc she was staying in a small town on the extreme southern edge of the state. We actually have a pretty good convo about her dad abandoning her & her siblings but now that he's sick he's being more contrite, etc. Everything is all good...until I get to her & her husband's house. Peep this sketchiness:
- Her husband deadbolted the door so she couldn't get inside (she had house keys but not the keys to the deadbolt).
- She didn't have enough cash with her or a credit card (she was talkin about how if she carried her cards she would have o'ded on spendin while down in AR). Her husband was holdin on to them and he was takin the train back to the crib...so we had to wait for him to get there.
- When he finally did 45 minutes after I got to her house, he gave her her card...only for it to be declined. So now they had to pay with the cash that her husband was carrying.
-Final total: $63+ tip= $80.

Tipper of the day: After being sent to Brownsville, I went back to the airport & had to wait quite a while for the next set of passengers. I come across this couple that had been chillin in LAX for the past month or so and carried quite a bit of luggage. They were heading back to their apartment on the East Village...which at 1230 is EXACTLY where I wanted to be heading. After cruising & getting to the apartment in due time...I get $45+ tip= $60.

Grade A Jackass of the day: Really it's a tie. They did nothing wrong in terms of attitude or whatnot...it's just that the cheapness confounded me a bit. Group 1a goes to these 2 black women who were with 2 kids. I stop at Penn Station hopin to pick up some of those infamous B&T slores who are ready to head out. Just my luck I see these ladies walkin towards my cab carrying a suitcase. "Where are you going?" Them- "Brooklyn...Brownsville." For those familiar with the 5 boros...Brownsville is one of the 5 places you really DON'T want to be. The ride was for the most part smooth...but the broad tried questioning me as to why I went across 14th street instead of the West Side Highway. Um, it's pretty much the same shit & I actually saved you some time. Final total: $33+tip= $35. Cheap asses. And you wonder why cabs don't stop for us colored folks.
Person 1b was right after I had dropped off some Jersey slores ($7.50+tip=$10). This punk rocker lookin fella gets in my cab goin towards the Upper East Side. This mothafucka uses his credit card & gives me a 59 cent tip. SMFH.

Miscellaneous broad of the day: After my $60 cab ride, I get this drunk chick headin back to money-makin Park Avenue. She calls her boyfriend who answers (but apparently he hadn't been answering her calls all night or some shit). Look, if you and your significant other are gonna be partying at separate venues...you need to relax. She apparently began getting paranoid that he mighta been talkin to other chicks. She was beggin for him to go outside & have a real conversation with her...WTF? Then she was pleading for him to go home because she was in a cab alone and began crying. Rule #1 of my cab...there's no crying in that bitch. She gave me though $11+tip=$14 so I let her rock ha.

Overall, Saturday nights are an interesting cast of characters. You got the people who are doing the upper-class shit (going to see a show; coming from a wine tasting, etc.) and then you got the ones that just wanna PARTY. My final cab ride took me back to Brooklyn but this chick gave me $19+tip=$24 which is how it SHOULD be done you cheap ass Brownsville broads.

And so on.

Typing Etiquette.

2010-02-09T10:15:00.000-08:00

Since no one talks on the phone anymore really...I've decided to come up with my personal rules of textin/AIM'in/Facebook chattin or whatever.

1) Guys should NEVER use any emoticons if talkin to one another.
2) Women can use them freely.
3) If you're a guy & are talkin to a woman...the only two emoticons I tend to agree on using are the wink face and the stick-my-tongue out face.
4) A Q is NOT A FUCKIN G. It is "good morning" not "qood morninq" sweet Jesus.
5) If someone uses 5 words or less to answer shit on more than 3 consecutive responses...face it he or she does not want to talk to you at the moment.
6) "lol" is filler. If I say "ha" it serves the same purpose. Anything else like "lmao, rofl, haaaaa, etc" I'm actually laughin.
7) If I don't answer you right away it's because I'm legit busy doin something.
8) If I text someone & they don't answer right away...I don't try to full court press em & text 20 times before they finally answer. Wouldn't that scare you?
9) Shorthand is fine...just don't OD with it.
10) If you have a lot to say texting-wise especially if it's after 10pm & I'm at home...it's better suited that you call me or hit me up on skype (when I get my cam back).

Any others that you have feel free to add. DISCUSS.

And so on.

Super Bowl Prediction/Reasons to Root For or Against The Saints or Colts.

2010-02-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 1-1 both straight up & against the spread.
Overall: 4-6 straight up; 5-5 against the spread.

The Colts will definitely cover the 4.5 points...and make the game go over. The Saints thrive on turnovers, but they'll get one AT MOST on Sunday. With Dwight Freeney not at 100% due to him trippin over Mark Sanchez' leg (haa) it may slow down Indy's pass rush...but they're not predicated on one person & their overall team speed makes up for their anonymous defense.

Indianapolis 38 New Orleans 21 FINAL.

So you're probably wondering who I'm pullin for this Sunday. Although I'm pullin for the Saints since the Colts knocked my Jets out of the postseason and their guys had some parting shots afterwards which I didn't take too kindly...here are some reasons to root for these teams. Some of these are what I've heard from ppl too.

New Orleans:
Positives: First-Ever SB appearance; resurrection of a moribund franchise; Katrina; Drew Brees taking full advantage of reviving his career after being left for dead in San Diego; considered by many to be the new "America's Team"; vindication for Jeremy Shockey (depends on which way you wanna look at it tho); Jonathan Vilma (for me).
Negatives: Dirty as fuck defense; always having a feeling in the back of my head they're hella overrated for a 13-3 team; arguably the most bandwagon fans currently in the game waters down an otherwise great story.

Indianapolis:
Positives: Another SB for Peyton Manning will solidify his legacy even further in regards to being the greatest QB of this era...if not ever; the whole "black coach" thing with Jim Caldwell (I don't want to hear it...but hey, it's why my dad's rootin for em); Pierre Garcon (for me); don't have anyone on their squad who you can truly hate.
Negatives: They beat my boys & I honestly believe it was more us shooting ourselves in the foot than anything; I've grown to hate Clint Sessions; another Manning ring will lead to even more exposure of him on commercials than he already has.

If yall wanna add reasons; go right ahead...DISCUSS.

And so on.

NFL Conference Championship Bettors Guide.

2010-01-23T17:39:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 1-3 straight up; 2-2 against the spread.
Overall: 3-5 straight up; 4-4 against the spread.

New York Jets (+8) @ Indianapolis Colts: I could say so much about this game and break it down to a T...but I'm too lazy to and besides it has been reiterated time and time again. The Jets as I stated last week have only lost two games this year by double digits...meanwhile the Colts have six wins in double digits this year...however only two in their past 9 wins (including postseason; to BAL and DEN). It's gonna be tough for the Jets to really stop Peyton Manning who is the master of the chess game; and if the Jets are forced to play from behind it may get difficult. With that said, the Colts' fast D can be had and will be worn down by the Jets' O. It'll be close, but in the end my heart will be broken. By the way this is the first time in history that a conference championship game will be coached by 2 rookies (but really, Peyton Manning is the one in charge here). Indianapolis 20 NY Jets 16

Minnesota Vikings (+3.5) @ New Orleans Saints: The Saints had a virtuoso performance last week against Arizona; completely dissecting that sieve of a defense while keeping Kurt Warner & company out of sync. It'll be much tougher this week against a defense that also played flawlessly last week in Minnesota. The Vikings' D-Line completely dominated the Cowboys last week and if they can pressure Brees, it will get VERY interesting. Keep in mind although the Vikes are 4-4 on the road this year, they are 11-1 in games played indoors (9-0 at home; 2-1 on the road with the only loss at Arizona). The Superdome will prob be the most raucous it has ever been and if any other team was going there, I'd have the Saints easy. But with Brett Favre...ugh. Minnesota 34 New Orleans 27

And so on.

Haitian Earthquake & The Media.

2010-01-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

As everyone by now knows, Haiti was rocked with a 7.0 earthquake Tuesday afternoon...with subsequent aftershocks thereafter. For me, this hits about as close to home as 9/11 did since Haiti is the country where my parents & grandmother are from...as well as many of my fellow Haitian-Americans; a couple of whom are my childhood friends. The outreach has been massive (as with any tragedy of this magnitude) and it's much appreciated. But beyond all of this...there is one thing that disturbs me the most & that's them showing off the dead bodies laying on the street.

Now granted, the news is trying to tell a story & the more disturbing of an image they show the more sympathy. And I know that it's almost unavoidable all things considered. However, I thought that the US media (at least) doesn't show these things? You didn't see it in 9/11, the Indian Ocean Tsunami, Iran's earthquake, etc. Why is it now all of a sudden okay to show these kind of images like they did with Hurricane Katrina and now with this earthquake? Doesn't make sense to me. Yes I am riled up because those are my fellow Haitians so I do feel like it's a form of disrespect but either do that sensationalism shit with everything or don't do it at all. Since when was it okay to pick and choose?

Other random thoughts about it:
- I'm not even mad about the overflow of tragic stories, because people need to understand how this has affected the Haitian-American communities...especially in NYC, Boston and Miami where many of us reside.
- I can't complain about the response times for aid to come through. The disturbing things though to look for in the coming days & weeks are that an already desperate country that had little pre-disaster are gonna become 10x more so...and with little police/security this can get very ugly.
- For people on Twitter (per example) who complain about Haiti not being a trending topic at times; or not being at #1...sometimes it's okay to divert attention from a said disaster, even if it's for a few minutes. Plus, we get it. Donate, donate, donate.
- For people who have asked me about my family that lives out there, I don't know how they are but I do appreciate you asking me.
- Don't get me started on Rush Limbaugh & Pat Robertson because hey, they're just looking for attention and to push buttons. Remember, there's never a 100% wholly accepted opinion; regardless of how outlandish.

And so on.

NFL Divisional Playoffs Bettors Guide.

2010-01-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 2-2 straight up & against the spread.

Arizona Cardinals (+7) @ New Orleans Saints: Don't get it twisted here. The Saints are gonna be riled up playing in front of their home fans. They may have the rowdiest fans in the NFL. But if you think that warrants them being a touchdown favorite you are sadly mistaken. The Saints are reeling; offensively they've been slowing down...while their D hasn't been forcing as many turnovers & big momentum-changing plays as they were earlier in the year. The LAST QB you want to face is Kurt Warner. Don't look into the Cards not having Boldin...last week proved they don't need him with Early Doucet being more than capable of filling that role. And besides, Steve Breaston is their X-Factor. Brees & company will get their shots against a gambling Cards' secondary that can be really good or really bad; ultimately though the Cards can run & pass...so the defending NFC Champs move on. Arizona 34 New Orleans 28

Baltimore Ravens @ Indianapolis Colts (-6.5): The Colts have something to prove this Saturday night. They're being questioned because they opted to rest guys as opposed to going 16-0 and may come out rusty initially. The Ravens were the most impressive team by far last week on both sides of the ball, and in their previous matchup nearly beat the Colts at home. I believe though that with Peyton Manning chomping at the bit, they're gonna take some frustrations out on this good, but aging Baltimore D. The Ravens MUST be able to run the ball effectively like they did last week because the game can't be trusted in Flacco's hands. Indianapolis 27 Baltimore 17

Dallas Cowboys (+2.5) @ Minnesota Vikings: I am finally sold on the Cowboys. Their defense is on one helluva hot streak and they're making enough plays offensively. The Vikings looked good last time they played...but it was to a Giants team that literally didn't want to be on the field. Favre has regressed a bit in December...but at home he's been great. However, I just get this feeling that he will make a momentum-changing INT that will finally break this talented squad. If Adrian Peterson doesn't get his looks, the Vikes are in trouble. Meanwhile, as long as the Cowboys give Romo time in the pocket against Minnesota's aggressive D-Line, they will be fine. Dallas 23 Minnesota 14

New York Jets (+7) @ San Diego Chargers: I really think my boys can win this game. I won't pick them to here...but this matchup is a very good one for them. First off, Mark Sanchez gets to play in sunny California. Secondly out of the eight teams remaining, the Jets have the least amount of pressure on them. And on some real shit, their running game vs. a Chargers run D without Jamal Williams has an edge; as well as the Chargers not having a run game. Phillip Rivers will get his using his arsenal of weapons (that aren't locked up by Revis) and the one thing that worries me more than anything is that these Chargers are hella resilient. The X-Factor is Darren Sproles not only in the backfield; but also in the return game. Also, the Jets have only lost by double digits twice this season (at New Orleans and at New England- games in which Mark Sanchez was dreadful...and before they implemented the red light system ha). A game-winning FG by the very accurate Nate Keading will do us in, but a helluva season nevertheless. San Diego 23 NY Jets 20

NFL Wild Card Bettors Guide.

2010-01-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 10-6 straight up & 9-6-1 against the spread.
Season: 154-86 straight up & 120-114-5 against the spread.

Not bad...but now it's hammer time.

New York Jets (+2.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals: Not even being a homer here...but where do people get this idea that the Bengals are "far superior" to the Jets?? Look closely to the Bengals' 10 wins. EIGHT of them are by single digits and the 9th was a 10 point win over Detroit at home. Carson Palmer is supposed to be the "much superior" QB and the stats are in the pudding, but really he's only been real good on final drives. Only ways Cincy have a chance honestly are if they win the turnover battle, force Sanchez to take shots downfield and if they get the ball last ha. I don't see either 3 happening so...NY Jets 17 Cincinnati 9

Philadelphia Eagles (+3.5) @ Dallas Cowboys: No NFC team comes in hotter than the Cowboys...yet for some reason I still cannot trust them, especially since now they've probably earned the trust of the nation once again. The Eagles didn't really show much in week 17 especially defensively; you hardly saw any blitzes being dialed up and their big play was completely taken away. That being said, it's real hard to beat a team 3x in a season. Philadelphia 27 Dallas 23

Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots (-3.5): As much as I hate the Pats obviously, they're 8-0 at home. The weather suits Baltimore's run game no doubt, but Tom Brady airs it out in the cold, heat, sun, snow , it doesn't matter. And against a vulnerable & inexperienced Baltimore secondary that'll be the difference. Baltimore isn't built to come from behind. New England 27 Baltimore 17

Green Bay Packers @ Arizona Cardinals (+1): I noticed that the line shifted 2.5 points towards the Cheeseheads, indicating that the nation still has no respect for the Cardinals. Not so fast. Look closely at Green Bay's 11 wins. TWO were against playoff teams (DAL & BAL at home). The other 9? Rams, Browns, Lions x2, Bears x2, Seahawks, 49ers and the B-Team Cards. Other than the Niners, none of those are impressive whatsoever. But hey, they've feasted on the poor teams unlike this team from Pittsburgh. Anyways...the Packers have struggled against the elite teams this year especially defensively. Kurt Warner is gonna get his. Aaron Rodgers will too as he always does, but the Cheeseheads find themselves on the short end of the stick. Arizona 31 Green Bay 24

Priorities.

2010-01-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

So last night, I went to a poetry slam/jazz open mic up in East Harlem and while I was listening to some of the music...I was motivated to write a 16. I may or may not read this at a poetry slam in the near future; here goes:

How'd we go from I Have A Dream by Dr. King
To worryin about those who on the streets got STDs.
Once we used to be all about the struggle
Now lookin at cats sideways will get you in a tussle.
United we stand, divided we fall
We only unite when we see our brethren fall.
Our knowledge used to be harnessed with books in the library
Kinda scary that now they know everything bout Nick Cannon & Mariah Carey.
Aspiring to be a librarian, no more, now you wanna be a Kardashian
Or to practice for hours to be a highlight on ESPN.
Our parents preached for us to grab goals we can reach
But it feels like a contract we breached watchin intelligence bein put under siege.
Keep your eyes open, mind right all day & night
And you'll never lose sight of what's wrong & what's right.
To conclude we all have the intelligence to overcome ignorance
So set a precedent to rediscover the relevance that we hold to be self-evident.

Dear Jets Haters,

2010-01-04T19:18:00.000-08:00

So fans of teams like the Dolphins, Texans, Steelers, Jaguars and Broncos are now all upset because the Jets are in the playoffs. Many of them feel as though we backed into it and the Bengals will beat us this Saturday.

GET OVER IT.

It's not the Jets' fault that Jim Caldwell decided to pull his starters in the 3rd quarter. Besides, although the Colts were up 15-10 at the time, it's debatable as to whether or not they would have held on. It wasn't as if Peyton & company were dominating us. It's not the Jets' fault that we needed four teams to lose in week 16...and guess what? They all did. Oddly enough, two of those teams I mentioned at the top (the Steelers & Texans) helped us with victories in Week 16. It's not the Jets' fault that the Bengals only had the ball for 5 minutes in the first half...tell the Bengals' D to stop us on 3rd down. It's not the Jets' fault that the rest of you bums equaled our "mediocrity".

-Steelers: losing to the Raiders, Chiefs, Bears & Browns get you no brownie points (pun intended).
-Texans: how many games this year did you blow opportunities?
-Dolphins: sure you guys swept us, but there were 2-3 games in which you couldn't finish yourselves.
-Jaguars: 4 game losing streaks at the end of the season don't get the job done.
-Broncos: way to crash back to earth after starting 6-0.

Sure, we have the worst QB of the bunch in Mark Sanchez...and we're not gonna thrill you with our #1 running game. Thomas Jones is no Chris Johnson to excite you, sorry. We play a thing called defense. If you don't like it, watch college football. You want shootouts? Watch Arena Football on Youtube. People think low-scoring games are boring and that's all well and good...but as a defensive player, it ain't about the highlights; it's about the final score. You wanted the Texans in? For what, a 28-24 game? I'm sure you saw Baltimore-Tennessee last year the 13-10 game and that was a barnburner.

Sidenote: assuming the Colts went for the win & won...they'd be going into Buffalo 15-0. Citing the weather conditions there (Lake Effect Snow- about 6 inches fell in that game); do you really think the Colts' starters would have wanted to play in that and risk potential injury? Who knows, but as a Jets' fan...I don't care.

Did you guys think the 2000 Ravens team with Trent Dilfer at QB was boring? They got a world title. DEFENSE BITCH. The 2001 Rams with the greatest show on turf...so exciting right? Lost in the Super Bowl, oops. 2007 Patriots- exuding greatness blah blah blah. 18-1. What do you want? Ultimately, it's to see YOUR team win the Super Bowl; much less get into the playoffs. Would you complain if breaks went your teams' way? Nope. Perfect example- last year's Philadelphia Eagles. They needed to win their game at 415...but before that needed Chicago to lose and Oakland to travel 3,000 miles to upset Tampa Bay. Guess what, they got both and that energized them to their 44-6 blowout victory.

Long story short, you play to win the game. You can't worry about who the opponent throws out at you, no matter if it's their B-team or if you're facing the Lions & Browns back to back (like the Bengals did earlier this year). You need to worry about YOUR own momentum, no one elses. Don't like the Jets? Turn off your station 4:30pm Saturday. Simple.

And so on.

NFL Week 17 Bettors Guide.

2010-01-02T14:09:00.001-08:00

Let's finish strong and with a winning ATS record. Last week I got too cute with some upset specials that didn't come close ha.

Lat week: 8-8 straight up; 9-7 against the spread.
Overall: 144-80 straight up; 111-108-4 against the spread.

All odds courtesy of Oddsmaker.

New York Giants @ Minnesota Vikings (-7.5): Both teams are limping down the stretch. However two things. First, the Giants sounded after last week that they just want the season to end now. Secondly, the Vikings are much better at home than on the road. AP will have a field day. Minnesota 31 NY Giants 17

Indianapolis Colts @ Buffalo Bills (-8): I doubt the Indy starters even see the field. Curtis Painter looked god-awful against my boys last week and although the Bills' defense is bleh...he's no Peyton Manning so whatever. Buffalo 24 Indianapolis 10

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) @ Miami Dolphins: The Steelers will win this game & then kick themselves for losing games to OAK, KC and CLE. Pittsburgh 23 Miami 16

San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams (+8): Singletary's boys will be looking to finish strong and with a .500 season. They will accomplish this. However, it is disturbing to know that in wins against Arizona & Detroit they have forced 13 combined turnovers and yet have only won 24-9 and 20-6 respectively (barely covering against DET). The Rams will play hard & cover. San Francisco 20 St. Louis 14

New England Patriots (+7) @ Houston Texans: I honestly do believe that Belichick will play his starters throughout this game unless he finds that Houston jumps to another quick lead (i.e. 21-0). It's a huge game for the Texans' franchise as not only do they still hold hopes for a playoff berth, but also their first ever above .500 season. You know how the Texans do tho. New England 27 Houston 23

Chicago Bears (-3) @ Detroit Lions: The Bears are who we thought they were. Makes sense that the spread is weighted -125. Chicago 24 Detroit 17

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers (-7): With the way the Panthers are finishing up this season, combined with the immortal Mark Brunell starting for NO...this is the lock of the week. Carolina 31 New Orleans 13

Atlanta Falcons (-1.5) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Both teams are finishing strong but let's be real we know who the better team is. Take the under all day. Atlanta 21 Tampa Bay 14

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Cleveland Browns (-1): Did I just do that??? Hey look, the Browns have won 3 straight games and in fact have not allowed an offensive TD in their last 2 home games. With how shitty the Jags looked up north at New England last week, you must take the under at the minimum. Low 20s and snow showers screams Browns football ALL DAY. Cleveland 13 Jacksonville 7

Green Bay Packers @ Arizona Cardinals (-3.5): If this were a game in the middle of the season I'd probably look for the Packers' upset but since they're stuck in the #5 spot & may even return to play the same Cardinals team next week they don't have much to play for outside of momentum. Arizona 27 Green Bay 17

Kansas City Chiefs (+11) @ Denver Broncos: No Brandon Marshall security blanket for Kyle Orton huh? The Cowboys get all the notoriety for choking in December...but the Broncos have been pretty bad themselves. Not saying Denver loses this game...but CAREFUL. Denver 20 Kansas City 17

Baltimore Ravens @ Oakland Raiders (+10.5): Last year, the Raiders did the near-impossible. 14 point underdogs traveling 3,000 miles east to take on a squad (Tampa Bay) and given no chance whatsoever...yet they pull off the upset perhaps of the year. The Ravens are in that same category. This year, OAK is 4-1 SU/ATS as an underdog of 9 or more which means they step up to the level of competition. LOOK OUT. Oakland 21 Baltimore 17

Tennessee Titans (-5.5) @ Seattle Seahawks: Give Chris Johnson his 2,000 yard season against a team that has all but packed it up this season. Tennessee 27 Seattle 14

Philadelphia Eagles (+3) @ Dallas Cowboys: The Eagles sit at the 2 seed right now...but would drop to 6 with a loss and catapult the Cowboys to as high as #2 if the right breaks fall. Don't count on it tho. Philadelphia 24 Dallas 21

Washington Redskins @ San Diego Chargers (-4): There's a reason why even with a bye and being stuck with the #2 seed that the Chargers are STILL favored. Do you trust the Redskins...or rather Deadskins on the road whatsoever?? Plus, the Chargers like to go into the playoffs with momentum so their starters will play enough to make the cover a non issue. San Diego 30 Washington 16

Cincinnati Bengals (+10) @ New York Jets: All bets are off if the Pats pull out the victory in Houston...since the Bengals will be locked into the #4 seed. If the Patriots lose however, I can see Marvin Lewis getting aggressive. Being the cynic that I am, I do NOT trust my boys EVER and with night time lows in the mid 20s...NIGHTMARES for Sanchez. The run game better be cranked up. No way we cover unless CIN pulls their starters. This game may give me heart palpitations honestly. NY Jets 17 Cincinnati 14

The Art of the Fistpump.

2010-01-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

I was hangin with some of my brothers last night over at Nevada Smith's just shootin the random shit as always. No matter where you go, it seems as if you cannot avoid the inevitable topic of discussion- Jersey Shore. That show has taken on a life of its own...really the first show that actually makes a race other than African-American look subhuman. Instead of hearin them brag about being niggaz, you hear them brag about being guidos and guidettes. It may seem staged...but I know that it really ain't.

I digress though.

One of the main things brought to the forefront is when they go out clubbin & you hear that house music pumpin. Oh yeah. See, house music at least to me is nearly impossible to dance to...or at least truly dance to. Personally I could do ballet pirouettes with some hops & it will look like I "own the dance floor". I wonder if the Irish Jig/Riverdance & shit like that are distant relatives of this house music flavor. In efforts however to curtail this embarrassment for many, the fistpump was developed. Similar to when you do the 1-2 step when hip hop is played, you must first feel the beat. Typically the beat has to go BOOM BOOM BOOM DUSH or some variant. I do not know any house artists persay outside of Boris but you'll hear it. Then, what I personally do when I'm gettin ready to mock the pump is crank the arm, get my shoulder ready, cock the arm to 90 degrees and like a tomahawk, pump that mothafuckin fist in the air!!! That shit is fire. Sometimes when the beat is intense you gotta get both in the air but you're not wavin them around like you just don't care so be careful. I don't think people appreciate it however when I fistpump bc they think I am mocking their culture. Yes, and no. By the way, the fistpump is most effective when done randomly. Don't fistpump to Day and Night by Kid Cudi either.

What was once confined to the mean streets of LI and the Jersey Shore can now make its way to places such as Minneapolis, Des Moines, Denver and perhaps even Boise. Thanks to MTV, Jersey Shore has opened up horizons and doors which otherwise would never have been opened for these folks. You're motivated to get into the gym, pump it up (the iron), take fresh fruit & blend it with Bacardi for pregaming and so forth. The fistpump however, is the one thing you MUST take from it. You'll fit right in, it's a simple yet very powerful move. And for the fellas, combine that with a girl grinding her upper body all up on you when she got her hands up...fuhgetabowtit. You just need to handle the situation & take care of the rest from there.

And so on.

Baywatch is Over.

2009-12-29T12:50:00.000-08:00

So Jason Bay finally decides to sign with the Mets for a deal that is 4 years and averages around 16 mil/season. And I ain't mad about it. I'm one of those who actually preferred getting Bay over Matt Holliday because he would be the cheaper option and while he hits for a lower average; everything else is about the same. Some of the positives I take from this move:

1) The OF is now set with him, Beltran and Francoeur. Last year in Boston, Bay did have a perfect fielding percentage and recorded 15 assists. Now yes, Citi is a much bigger LF than Fenway is, but this will certainly be an improvement over the adventures of Daniel Murphy or Angel Pagan out there defensively.

2) He's a legit clean-up guy that we can insert right in-between Beltran & Wright. Placing back Wright at his natural #5 slot will allow him to do what he does best, and that's to drive runs as opposed to feeling forced to get everything all at once. Bay doesn't hit for the best average (career .280) but adding someone who can get you 25-30 HR, 100-105 RBI and a career .376 OBP is what the doctor ordered.

3) I know this is simply an intangible, but Bay thrived under the pressure for playing for a big-market team for a year plus out in Boston...so that should be no problem for him.

4) While this isn't solely about Bay...to those who talk about players who are afraid to play 81 home games at Citifield remember the only reason why we were last in HRs last year is BECAUSE OF THE TEAM WE WERE FORCED TO FIELD. Did it affect the Phillies, Marlins, Braves, etc? No. How about Mark Reynolds, who decided to have a personal home run derby here? No.

The best part about this is that all the pressure is gonna be on the Phillies now to deliver as being the heavy favorites to not only win the division, but the NL as a whole. The Mets if they remain healthy this year, get Pelfrey & Ollie's heads right and continue our strong bullpen pitching from last year can keep up easily. Not making too many changes in the roster this year might actually be a positive, as there is a better chance to build team chemistry which has been lacking the past few years. Now we need a 1B (I'm with the LaRoche idea 100%) and we should be fine.

NFL Week 16 Bettors Guide.

2009-12-25T12:38:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 11-5 straight up & 6-8-2 against the spread.
Overall: 136-72 straight up & 102-101-4 against the spread.

All Odds Courtesy of Oddsmaker.

San Diego Chargers (+3) @ Tennessee Titans: I don't think anyone knows why the Chargers are underdogs here. The Chargers are stream-rolling and they still have something to play for which is the #2 seed. Tennessee has a LOT to play for as well as they can still salvage their season & even make the playoffs with the right breaks but...San Diego 24 Tennessee 21

Houston Texans @ Miami Dolphins (-3): This game reeks of a push honestly. The loser of this game is in tons of trouble and a Texans loss basically eliminates them because they have the worst conference record of the remaining 8 teams fighting for the wild card. We know the Texans MO, win the meaningless ones, flop when it counts so...Miami 23 Houston 17

Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-2): The Steelers saved their season last week with that Santonio Holmes remix & one thing is that they OWN the Ravens at Heinz Field. Usually the under 41 would be a lock but not with the way Pitt now plays. Pittsburgh 27 Baltimore 21

Kansas City Chiefs (+13.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals: I just don't know how the Bengals are gonna come out considering the week they just had and this is a vastly inferior (albeit at times fiesty) KC squad they're facing. I suspect they'll be flat. Cincinnati 24 Kansas City 17

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ New Orleans Saints (-14): I think the pressure of no longer being undefeated will help the Saints here against this pathetic Bucs squad. New Orleans 38 Tampa Bay 14

Jacksonville Jaguars (+7.5) @ New England Patriots: The Pats to be quite honest have been very unimpressive lately. Meanwhile, the Jags with the extra 3 days off and their schizo tendencies will cover...and pull off the upset. Jacksonville 23 New England 20

Oakland Raiders @ Cleveland Browns (-3): Both teams play hard my man. But before you think Oakland will pull off the upset, in games immediately following their victories they are 0-4 SU/ATS and have lost by a combined 119-23. Cleveland 24 Oakland 10

Seattle Seahawks @ Green Bay Packers (-14): *Sucks teeth*. Lock of the week right here; book the Packers' postseason plans and throw away the fuckin key. Green Bay 34 Seattle 7

Carolina Panthers (+7) @ New York Giants: I never trust the Giants given a spread like this. Do you? Yes it's the fighting Matt Moores but he gives this squad a much better chance than Delhomme does. Giants win though. NY Giants 27 Carolina 21

Buffalo Bills (+9.5) @ Atlanta Falcons: Zzzzzzzzz..UNDER CITY USA...zzzzzzz. Atlanta 17 Buffalo 14

Detroit Lions (+12.5) @ San Francisco 49ers: Man what the fuck happened to Daunte Culpepper?? Frank Gore will have a field day with this defense but remember who the Niners' QB is. San Francisco 27 Detroit 17

St. Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals (-14): It was alarming seeing how the Cards nearly blew that one in Detroit but we will return to our regularly scheduled programming even though the Rams have played hard recently. Arizona 38 St. Louis 14

New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts (-6): Last Saturday I joked about how my boys would end the Colts' undefeated streak. Then Sunday's abysmal performance came. Then the realization that this is a 4:15 game AND the Jets haven't won a meaningful December game against a legit team in God knows how long. RIP Playoff Hopes :(. Indianapolis 27 NY Jets 13

Denver Broncos (+7) @ Philadelphia Eagles: I have a funny feeling about this one because the Broncos have beaten the Cowboys & Giants as well in the NFC East this season. I know both games were at home but with this average as all hell team they can win this one...just so long as they don't give up the McNabb-to-Jackson long bomb. Denver 24 Philadelphia 20

Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins (+7): Cowboys humbled the Saints IN NEW ORLEANS. Skins just got demolished. You know what this means. Washington 17 Dallas 14

Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears (+7): UGH...the Monday Night game?? Really? Whatever... However, something must give. Will Minnesota wake up & smell the coffee on the road where lately they've been very flat? Will Chicago finally cover? Both answers are yes so...Minnesota 23 Chicago 17

And so on.

I Was Wondering.

2009-12-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

I don't listen to the radio all that often except for when I have to drive...and from what I gather, all the rage with the ladies is with Trey Songz. They love this dude, always talkin about how he makes their panties wet with his music, etc. Songs claiming that he'll make you think that he invented sex and how he will make you say his name I guess get the job done. The other thing he has goin for him though is that the ladies think he's fuckable. That's on them.

So it made me think...what if I became an R&B singer?? I don't have a cut abdomen, hell my hairline is a tad fucked up. Do you think that if I sang about handcuffin a chick on the bed makin envisionin her as my prisoner but beautifully torturing her that it would have the same baby-making music effect? Can I get away with with tellin her she could get the beez neez inbetween her knees? Lick the spot to get her hot? Is it in the words, or is it a combination in the look and the words??

What I Miss?? And so on.

NFL Week 15 Bettors Guide.

2009-12-17T14:12:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 10-6 straight up & 9-7 against the spread.
Overall: 125-66 straight up & 96-93-2 against the spread.

Indianapolis Colts (-3) @ Jacksonville Jaguars: The Colts will continue to take care of business, regardless of how desperate Jacksonville is to keeping alive their playoff hopes. Look for the starters to play almost the entire game. Indianapolis 27 Jacksonville 17

Dallas Cowboys @ New Orleans Saints (-7): The Saints get up for these games. Against teams with winning records at home (NYJ, NYG, NE, ATL) they are perfect SU/ATS. Expect this trend to continue in a beatdown. New Orleans 45 Dallas 24

San Francisco 49ers (+8.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles: There's somethin about the Niners and their propensity to play hard that makes me believe that they'll be in this one...not to mention the Eagles could be in letdown mode after beating NYG. Eagles win and clinch the division, but SF covers. Philadelphia 24 San Francisco 20

Arizona Cardinals (-12) @ Detroit Lions: Don't expect 2 clunkers from the Cardinals in a row...and think about it, they had a -5 turnover ratio & only lost 24-9 to SF. They won't have 7 turnovers again and you'll be turnin over your station by the 2nd half. Arizona 38 Detroit 14

Houston Texans (-12.5) @ St. Louis Rams: This is the only line I've seen for this game but I could care less what it turns out to be honestly. Houston 34 St. Louis 17

Cleveland Browns (+1.5) @ Kansas City Chiefs: People are screaming UNDER CITY USA...but remember the Browns-Lions game? KC can't win at home for some reason (2 wins SU the past 2 seasons) & CLE does have the extra 3 days rest. Cleveland 24 Kansas City 17

New England Patriots @ Buffalo Bills (+7): This Pats team is discombobulated chemistry-wise. The Bills have been playing better and with no pressure, even though NE is the vastly superior team...it will also be perfect Bills weather this Sunday. Temps in the mid 20s will make it more difficult on NE's passing game and I think that'll be enough to prompt this result. New England 17 Buffalo 13

Chicago Bears @ Baltimore Ravens (-10.5): Sure it's a lot of points for BAL...but the Bears cannot cover spreads for shit. Baltimore 31 Chicago 13

Miami Dolphins (+4) @ Tennessee Titans: This is the only line I've seen for this game; but regardless, the Dolphins ALWAYS seem to find a way. How so, I have NO clue honestly, it flummoxes me. Chris Johnson will get his 135 but in the end MIA will prevail. Miami 23 Tennessee 20

Atlanta Falcons @ New York Jets (-6): It's gonna be nasty on Sunday (snow ending, temps right around the freezing mark) so all I can say for these 2 squads is TAKE THE UNDER. This is the only line I've seen but I think it'll wind up being this way anyway. Ground game is gonna be PIVOTAL and the Jets have the edge here. NY Jets 17 Atlanta 7

Oakland Raiders (+13.5) @ Denver Broncos: Do you trust the Broncos with this many points?? Yes it's the Raiders but this is the same Raiders squad that has won outright games vs. PHI, CIN and @PIT as huge underdogs. Last year they were also double-digit dogs, came to Denver and smacked them 31-10. Charlie Frye is the QB sure. But something is amiss...Oakland doesn't get annihilated 2 weeks in a row. Upset City. Oakland 24 Denver 20

Cincinnati Bengals @ San Diego Chargers (-6.5): The game of the week...that has taken a backseat to the sudden & tragic death of Chris Henry for CIN. One of 2 things happens in situations like these...the team plays inspired as all hell throughout...or they do so but burn out by the 4th quarter. I envision the latter. I really hope though that the Bengals do win this game. San Diego 31 Cincinnati 21

Green Bay Packers @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-1): It's not the good teams that the Steelers have a problem with...it's the terrible ones. Pittsburgh 28 Green Bay 21

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Seattle Seahawks (-6.5): HELP!!!!! Seattle 27 Tampa Bay 0 (yes that's a ZERO, GOOSE EGG, ZILCH, NADAAAA if I could give a team negative points I would)

Minnesota Vikings (-9) @ Carolina Panthers: You couldn't flex this game??? Seriously? Minnesota 31 Carolina 14

New York Giants (-2.5) @ Washington Redskins: While teams have been scorin more than Tiger's mistresses on the Giants lately...and hell even the Redskins know what offense is now...one thing about the Giants is that the own the Skins. NY Giants 30 Washington 23

And so on.

DK's Top 5 Favorite TV Shows Of 2009.

2009-12-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

I'm not really one that watches much in the way of television programming...unless it's something sports-related. That was, until recently. I figure I need some time off the damn computer as well as entertaining myself with some of this shit on here. Lo and behold, I've compiled my list of my 5 favorite shows of 2009:

1) Jersey Shore (MTV)- How does a show that I've only seen one episode of already be my favorite show?? The season premiere was EPIC. For me it's kinda interestin also seein a different group of people call themselves a derogatory term & be proud of it (guido). Also being from NYC and knowin how they act in Jerz/LI/SI this hits home hard ha. Who's your favorite chick? Sammy's the baddest one but hey, "Snooki" seems to be the easiest to bag so fuck it.

2) Tough Love (VH1)- Nothing's more satisfying to me these days than broads who think they are all high and mighty and for them to get a doses of reality that they cannot handle. Well, one of them- Jenna- has so little self esteem that she busted out in tears after being told she was homely and thick. "I've lost 85 pounds." Really then you should be flauntin your shit 24/7 all day. I love this show...5 episodes in out of 10.

3) Intervention (A&E)- I just started gettin up on this show a couple weeks ago...I must admit this is some powerful shit. It shows people who are addicted like mothafuckas to pills, alcohol, etc...it's pretty amazing to see how badly it's affected their families.

T4) Manhunters (A&E)- One of the most intense/gangsta shows I've seen this year.

T4) Wipeout (ABC)- A hilarious game show that has some of the best falls I have ever seen.

5) Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)- Sunday Night Football usually got in the way this past season...but when I did get a chance to see it, Larry David had me on the floor.

Honorable Mention: Mad Men (AMC), The Biggest Loser (NBC), Hoarders (A&E)

And so on.

The Jackson's Family Exploitation Dynasty.

2009-12-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

Just like most of yall, although we hate reality shows...we can't stop watchin them. Why? Because those are really the only shows on TV at this point. Some shows are hella good and heartwarming (Extreme Makeover: Home Edition), some are HYSTERICAL (Jersey Shore), some have an underlying meaning to them (Tough Love); and I could go on for days. However, some of them make me sick. I'll see shit like Half-Ton Mom/Dad/Teen...but it's disgusting in terms of the WOW factor. Hoarders on A&E...same shit. The Jacksons Family Dynasty however...takes the cake.

Who in the blue fuck are these dudes? When was the last time any of Michael Jackson's brothers relevant?? I don't even think the sperm that would become me was created yet when that happened. Now all of a sudden after MJ got murdered (that wasn't an "accidental drug overdose") you wanna feel as though now it's time to see how the family is "coping" with his death & goin back into the studio. Get the fuck outta here. That's like never tellin a girl you love her n then when she break up with you and find another dude, you buy her a $4 million ring like Kobe did. How they still black, while MJ turned white? You can't eat off his work so now you gotta go to the field & plant your seeds your damn selves. Personally I hope they fail with whatever project they're tryin to do. I know we're in a society where we like to exploit the fuck out of someone...but this is ridiculous. I didn't watch the season premiere and have no intentions of watchin it for a second.

My opinion on MJ: He was a hella great performer and sure, I listened to his music when I was younger...when he was visible in my eyes. But he became dead to me a hella long time ago, simply a footnote. I have no right to be one of those folks who when he died decided to go on Limewire and go on a downloading spree of MJ. I wasn't one of those ppl who decided to have 80s boomboxes with em and blaring MJ on the street...or go to a "Michael Jackson Pub Crawl" (yes in NYC they had one). Unless you're one who still listened to him until the day he died...you're a bandwagoner. "Ohhhh yeahhh I remember him now." ain't gonna cut it.

This show I know is gonna try to attract those people who are hardcore fans of the Jacksons. If they see through this and know that it's all a ploy...it will backfire tremendously. I don't hope for many failures...but I hope this show flops ratings-wise like no other. On Twitter, it wasn't a trending topic so that's probably true. The only problem is that the Jackson's "Won't Stop Til They Get Enough" of this exploitation of MJ to use him as a cash cow. Just "Beat It".

And so on.

NFL Week 14 Bettors Guide.

2009-12-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

For my standards this was an awful week.

Last Week: 10-6 straight up & 6-10 against the spread
Overall: 115-60 straight up & 87-86-2 against the spread

Feelin lazy this week so just scores for you.

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns (+9.5): Pittsburgh 21 Cleveland 13

New Orleans Saints (-10.5) @ Atlanta Falcons: New Orleans 37 Atlanta 17

Miami Dolphins (+3) @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville 17 Miami 16

New York Jets (-3) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: NY Jets 24 Tampa Bay 10

Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears (+3): Chicago 20 Green Bay 17

Buffalo Bills (PK) @ Kansas City Chiefs: Buffalo 30 Kansas City 14

Seattle Seahawks @ Houston Texans (-6.5): Houston 31 Seattle 13

Detroit Lions (+13.5) @ Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore 27 Detroit 20

Cincinnati Bengals (+6.5) @ Minnesota Vikings: Cincinnati 31 Minnesota 27

Denver Broncos @ Indianapolis Colts (-7): Indianapolis 27 Denver 14

Carolina Panthers @ New England Patriots (-13.5): New England 34 Carolina 7

St. Louis Rams @ Tennessee Titans (-13): Tennessee 27 St. Louis 6

Washington Redskins (-1) @ Oakland Raiders: Washington 17 Oakland 13

San Diego Chargers (+3) @ Dallas Cowboys: San Diego 24 Dallas 21

Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants (-1): NY Giants 23 Philadelphia 17

Arizona Cardinals (-3.5) @ San Francisco 49ers: Arizona 27 San Francisco 17

And so on.

Phasing People Out.

2009-12-09T19:40:00.000-08:00

I've thought about this for quite a while now...and I'm gonna use the opposite sex spectrum for this one. Ever been cool with a girl/guy and yall talk, shoot the shit, hang out, etc...and then from almost out of nowhere he/she gets into a relationship. The common theme during their honeymoon phase is to disappear off the face of the planet while we put up APB signs at the corner wonderin where they're at. They then come out of nowhere from the caves and are like "Heyyyyy You, Long Time...How Are You??" Um...same way I was 4 months ago you jackass. You can tell that they're hella happy; while you may or not be, on one part you're glad for them that they're happy. On the other hand you're wonderin "Ahh so NOW you're back." There's several different directions where I could go with this (and I've done all of these).

1) Disappear along with them. It's pretty obvious that they won't lose sleep if they don't hear from you and they continue to act as if you should check up on them first to see how they're doing. It's a nice gesture...but the street goes both ways. I'll be real, I don't feel as comfortable talkin to a girl who was single when I met them and now has a boyfriend...especially when I had interest in them. Yes, I do have some jealousy. The thing I hate most is when a girl either decides that NOW she feels comfortable talkin to you now that she's got a man...or vice versa (if I'm taken). Wassup with that?? This is the case for a TON of girls who I have on my phone right now. I've thought of deleting them...but i'm too lazy to do this.

2) Still remain cool with them. This for me is rare. This obviously happens in a case when I have no romantic/sexual interest in them because either there's never that spark...or she's goin out with one of my boys so obviously it's gonna be off-limits. Naturally I'm not gonna have a late night conversation with them nor would I with Case 1...but my convos with these people will be more substantial. I think this is also possible with an ex if you know for a fact that spark is gone...tho that is near-impossible.

3) Even though they're single, they just stop talkin. Some girls you talk to for a while and whether they live close to you or far...all or a sudden they just stop communicating with you. They're used to you hitting them up, yet when they see that you have stopped don't lose sleep over the fact you don't holla at them first. If they were as cool as they claimed that they were, they would follow up.

4) Hey, sometimes when you're phased out, you're phased out. They put that Berlin Wall and you ain't climbin up that bitch without gettin shot down. Just like in Cases 1 and 3 you're gonna end up with the traditional:
Me: Wassup?
Her: nm, u?
Me: Chillin
Her: oic (aka whatever)

IF you're lucky you might get the "what's new". Which leads to another "Oic". Convo ends usually within 10 minutes and you realize that the person has nothing left for you.

Sometimes you realize it sucks when chicks that you used to be hella cool with or even dream about hookin up with suddenly just lose that appeal. I know myself, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this. I know a lot of females are comfortable with the whole "I have a lot of guy friends" thing...but if they're taken, I guarantee you that unless her guy friends are also taken...they're not really her friends...UNLESS they're hangin around for a possible breakup. I wouldn't hold my breath on that shit though, you'll choke and die. It may sound like an asshole, but in life you gotta move on.

But fuck it, if I get wifed up...I DO feel more comfortable talkin to girls who are in relationships that I otherwise would not be cool with. Because they're now in the same spectrum as the single-single. In a double standardized society, that's how I roll. You got a problem, turn off your station.

And so on.

NFL Week 13 Bettors Guide.

2009-12-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

A perfect Thanksgiving...but a nightmarish Sunday/Monday ATS left me at:

Last Week: 11-5 Straight Up; 6-9-1 Against The Spread
Overall: 105-54 Straight Up; 81-76-2 Against The Spread.

I had predicted Baltimore covering the 7.5 and winning 24-10 on my Facebook by the way (they won 20-17 in OT).

New York Jets (-3) @ Buffalo Bills- in Toronto: My boys SHOULD win this game. We outplayed them in every facet of the game except for three: Turnovers, Penalties, and the Final Score. Mark Sanchez will not throw 5 INTs in a game again at least this season and with the environment being more controlled at the Rogers Centre than it would have been at Ralph Wilson Stadium...he'll be a better game manager. Bills have been playing better but in the end: NY Jets 21 Buffalo 13

Detroit Lions (+13) @ Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals haven't been handling prosperity the best. They lost straight up at Oakland and couldn't cover TWICE against the Browns. Playing down to the level of their competition perhaps? The Lions' D is dreadful sure and the Bengals will likely be content at running it down their throats all day...but the Lions do have an extra 3 days off which should pay off in a cover. Cincinnati 28 Detroit 17

Denver Broncos @ Kansas City Chiefs (+5): Just when it looks like we see the Broncos get back on track...a division game that has trap written all over it. With the Chargers riding high and peaking at the right time the Broncos need to keep pace. Problem is with a team like Kansas City who can play spoiler, you never know what to expect. They can get annihilated (last week), keep it too close for comfort (Dallas) or even beat you (Pittsburgh). I'm gonna go with Choice 3 since they don't have back to back clunkers. Upset City as KC wins their 2nd straight home game following 11 consecutive home losses. Kansas City 23 Denver 20

Houston Texans (PK) @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Here's the Texans' mantra: get to unprecedented levels, play in the "biggest games in franchise history", fall short and back below .500, and then tease us with a strong finish when it's too late. Watch them win this game. Houston 27 Jacksonville 21

Oakland Raiders (+14.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers: The Raiders have not fared well at all in their 1pm games this year...being outscored 73-13 by the Texans and Giants. The one caveat is that you're looking at a Steelers team that has only covered four times themselves (vs. SD, MIN; @ DEN, BAL). As a double digit favorite this year the Steelers are 0-3 ATS. Oakland should be able to move the ball JUST enough to cover...Roethlisberger will be back and lead the defending champs to an easy victory but yet another missed cover. Pittsburgh 24 Oakland 10

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+6.5) @ Carolina Panthers: As long as Jake Delhomme is under center, the Panthers cannot be trusted. The Bucs tried very hard last week in Atlanta and even took Matt Ryan & Michael Turner out...but it wasn't meant to be. Look for a similar performance here. Carolina will run the ball and do so efficiently but Josh Freeman will keep them in it. Carolina 20 Tampa Bay 16

Tennessee Titans (+7) @ Indianapolis Colts: This is the sexy underdog pick of the week for many and who can blame them? The Titans have won 5 in a row; the Colts have already clinched a playoff berth (and with a win + CIN + SD loss they clinch home field also) and other than a perfect season don't have much incentive left. Titans definitely cover after that humiliation they received from Indy at home...but Peyton Manning shows why he is THE MAN. Indianapolis 24 Tennessee 21

New Orleans Saints @ Washington Redskins (+9.5): Drew Brees & company made me look retarded last week by humiliating the Patriots. However this is one of those games that has LETDOWN written all over it especially coming off such an emotional victory. Although they've seem to have gotten back to their early season form; remember after they smacked the Giants the following week they started off very flat at Miami before that insane comeback. The Redskins may be able to take advantage just long enough to get a cover. New Orleans 30 Washington 23

New England Patriots (-4) @ Miami Dolphins: The rule applies- Pats don't lose back-to-back games. New England 31 Miami 20

St. Louis Rams @ Chicago Bears (-9): Only reason why the Bears cover is that the Rams don't have anyone on defense to catch Jay Cutler's passes. Chicago 34 St. Louis 17

Philadelphia Eagles @ Atlanta Falcons (+5.5): Not having DeSean Jackson WILL hurt this big play offense and hell, I'm even tempted to believe that Chris Redman can pull out another one. But when the dust settles...it's a little too much to ask and the Dirty Birds lose their first home game of the season. Philadelphia 21 Atlanta 20

San Diego Chargers (-13) @ Cleveland Browns: HELP!! San Diego 31 Cleveland 3

San Francisco 49ers (PK) @ Seattle Seahawks: Zzzzzzzzzzzz... San Francisco 21 Seattle 14

Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants (+1.5): This is the STAY AWAY FROM game of the week. The Cowboys and their December swoons are well documented; meanwhile the Giants are now in desperation mode. With the extra three days to prepare I look for them to get back to basics and pull this one out because it's at home. But BEWARE. NY Giants 27 Dallas 23

Minnesota Vikings (-4) @ Arizona Cardinals: They flexed this game to Sunday Night Football. I guess they figured it'd be more entertaining than the Patriots-Dolphins and yes it is, both on paper and in gameplay. Two small problems. 1) Vikings are playing the best football in the NFL. 2) Cardinals are a bad home team somehow. Vikings all day. Minnesota 31 Arizona 17

Baltimore Ravens @ Green Bay Packers (-3): Sometimes I wonder about the Ravens. Still a very solid defense...but they couldn't get to Dennis Dixon last Sunday night. Aaron Rodgers if he has time can make mockeries of secondaries. Both teams have been disappointing most certainly but I gotta give the home team the edge here. Green Bay 23 Baltimore 17

And so on.

Reaping What You Sow.

2009-12-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

I can't remember the last time I actually blogged about somethin on here not sports related. But every now and then somethin will capture my attention and I have to write about it.

People are hella quick to make judgments on others...but even more so when you got fame because the target on your back is that much bigger so people can use more ammunition to mark that back. Also, you become more liable to get joked on...regardless of the subject matter. I come to find out yesterday that Pleasure P had been molesting his niece & nephew when he was 16-17. Hella disturbing right? Instead of feelin pity for him, we relentlessly crack jokes on him (and yes I'm guilty of doing so also). Is it deserved? Usually not. Do we derive pleasure (no pun intended) off of another one's problems? Almost always, because we are a sensationalist society. We never truly take a step back & think about if our families were put in situations like these because we're too caught up in the moment.

They have shows such as "To Catch A Predator" which do nothing but clown on potential child sex predators. We watch them, we laugh at them as Chris Hansen exposes them and at times we have pity for them. Do they deserve more so our pity however...or do they deserve what they're gettin by being exposed because of the deliberate acts? No, we mainly laugh at them. R.Kelly is yet another example. Although disturbed about his peeing act at first, we took it upon ourselves to take that joke & run with it all the way to the bank. Hell, the Chappelle Show & the Boondocks have run episodes strictly on the man ha. Michael Jackson is the third. No matter how fucked up we know it is (and hell we'll never know the truth); all we did was clown the man for allegedly touching boys, Neverland, and his multitude of Plastic Surgeries. When the man died there were still smatterings of this lying around. Shit, even Tiger Woods' "domestic dispute" has been the center of controversy & jokes all week. Check out the front cover of the New York Post by the way if you haven't done so.

With fame you can use that to your full advantage. But at the same time a couple of false moves here and there & suddenly you can become the butt of jokes. And with the way our cynical minds work now, there's no such thing as a joke being too soon. You reap what you sow regardless of whether it's unintentional or not, whether you apologize or not, all of that. It's not just these people's lives and reputations that get ruined...but behind closed doors this is devastating to the people closest to them. We never think about the latter because those people are Everyman like you and me. Life's a bitch it really is. But we're also human too.

And so on.

NFL Week 12 Bettors Guide.

2009-11-25T20:10:00.000-08:00

I didn't get to add the San Diego @ Denver game to the blog...but I posted it on my Facebook having the Chargers covering the 5.5 and winning 24-10 (they won 32-3). Therefore:

Last week: 11-5 straight up & 7-9 against the spread
Overall: 94-49 straight up & 75-67-1 against the spread

Green Bay Packers (-11.5) @ Detroit Lions: Being forced to play Daunte Culpepper is not gonna be a pretty sight. As long as Aaron Rodgers gets some protection, he will have no problem with a defense that allowed the Browns to nearly equal their touchdown total ALL SEASON. Green Bay 34 Detroit 17

Oakland Raiders @ Dallas Cowboys (-13.5): The Raiders in the game immediately following a win have gotten outscored 61-3. The Cowboys in their past 3 Thanksgiving games have won 38-10, 34-3 and 34-9. You do the math. Dallas 31 Oakland 8

New York Giants @ Denver Broncos (+6.5): The Broncos are in a free-fall for the ages, having lost their last four games all by a combined 117-37. The Giants snapped their losing streak..albeit barely in an overtime win last week. I look for the Broncos sensing desperation to bounce back on the defensive side of the ball while doing just enough on offense against the suddenly vulnerable Giants' D to pull off the upset. Denver 21 NY Giants 17

Miami Dolphins (-3) @ Buffalo Bills: The Bills showed some signs of life last week, nearly pulling off the SU upset before the Jags stole one. With that being said, it won't be cold enough yet in Buffalo for the Fins to be too concerned...they'll be able to control the clock. Miami 23 Buffalo 14

Seattle Seahawks @ St. Louis Rams (+3): Not having Marc Bulger hurts...but in all honesty what difference has that made in the past couple years? The Seahawks are absolutely nothing special and with the feistiness the Rams have shown the past three games LOOK OUT. They will be rewarded for this. St. Louis 21 Seattle 14

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles (-9): 2 words for you- Big Play. That's what the Eagles can do, while the Redskins cannot. Anyone have any idea who the Redskins' starting RB is gonna be for this Sunday anyway. The Redskins' above average D can only do so much. Philadelphia 24 Washington 10

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons (-11.5): I tried...But I no longer can. Besides, Atlanta is a different beast at home. Atlanta 31 Tampa Bay 7

Indianapolis Colts (-3.5) @ Houston Texans: Those demoralizing losses take a toll on you (ask the Jets last week) and after a couple of close calls, the Colts will have an easier time this Sunday than what most people believe. Indianapolis 30 Houston 21

Cleveland Browns @ Cincinnati Bengals (-14): We discovered that in fact...the Browns DO have an offense. Although they did score 20 on the Bengals in Week 2 as well, that I believe was an abomination also. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress. Cincinnati 24 Cleveland 6

Carolina Panthers (+3) @ New York Jets: Carolina isn't a good road team (and frankly besides the undefeated Saints, none of them in the AFC South are) but not only do they have the extra 3 days of rest, but they are certainly less dysfunctional than my boys are. Carolina 23 NY Jets 20

Jacksonville Jaguars @ San Francisco 49ers (-3): Zzzzzzzzzz... San Francisco 17 Jacksonville 10

Kansas City Chiefs (+13.5) @ San Diego Chargers: The Chargers have been on a tear, playing football as a very high level...and they might take the Chiefs lightly in this one. Not to mention, the Chiefs are very very good covering the spread when given this many points. San Diego 27 Kansas City 17

Arizona Cardinals (+3) @ Tennessee Titans: The Cards are COMPLETELY different when Kurt Warner plays as opposed to Matt Leinart. They ran out to a 21-3 lead on the hapless Rams before Warner left, but stagnated with Leinart playing in the 2nd half. They are fortunate that Warner is playing in this one. The electrifying duo of Vince Young and Chris Johnson will give them fits, but the Cards will exploit the Titans through the air and snap the winning streak. Arizona 27 Tennessee 21

Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings (-10.5): I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop for Brett Favre. It won't be this week. Minnesota's swarming defense will force Jay Cutler into mistakes and turn this one ugly. Minnesota 31 Chicago 13

Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens I will get back to when we get word on Roethlisberger.

New England Patriots (+3) @ New Orleans Saints: The Patriots are on a roll as much as I hate to admit it. Keep in mind that they had the Colts down at Indy 31-14 in the fourth before blowing it. They can easily do the same thing here against a Saints defense that's opportunistic...but vulnerable. You want to know how to slow down Drew Brees? Watch Jets-Saints film from Week 4. New England 31 New Orleans 21

NFL Week 11 Bettors Guide.

2009-11-19T15:32:00.000-08:00

Arguably my best week of the year this past week...and I forgot to do Bears-49ers...which I would have guessed correctly also but it's all good. Let's keep up the momentum.

Last Week: 10-4 straight up & against the spread.
Overall: 83-44 straight up & 68-58-1 against the spread.

Miami Dolphins @ Carolina Panthers (-3.5): No Ronnie Brown for the rest of the season will throw this offense out of whack. Chad Henne will be forced to make plays that Jake Delhomme won't have to...and that's the difference tonight. Carolina 24 Miami 13

Buffalo Bills (+9) @ Jacksonville Jaguars: This is a game that Jacksonville should have no problem with...which means you gotta go against them at least spread-wise. In theory, MJD should have a field day with this Bills' sieve D...meanwhile with Ryan Fitzpatrick starting for the Bills it should be a nightmare...but... Jacksonville 23 Buffalo 17

Pittsburgh Steelers (-10) @ Kansas City Chiefs: Ehh. The Steelers coming off a frustrating loss should take it out on the Chiefs...who seemingly disappear the game after winning one. Pittsburgh 27 Kansas City 10

Indianapolis Colts (-1) @ Baltimore Ravens: If Peyton can come back from 31-14 in the 4th quarter at home to beat the Patriots...he shouldn't have too much issue with these Ravens; who looked very unimpressive last week at Cleveland on the offensive side of the ball. Indy still has home-field to play for and while Baltimore should be desperate here...I don't see them getting the job done. Indianapolis 28 Baltimore 20

Seattle Seahawks @ Minnesota Vikings (-11): Seahawks are traveling...you know what that means. Minnesota 38 Seattle 7

Atlanta Falcons (+6.5) @ New York Giants: I never feel comfortable with the Giants and a big spread...especially in a game that is so important for both. The bye came at the perfect time for the G-Men as they were reeling heavily- particularly on defense. The Falcons meanwhile have regressed along with Matt Ryan's sophomore slump. The question is will Michael Turner play? If he doesn't I may lay the points on the Giants but for now I'll assume he does. NY Giants 27 Atlanta 21

New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+11.5): Yeah I'm doing this. The Bucs have looked like a team the past couple of weeks...while the Saints have appeared to have reached their peak. While I don't believe that Drew Brees & company can be stopped by the Bucs' D; I don't see the Saints running away with it either. Josh Freeman has avoided making mistakes, and as long as he doesn't get baited by Darren Sharper & the ballhawking defense...the Bucs will cover. New Orleans 35 Tampa Bay 28

Cleveland Browns @ Detroit Lions (-3.5): The STUPOR BOWL. UNDER CITY USA LIVES HERE. Put it to you this way: the O/U is 38. The Browns have scored 29 TOTAL in their last 5 games. But hey...the Browns beat the Lions in preseason 27-10... What I Miss??? Detroit 13 Cleveland 3

San Francisco 49ers (+6.5) @ Green Bay Packers: The Pack had an excellent bounce back victory against the Cowboys which arguably was their best defensive performance of the season (the Browns are not an NFL team). The Niners were excellent themselves defensively in taking out the Bears. With that said, I do expect a tighter than expected game...UPSET CITY. San Francisco 20 Green Bay 17

Washington Redskins @ Dallas Cowboys (-11): 11 points is a lot...but Romo and the Boys play much better at home offensively, and after that bad loss to Green Bay last week they will take it out on the disappointing Skins. Dallas 31 Washington 17

Arizona Cardinals (-9) @ St. Louis Rams: The Cards for some odd reason are 4-0 on the road and have scored 24+ in each of them. The Rams have been trying hard the past couple of weeks but they just run into a buzzsaw Sunday. Arizona 38 St. Louis 20

New York Jets (+10.5) @ New England Patriots: 10.5?? Really? Only three Jets games all season have been decided in double digits. The Jets have won SU 2 of the last 3 years in NE and covered in the other meeting as a 20 point underdog in 2007 (20-10). Both teams are seething. I understand Brady rarely ever loses back-to-back games and that's fine and good but have some respect. New England 27 NY Jets 21

Cincinnati Bengals (-9.5) @ Oakland Raiders: Kiss the Baby Jamarcus Russell. Bruce Gradkowski starts. What does that mean? The Raiders MIGHT be in contention to cover...for a full half instead of the first quarter. Cincinnati 31 Oakland 10

Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears (+3): The Eagles are the better team no doubt. However, I just have a feeling that in front of a nationally televised audience and to mainly save face, Jay Cutler will have one of his best performances of the year. Chicago 27 Philadelphia 23

Tennessee Titans (+4.5) @ Houston Texans: Something has to give. Vince Young is a winner...and he returns back home to Texas where he feels right at home. The Texans have never lost when featured on Prime Time. One thing's for sure tho and that's that Reliant Stadium will be host to OVER CITY. The ability for the Titans to slow the game down a tad more than the Texans wlll be the difference on Monday. Tennessee 31 Houston 28

NFL Week 10. Bettors Guide.

2009-11-14T05:47:00.000-08:00

An unusual week...as I actually did better against the spread than I did straight up; but got back above .500.

Last Week: 7-6 straight up & 9-4 against the spread
Overall: 73-40 straight up & 58-54-1 against the spread

New Orleans Saints (-14) @ St. Louis Rams: You can't be serious. New Orleans 42 St. Louis 13

Jacksonville Jaguars (+6) @ New York Jets: With Jacksonville you don't know what to expect...hence why they are 4-4. Same thing with my boys; who in their four losses have seen one facet of their game totally disappear whether it's offense (Buffalo, @ New Orleans), defense (@ Miami) or special teams (Miami). Coming off a bye, my guys should be fresh and ready to go but this will be a closer one than what fans want to see...however, with New England coming up, a win is a win. NY Jets 21 Jacksonville 17

Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers (+1.5): The Panthers have been playing better lately and it's because they've finally gone back to their bread & butter- the run game. They've also been more aggressive defensively. The Falcons don't travel all that well. This is a crucial game for them to keep pace in the Wild Card hunt but they will fail to get the job done here. Carolina 23 Atlanta 20

Buffalo Bills @ Tennessee Titans (-7): The Bills get Trent Edwards back. Won't matter. Their defense, albeit opportunistic is SLOW...and is susceptible to getting hammered especially against the run. The Jets gashed them for 318 yards and now they get to face the NFL's leading rusher in Chris Johnson. NIGHTMARES. No Music City Miracle required this go-around. Tennessee 27 Buffalo 17

Detroit Lions (+16.5) @ Minnesota Vikings: As good as the Vikings have been this season, the Lions are still a team that as long as they're healthy offensively can give other teams fits. Plus, this is the second half of the season and we know about the Vikes' notorious 2nd half collapses. Won't happen this Sunday at all (TAKE THE OVER at 47)...but just be weary in point spread land as the Lions have corralled Adrian Peterson in the past. Minnesota 34 Detroit 21

Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-7): Seven points is A LOT. But it actually makes sense. The Bengals barely beat the Steelers minus Troy Polamalu at home after the Steelers came apart in the second half of that game. I can't see the Bengals sweeping them either. Even on a short week look for Big Ben & company to dissect this much improved defense...while slowing down Cedric Benson. Pittsburgh 28 Cincinnati 17

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+10) @ Miami Dolphins: The Dolphins are just dreadful at covering huge spreads. Tampa has some rare momentum after their upset of the week last week and I look for them to continue playing hard here. Miami 24 Tampa Bay 21

Denver Broncos @ Washington Redskins (+3.5): Maybe it's my blind disdain for the Broncos but they have disappeared on the offensive side of the ball. The Redskins do actually have a defense...it's just that their offensively inept. This game screams the UNDER 37. I actually give the Skins the edge (even minus Clinton Portis) since the Broncos are traveling on a short week and the last time they were on the Beltway it didn't end so well. Washington 17 Denver 14

Kansas City Chiefs (+2) @ Oakland Raiders: The game of the weak. UNDER 36.5 ALL. DAY. AND. ALL. NIGHT. Kansas City 17 Oakland 10

Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals (-8.5): Why the Cardinals are only 1-3 at home is baffling...but they're facing a Seattle team they had no problems dispatching on the road AS A 3 POINT UNDERDOG. Vegas was on crack that week, this time...not so much. Sensing the 49ers still lurking in the division, look for a beatdown. Arizona 34 Seattle 14

Dallas Cowboys (-3) @ Green Bay Packers: As long as Perez Hilton could penetrate that offensive line (and no not in that fashion) of Green Bay's...I can't take Green Bay all that seriously. The Cowboys are in their perennial November surge where everything is clicking. Romo isn't making mistakes and their defense has stepped it up a couple notches. Dallas 27 Green Bay 21

Philadelphia Eagles @ San Diego Chargers (-1): The Eagles were exposed last week as a big-play team. When you can't hit the home run, they are pedestrian at best. The Chargers are peaking at the right time and suddenly not only find themselves in great shape in the playoff hunt, but right there in the division with Denver. Look for Rivers to continue his strong play and have a big day. San Diego 31 Philadelphia 21

New England Patriots (+2.5) @ Indianapolis Colts: The game of the week. I'd avoid this game at ALL COSTS but I have to make an educated guess. How Peyton Manning is still able to do it is a testament to him being the smartest QB in the NFL hands down. The Patriots however are playing much better football lately and with several huge matchups upcoming do not for one second believe that they won't be focused. I'd actually flirt with the under here since both defenses seem to know each other well...unfortunately I see the Colts' 17 game winning streak come to an end. New England 24 Indianapolis 21

Baltimore Ravens (-11) @ Cleveland Browns: The last time the Browns had a Monday night game at home, bettors had epic nightmares as not only did the Browns upset the Giants but they walloped them 35-14. Well, don't worry about that this time. Welcome to Under City, USA. Baltimore 27 Cleveland 7

NFL Week 9 Bettors Guide.

2009-11-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

Had an atrocious week last week to put me below .500 ATS for the first time this season.

Last Week: 7-6 straight up & 3-10 against the spread
Overall: 66-34 straight up & 49-50-1 against the spread

Miami Dolphins (+10.5) @ New England Patriots: Pats have been world beaters the past two weeks...albeit it has been against the Bucs and Titans and they are fresh off of a bye. Meanwhile, if it wasn't for Ted Ginn Jr, the Dolphins would have gotten rocked by my Jets. Sounds like a mismatch...but this is a team that gives others fits. New England 27 Miami 20

Kansas City Chiefs (+6.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars: I hate Jaguars games with a passion. When you think they'll win...they lose or struggle. When you think they'll get rocked...they win or put up a fight. The Chiefs try hard and with Jekyll and Hyde in the house they may very well pull this one out. Kansas City 23 Jacksonville 20- OT

Baltimore Ravens @ Cincinnati Bengals (-3): The Bengals own the Ravens for some reason...and they have proven they are for real. The Ravens are no slouch either and put Denver in their place...but all that did was expose who Denver is- smoke and mirrors. A high scoring game but the Bengals come out on top. Cincinnati 28 Baltimore 24

Green Bay Packers (-9.5) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Angry Packers team + Worst Team in NFL= oy. Green Bay 31 Tampa Bay 10

Arizona Cardinals (+3) @ Chicago Bears: They are who we thought they were! Or are they? The Bears are as average as they come...but they did lay the smackdown on the Browns. The Cardinals looked horrible against a Panthers teams looking for redemption and it's also hard to get a read on them. I just have more trust though in a team like Arizona to get up in a game like this. Arizona 24 Chicago 21

Washington Redskins @ Atlanta Falcons (-10): Ugh. Atlanta 24 Washington 9

Houston Texans (+9) @ Indianapolis Colts: The Colts aren't invincible...as the 49ers proved last week. The Texans look better every week...but were dealt a huge blow with the loss of Owen Daniels for the season. Nevertheless they always get up to face the class of the AFC South and a win here will serve notice to the rest of the NFL. Do they do it here...no. Do they earn respect tho? Absolutely. Indianapolis 31 Houston 24

Carolina Panthers (+13) @ New Orleans Saints: You ever had a weird feeling about a game? The Panthers swept the Saints last year, and actually held them to 7 points last year in a game. SEVEN. The Saints have never had this much attention squared on them before and the Panthers after making a statement in Arizona last week are gonna be feeling high for this one. Upset City. Carolina 30 New Orleans 27

Detroit Lions @ Seattle Seahawks (-10): Shakes head. Seattle 31 Detroit 10

Tennessee Titans @ San Francisco 49ers (-4.5): Titans actually looked good last week. Which 49ers team will show up however? They've given the Texans and Colts fits and those are the better teams in the AFC South. The Titans...not so much tho. San Francisco 27 Tennessee 14

San Diego Chargers @ New York Giants (-4.5): Schizophrenia meets Slump. With the Chargers traveling east you cannot trust them. NY Giants 27 San Diego 21

Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles (-3): TAKE THE OVER. Philadelphia 34 Dallas 27

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) @ Denver Broncos: The Broncos get these magical Mile High Powers but not Monday Night. Pittsburgh 24 Denver 16

And so on.

NFL Week 8 Bettors Guide.

2009-11-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

Last Week: 9-4 straight up & 5-7-1 against the spread.
Overall: 59-28 straight up & 46-40-1 against the spread.

Express time.

Houston Texans (-3.5) @ Buffalo Bills: Bills have fucked with me the past 2 weeks. 3 times is a charm however since they'll actually be playing a team with an offense this time. Houston 27 Buffalo 17

Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets (-3.5): Honestly I'd tell you to stay away from this one because it's helter skelter but for some reason the Jets have an 11-game winning streak in 1pm games. It extends today after a last minute Miami drive falls short this time. NY Jets 24 Miami 20

San Francisco 49ers @ Indianapolis Colts (-13): Ha. Indianapolis 31 San Francisco 13

St. Louis Rams @ Detroit Lions (-3.5): The Rams have a legit chance in this game no bullshit. They just won't win that's all. Detroit 24 St. Louis 17

Seattle Seahawks @ Dallas Cowboys (-10): Seattle doesn't travel well whatsoever and they usually get blitzed. They fared horribly last year in the D and I expect more of the same this week. Dallas 34 Seattle 20

Cleveland Browns (+12.5) @ Chicago Bears: Do you really trust the Bears with that many points?? Fuck outta here. Chicago 21 Cleveland 13

Denver Broncos (+4.5) @ Baltimore Ravens: Time for me to stop doubting the Broncos who are one of two teams with a perfect record ATS (the Saints are the other). They know how to finish games while the Ravens cannot. Denver 24 Baltimore 21

NY Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles (+1.5): The Giants are in a funk and I don't see it ending this week...even with the Eagles on a short week. Philadelphia 27 NY Giants 20

Oakland Raiders @ San Diego Chargers (-16.5): The question though is which Raiders team will we see? Will it be the one that tried valiantly against the Chargers & beat the Eagles? Or will it be the one that got annihilated by the New York teams? I lean on the latter. San Diego 35 Oakland 10

Jacksonville Jaguars (+3) @ Tennessee Titans: What? Jacksonville 21 Tennessee 14

Carolina Panthers @ Arizona Cardinals (-10): In the playoffs last year Jake Delhomme had a nightmare for the ages against the defending NFC champs. Oh and guess who has the NFL's top rated rush defense? If the Cards force Delhomme to throw again even with their 30th ranked pass defense...look out. Arizona 31 Carolina 17

Minnesota Vikings @ Green Bay Packers (-3.5): You be the judge. Does Favre make a triumphant return to Lambeau? I say no. I say stay away also but I have to make a choice here. Green Bay 28 Minnesota 21

Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints (-11.5): Monday Night in the Superdome= Raucous. Yezzir. Take the over and RUN. New Orleans 41 Atlanta 27

And so on

NFL Week 7 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-24T20:22:00.001-07:00

Last Week: 10-4 straight up & 9-5 against the spread.
Overall: 50-24 straight up & 41-33 against the spread.

Not too shabby...let's keep it goin. Gonna be brief this week tho.

Minnesota Vikings (+6) @ Pittsburgh Steelers: You can sense this being a game that the Vikings could win straight up...but it'll go down to a game-winning field goal I believe. Pittsburgh 27 Minnesota 24

New England Patriots (-14.5) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Ha. New England 38 Tampa Bay 14

Indianapolis Colts (-14) @ St. Louis Rams: The Rams won in Week 7 last year at home against the Cowboys BY 20. Something tells me they won't win Sunday. They played hard last week I'll give them that though. Indianapolis 31 St. Louis 13

San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs (+5): The Chiefs are beasts ATS in divisional games especially at home. San Diego 23 Kansas City 20- OT

San Francisco 49ers @ Houston Texans (-3): The Texans are beginning to feel it on offense. Michael Crabtree makes his debut and will certainly help SF's vertical passing game but you're not gonna outgun the Texans. Houston 34 San Francisco 21

Green Bay Packers (-9) @ Cleveland Browns: The Browns have been playing much better recently and they have covered the last 3 games. That streak ends this Sunday however. Green Bay 27 Cleveland 17

New York Jets @ Oakland Raiders (+6): When this game came out on the schedule for my boys, I marked it as an immediate L just because of our traveling woes west and especially in Oakland. This game is blacked out in Oakland by the way. The Jets are also 0-8 straight up/against the spread in road games in October their last 8 games. Upset of the week. Oakland 14 NY Jets 10

Buffalo Bills @ Carolina Panthers (-7): *Sucks teeth* Carolina 20 Buffalo 7

Atlanta Falcons (+4.5) @ Dallas Cowboys: This is more of a gut pick than anything else. I feel that Matty Ice and the Falcons will get the job done in what will be a very good game. Atlanta 27 Dallas 23

Chicago Bears @ Cincinnati Bengals (PK): Another interesting game that'll probably go down to the wire. The Bengals have more weapons offensively however and should get this job done. Cincinnati 23 Chicago 17

New Orleans Saints (-6.5) @ Miami Dolphins: The Dolphins will get their points running that Wildcat but the Saints are a virtual pinball machine. New Orleans 38 Miami 21

Arizona Cardinals @ New York Giants (-7): Seething over being totally embarrassed in the Bayou, I believe this will be a statement game for the G-Men. Plus, the Cardinals were horrible in their previous Sunday Night Football game. NY Giants 31 Arizona 17

Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins (+7): It's not like the Redskins have been annihilated in their losses (they've lost by 6, 5, 4 and 8) but it's just the embarrassing nature of them (losing to previously winless Detroit, Kansas City and Carolina). They always play the Eagles tough at FedEx and though no victory...will give them some confidence moving forward. Philadelphia 17 Washington 13

And so on.

NFL Week 6 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 8-6 straight up & 5-9 against the spread
Overall: 40-20 straight up & 32-28 against the spread

Let's pick up the pace here.

Kansas City Chiefs (+6.5) @ Washington Redskins: The Chiefs try hard. The Redskins seemingly don't and they are dreadful this year as favorites. How easy can your schedule possibly be??? The Rams, Lions, Bucs and now Chiefs have combined for OONE win this year (and that was when the Lions beat yall)...Not to mention they allowed for the Panthers to get THEIR first win of the year last week. One of two things will happen: The Skins play uninspired and barely win, or the Chiefs after that close call vs. the Cowboys stun the Skins. I'm leaning towards the latter. Kansas City 17 Washington 14

New York Giants @ New Orleans Saints (-3): A lot is made of how great the Giants are on the road and considering they're the most complete team in the NFL...why are they 3 point underdogs? Both teams basically had byes last week...even if the Giants actually had an opponent and should be rested. This will be the Giants defense's 2nd real test of the year though and they didn't do all too great at Dallas; but the O bailed them out. With Eli not exactly at 100% though I'm not sure if they will this time. New Orleans 28 NY Giants 24

Carolina Panthers (-3) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: This doesn't really deserve a write-up. Just know the Bucs are a rudderless ship and the Panthers should run at will. Carolina 24 Tampa Bay 7

Houston Texans (+5) @ Cincinnati Bengals: How do the Bengals do it? They just love to go down to the wire and are as good as it gets in that element. I can see this game being yet another one. Houston has failed twice in the past 3 weeks in that exact situation. But you know what happens in the NFL. *Sings Redemption Song* Houston 27 Cincinnati 24

Baltimore Ravens (+2.5) @ Minnesota Vikings: Brett Favre hasn't fared so well against the Ravens in his career...but this is a shell of the old Ravens' defense. However, the opportunistic yet poor secondary of the Vikings will be in for an interesting show from Flacco & company however and I see the Birds stealing one and giving the Vikes their first L. Baltimore 31 Minnesota 23

Cleveland Browns @ Pittsburgh Steelers (-14): Only thing to be cautious about is that the Steelers are 1-4 ATS and the Browns have covered their last 2 games. Got that? Okay...carry on. Pittsburgh 28 Cleveland 6

St. Louis Rams @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-9.5): You will not see me take the Rams to cover the rest of the year. Jacksonville 27 St. Louis 7

Detroit Lions (+13.5) @ Green Bay Packers: I mean damn we know the Packers can score but it's not as if their defense is all that great...at least not enough to cover. Green Bay 34 Detroit 27

Philadelphia Eagles (-14) @ Oakland Raiders: Are you kidding me? Let's just say I got some free play money and threw it all on this spread. Philadelphia 38 Oakland 10

Arizona Cardinals (+3) @ Seattle Seahawks: A typical NFC West umimpress-fest. Arizona 21 Seattle 17

Tennessee Titans @ New England Patriots (-9): The Pats are gonna be in a rage this week...all in the meantime the Titans are about as uninspired as you can get. NIGHTMARES. New England 31 Tennessee 13

Buffalo Bills (+9.5) @ New York Jets: It's a 415pm game. Bad news for my boys ha. Seething over last week's BS at Miami, our defense will put the clamps down on this talented but confused Bills' offense...but the Bills' defense isn't terrible either. NY Jets 20 Buffalo 13

Chicago Bears @ Atlanta Falcons (-3): This will be a good game...the Falcons got it all together last week in their unexpected blowout at San Francisco and I believe they'll continue the job here. Atlanta 27 Chicago 17

Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers (-3): I've underestimated the Broncos far too many times and I will not be fooled this time. This is your classic "let's get up for this game" for the Chargers. San Diego 23 Denver 13

And so on.

College Football Top 25 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 13-5 straight up & 6-10 against the spread
Overall: 45-13 straight up & 21-33 against the spread

We got some work to do to improve that ATS record.

Tonight:
#5 Boise State (-9) @ Tulsa (8pm- ESPN): Boise State 41 Tulsa 21

Tomorrow Night:
#8 Cincinnati @ #21 South Florida (+2.5) (730pm- ESPN): South Florida 23 Cincinnati 20

Saturday:
#20 Oklahoma vs. #3 Texas (-3.5) (Noon- ABC): Texas 27 Oklahoma 21
#7 Ohio State (-14) @ Purdue (Noon- Big Ten Network): Ohio State 28 Purdue 13
#11 Iowa @ Wisconsin (-2.5) (Noon- ESPN): Wisconsin 24 Iowa 20
Arkansas @ #1 Florida (-24.5) (330pm- CBS): Florida 45 Arkansas 17
#23 Houston (-17) @ Tulane (330pm): Houston 42 Tulane 20
#6 USC @ #25 Notre Dame (+10.5) (330pm- NBC): USC 28 Notre Dame 24
Minnesota (+17) @ #14 Penn State (330pm- ABC regional): Penn State 31 Minnesota 21
Texas Tech @ #15 Nebraska (-10.5) (330pm- ABC regional): Nebraska 38 Texas Tech 24
Colorado State @ #12 TCU (-22) (4pm): TCU 31 Colorado State 7
#4 Virginia Tech (-3) @ #19 Georgia Tech (6pm- ESPN2): Virginia Tech 31 Georgia Tech 27
#18 BYU (-17) @ San Diego State (6pm): BYU 45 San Diego State 14
#17 Kansas (-9.5) @ Colorado (7pm- FSN): Kansas 34 Colorado 21
#9 Miami(FL) @ UCF (+14.5) (730pm): Miami (FL) 31 UCF 17
#22 South Carolina @ #2 Alabama (-17) (745pm- ESPN): Alabama 30 South Carolina 10
Missouri @ #16 Oklahoma State (-7) (915pm- ESPN2): Oklahoma State 38 Missouri 28
#24 Utah (-16.5) @ UNLV (10pm): Utah 34 UNLV 14

FINAL

NFL Week 5 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 10-4 straight up & 6-8 against the spread.
Overall: 32-14 straight up & 27-19 against the spread.

Minnesota Vikings @ St. Louis Rams (+10): I'm probably buggin here...but the Vikes are comin off of an emotional win on Monday night against the Packers and might take these Lambs for granted. After all, they've only scored 26 points all season and teams have scored 3 defensive TDs on them already. This is not sayin that the Vikes will lose, hell no. I'm just tellin yall to be a little cautious here (see Bengals-Browns last week). Minnesota 24 St. Louis 17

Cincinnati Bengals (+8.5) @ Baltimore Ravens: The over/under of 42 is way too low. Anyhow Vegas doesn't respect the Bengals, but you should. They can keep this game close because the Ravens' defense is a shell of its former self...whilst the Bengals' defense has gotten better. Baltimore 27 Cincinnati 24

Washington Redskins @ Carolina Panthers (-4): *Pukes*. Carolina 20 Washington 9

Pittsburgh Steelers (-10.5) @ Detroit Lions: If Polamalu comes back...look out. The way Pitt was able to gash the Chargers on D, they should have absolutely no problem doing so with Detroit's D. They do need to work on their propensity to sleep in the 2nd half of games but they'll be fine. Pittsburgh 31 Detroit 10

Dallas Cowboys (-8) @ Kansas City Chiefs: The Cowboys have become that team that can feast on vastly inferior competition...but when the going gets tough, they come up short. They'll get the job done Sunday without much of an issue. Dallas 27 Kansas City 17

Oakland Raiders @ New York Giants (-15.5): We got some HUGE spreads this week and this one is the biggest. I don't care though if Eli plays or not, Oakland not only is traveling out east to face arguably the league's best D, but they have Jamarcus Russell. Keep in mind they only scored SIX against the Texans' D. SIX. Oy. NY Giants 31 Oakland 3

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Philadelphia Eagles (-15): This will be pretty similar to the Chiefs game in week 3 for these Eagles. Sure their D isn't all that anymore but who are the Bucs on offense? Philadelphia 34 Tampa Bay 14

Cleveland Browns (+6) @ Buffalo Bills: The Bills are a team that looks completely out of sync. The past 2 weeks they've been outscored 65-17 and it has not looked pretty. Cleveland nearly pulled off the upset last week and although they had a shakeup trading Braylon Edwards...it might actually be for the best. The Browns came to Buffalo last year and stole one. Deja vu. Cleveland 21 Buffalo 17

Atlanta Falcons @ San Francisco 49ers (-2.5): The Falcons just don't travel all that well. The 49ers are just solid in all phases and get the job done once again at home in what should be a close game between two evenly matched squads. San Francisco 21 Atlanta 17

Jacksonville Jaguars (+1) @ Seattle Seahawks: I'm tired of underestimating the Jaguars and overestimating the Seahawks so here goes. Jacksonville 24 Seattle 14

Houston Texans @ Arizona Cardinals (-5.5): This will be a shootout for the ages. Both defenses have looked awful while both offenses have been lighting it up and you will get to see two of the premiere WRs in the game in Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald. The Cards coming off of a bye should be the fresher team and will need to get back to form in order to be taken seriously. Arizona 38 Houston 30

New England Patriots (-3) @ Denver Broncos: I still don't take the Broncos seriously even after that come from behind win over Dallas. These two teams always seem to play each other. Should also be interesting with Belichick and Josh McDaniels squaring off with each other...surprised that ESPN hasn't built that up more ha. This will be Denver's first true test on defense and they will fail. Of course however, I don't mind if I'm wrong. New England 27 Denver 13

Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans (+3.5): You see a 4-0 team at an 0-4 team and yet the undefeated team is only favored by this much? Easy win right? Ehh...the Titans always play the Colts really tough whether at home or away and although Peyton Manning has been nothing short of amazing, somehow and someway I am gonna call an upset. Tennessee 23 Indianapolis 20

New York Jets (-1.5) @ Miami Dolphins: My guys are 5-18 straight up in non 1pm games since 2006. They do however get the job done at Landshark Stadium, winning their last three there. The last time a Rex Ryan D faced the Dolphins, the Ravens absolutely stifled them and their wildcat in the postseason and I expect Sanchez & Co. to bounce back against a tough Dolphins D. NY Jets 20 Miami 10

FINAL.

College Football Top 25 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 15-2 straight up & 8-8 against the spread.
Overall: 32-8 straight up & 15-23 against the spread.

Tonight:
#21 Nebraska @ #24 Missouri (+3.5) (9pm- ESPN)- Missouri 30 Nebraska 24

Saturday:
Boston College (+13.5) @ #5 Virginia Tech (Noon)- Virginia Tech 20 Boston College 14
Eastern Illinois @ #14 Penn State (NL) (Noon- ESPN Classic)- Penn State 38 Eastern Illinois 7
#17 Auburn (-2.5) @ Arkansas (Noon- ESPN)- Auburn 38 Arkansas 31
#15 Oklahoma State (-5.5) @ Texas A&M (1230pm)- Oklahoma State 37 Texas A&M 28
Iowa State @ #16 Kansas (-19.5) (1230pm)- Kansas 45 Iowa State 21
Kentucky (+9.5) @ #25 South Carolina (1230pm)- South Carolina 21 Kentucky 13
#3 Alabama (-5) @ #20 Mississippi (330pm- CBS)- Alabama 27 Mississippi 17
Wisconsin (+16) @ #9 Ohio State (330pm- ABC regional)- Wisconsin 24 Ohio State 21
#13 Oregon (-3.5) @ UCLA (330pm- ABC regional)- Oregon 31 UCLA 20
Baylor @ #19 Oklahoma (-25.5) (330pm- ABC regional)- Oklahoma 45 Baylor 14
Florida A&M @ #11 Miami(FL) (NL) (7pm)- Miami(FL) 38 Florida A&M 10
Colorado (+32.5) @ #2 Texas (715pm- ESPN)- Texas 48 Colorado 19
#10 TCU (-10) @ Air Force (730pm)- TCU 24 Air Force 10
#1 Florida @ #4 LSU (+7.5) (8pm- CBS)- LSU 28 Florida 24
#22 Georgia Tech @ Florida State (-3) (8pm- ESPN2)- Florida State 30 Georgia Tech 23
Michigan (+8) @ #12 Iowa (805pm- ABC)- Iowa 24 Michigan 21
#18 BYU @ UNLV (+17) (10pm)- BYU 37 UNLV 24

FINAL

NFL Week 4 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 11-5 straight up; 10-6 against the spread.
Overall: 22-10 straight up; 21-11 against the spread.

Cincinnati Bengals (-6) @ Cleveland Browns: You would expect a letdown from the Bengals after that emotional come from behind win over the Steelers. But these are the Browns we're talkin about here. Derek Anderson gives the Browns a better chance to score...but that's about it ha. Cincinnati 24 Cleveland 7

Detroit Lions (+10) @ Chicago Bears: The Lions are lookin to build a winning streak! They won't do it here, but with their new-found confidence I expect it to be somewhat close. The Bears are a team that doesn't scare me. Chicago 27 Detroit 21

Oakland Raiders @ Houston Texans (-8.5): The Texans' defense is pretty bad- especially against the run- and if Oakland isn't forced to pass then all bets are off. But even with Nmandi Ashomuga locked in on Andre Johnson, the Texans have too many weapons on offense and should get the job done. Houston 31 Oakland 13

Seattle Seahawks @ Indianapolis Colts (-10): Seattle is an atrocious traveling team. If this game was at 4:15 I'd have them covering but Indianapolis is gonna have a field day, even without Dwight Freeney. Indianapolis 34 Seattle 10

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7.5) @ Washington Redskins: I mean when you looked at the schedule and you see the Rams, Lions and Bucs all in a row, you should salivate. But these Redskins are pretty awful themselves. Anyhow, this game is gonna be another brutal one to watch. Washington 10 Tampa Bay 9

Tennessee Titans (-3) @ Jacksonville Jaguars: This game is gonna be blacked out in Jacksonville, which is a shame. I just can't see the Titans start out 0-4...but this will be a close game per usual in this AFC South rivalry. Tennessee 20 Jacksonville 14

New York Giants @ Kansas City Chiefs (+8.5): This is one of those games where I can see the Giants sleepwalking and keeping the Chiefs in the game for much longer than they should. The Chiefs try hard. New York 24 Kansas City 17

Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots (-1.5): The fact that the over/under is 44.5 is laughable because both defenses just aren't the same as they used to be. Can someone say shootout? New England 31 Baltimore 28

Buffalo Bills (pick'em) @ Miami Dolphins: Ehhhh. Buffalo 20 Miami 10

New York Jets (+7) @ New Orleans Saints: GAME OF THE WEEK. Where's the respect from Vegas for my boys? I understand the Saints average 40ppg but they have yet to face a respectable defense. Drew Brees has the weapons to dissect teams, but how will the offensive line fare in their first test? The Jets have already shut down 2 powerful offenses in Houston and New England and while they won't shut down the Saints...they should contain them. I am picking the upset. New York 27 New Orleans 17

St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49ers (-9.5): The Niners will take out their frustrations here and do so with a vengance. San Francisco 34 St. Louis 9

Dallas Cowboys (-3) @ Denver Broncos: Okay Denver, you're facing a real offense now. Dallas 24 Denver 13

San Diego Chargers (+6.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Truthfully I would avoid this game at all costs but hey I have to make a selection right? Pittsburgh 23 San Diego 17

Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings (-3): It's gonna be a fun game to watch. Green Bay usually has nightmares at the dome and the Vikings have a ton of momentum. Minnesota 31 Green Bay 21.

And so on.

College Football Top 25 Bettors Guide.

2009-10-02T14:50:00.001-07:00

Last week: 17-6 straight up & 7-15 against the spread. I'm gonna be brief tonight & give you scores.

Tonight's game:
Utah State (+23.5) @ #20 BYU (9pm)- BYU 38 Utah State 21

Tomorrow's action:
#6 Virginia Tech (-16.5) @ Duke (Noon)- Virginia Tech 31 Duke 13
#22 Michigan (+3.5) @ Michigan State (Noon- Big Ten Network)- Michigan 28 Michigan State 24
Arkansas State @ #13 Iowa (-21.5) (1205pm- ESPN2)- Iowa 34 Arkansas State 10
#3 Alabama (-16.5) @ Kentucky (1221pm)- Alabama 42 Kentucky 20
#10 Cincinnati (-29) @ Miami(OH) (1pm)- Cincinnati 49 Miami(OH) 7
#4 LSU (+3.5) @ #18 Georgia (330pm- CBS)- LSU 31 Georgia 27
#15 Penn State (-7) @ Illinois (330pm- ABC regional)- Penn State 28 Illinois 17
#21 Mississippi (-10) @ Vanderbilt (7pm- ESPNU)- Mississippi 34 Vanderbilt 14
#9 Ohio State (-17.5) @ Indiana (7pm- Big Ten Network)- Ohio State 28 Indiana 7
#25 Georgia Tech @ Mississippi State (+5.5) (730pm)- Georgia Tech 27 Mississippi State 24
UC-Davis @ #5 Boise State (NL) (8pm)- Boise State 61 UC-Davis 10
#7 USC (-4) @ #24 California (8pm- ABC regional)- USC 27 California 17
#8 Oklahoma @ #17 Miami(FL) (+8) (8pm- ABC regional)- Miami(FL) 31 Oklahoma 24
SMU @ #11 TCU (-28) (8pm)- TCU 38 SMU 0
#12 Houston (-14.5) @ UTEP (905pm)- Houston 52 UTEP 24
Washington State (+35) @ #16 Oregon (915pm)- Oregon 49 Washington State 17

And so on.

NFL Week 3 Bettors Guide.

2009-09-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

Last Week: 11-5 straight up and against the spread.

Tennessee Titans @ New York Jets (-3): This is gonna be a hella tough game for my boys because we're coming off such an emotional high in last week's game...not to mention not only do the Titans not want to fall 0-3; but they want revenge from the beatdown they received in Nashville last year to end their undefeated stretch. A lot of the experts don't believe the Jets will win this game (of course) but Rex Ryan will make sure to bring us back to reality and focus on the task at hand. Low scoring for sure. New York 17 Tennessee 10

Green Bay Packers (-6.5) @ St. Louis Rams: The Rams have no pulse...the only reason why they were in the game last week is because the Redskins have a putrid offense. Packers= much better offense. Get the hell outta here 6.5. It could be 11.5 I'd still take the Pack. Green Bay 28 St. Louis 10

Washington Redskins @ Detroit Lions (+6.5): How do the Redskins respond? Similar schedule to last year where they got to play the Rams AND Lions yet they find a way to struggle to both. This game has been blacked out in Detroit because there were 10,000 unsold seats...but hey this is Detroit's best chance to win. Neither team know how to play 60 minutes of football but guess what, Detroit wins Sunday! Detroit 20 Washington 14

Kansas City Chiefs @ Philadelphia Eagles (-8.5): The Eagles are in a quandry, with Kevin Kolb slated to start for the second consecutive week. However this does mark the return of Michael Vick. Don't be fooled by KC's defense, they only looked good last week because Jamarcus Russell is the most erratic QB in the NFL. It probably doesn't matter who's under center...the Eagles will get the job done. Philadelphia 34 Kansas City 17

Atlanta Falcons @ New England Patriots (-4): I love the Falcons, they just are so fundamentally sound on both sides of the ball. The Patriots are being nit-picked like crazy...just deal with it the Jets simply were the better team last week Jesus. With that said, the Patriots should rebound in a game they need to have. They don't lose consecutive games. New England 24 Atlanta 17

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Houston Texans (-3.5): The Jaguars are simply not that good. The Texans got it together last week and that story continues here. Houston 27 Jacksonville 13

San Francisco 49ers (+7) @ Minnesota Vikings: Yes, count me in as one who's sold on this Niners squad. They're another team that doesn't wow you but their run game is on point & defense is solid. Minnesota is very similar. Adrian Peterson is a tad nicked up but he's fine he's gonna strap on those boots and be ready to rock. With that said though, I smell an upset. San Francisco 24 Minnesota 21

Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens (-13): Child please. Baltimore 34 Cleveland 10

New York Giants (-6.5) @ Tampa Bay Bucs: We know about the Giants' injuries and they just got dealt a huge blow with Kenny Phillips out for the year and Justin Tuck listed out. But hey, if you're gonna pick a time to lick your wounds it's their 3 week stretch of TB, KC and OAK. Doesn't get much easier than that. With that said, I think the Bucs will be game and give the spread a scare. But the outcome will never be in doubt. New York 28 Tampa Bay 17

New Orleans Saints (-6) @ Buffalo Bills: You can't stop this offense, you can only hope to contain them. The main reason why it's tough to cover much less beat the Saints at this point is because they score so often/quick that they force other offenses to speed up their tempo...and it ain't gonna happen. New Orleans 38 Buffalo 21

Chicago Bears @ Seattle Seahawks (+2): Well Hasselbeck might not play and that has a lot to do with Seattle being the underdog in this one...but I think in the end, the Seahawks' defense will keep them in it and there's no shame with Seneca Wallace running the show- he's more than capable of filling in. Seattle 20 Chicago 17

Pittsburgh Steelers (-4) @ Cincinnati Bengals: If the Bengals treat this game like the Jets treated the Patriots last week then I will regret this pick. Nevertheless though, Ben Roethlisberger just doesn't lose in the state of Ohio and while the Bengals' defense will be game...can their offense make it 2 straight solid games. I'm not 100% sure. Pittsburgh 24 Cincinnati 17

Miami Dolphins (+6) @ San Diego Chargers: The Chargers have burned me twice it will not happen again. Or so I think. Miami's coming off a well-played game in which they still couldn't win. That's very worrysome. However, their defense is well-rested and the slow Chargers will win, yet not cover. San Diego 24 Miami 20

Denver Broncos @ Oakland Raiders (+2): Yeah, I think so. Oakland 16 Denver 9

Indianapolis Colts (+2.5) @ Arizona Cardinals: What, no love for the Cardinals? I understand, I mean the Colts have to be exhausted on defense and on a short week it's no fun facing a Cardinals team at that University of Phoenix stadium which will be ROCKIN. But after that scintillating performance by Peyton Manning, I just can't doubt him. I really can't. Shootout in the desert which will be fun for everyone on SNF. Indianapolis 31 Arizona 28

Carolina Panthers (+8.5) @ Dallas Cowboys: Ehhhh...could go either way in terms of the spread...but any offense led by Jake Delhomme ain't gonna win you shit. Dallas 24 Carolina 17

And so on.

College Football Top 25 Bettors Guide.

2009-09-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

Season Debut.

#1 Florida @ Kentucky (+22.5)- 6pm (ESPN2): The spread covering beasts from Gainesville actually didn't cover last week vs. the Vols in a game many thought Urban Meyer would try to blow a team out the water. Curious to see what happens here in Florida's first road game of the season. They'll get the job done but it'll be closer than the experts think. Florida 45 Kentucky 24

UTEP @ #2 Texas (-36)- 330pm (FSN): UT is actually 0-3 ATS this season; as their offense hasn't been as explosive as everyone has envisioned. I think though they'll be unleashed against a UTEP squad that has no concept of defense. Texas 59 UTEP 14

Arkansas (+17.5) @ #3 Alabama- 330pm (CBS): Bama is a tricky team; as they can blow you out the water (see game vs. North Texas last week) or they will have a stretch in a game where they stagnate just enough to not cover. This will be one of those games and they will barely not cover. Alabama 31 Arkansas 17

#4 Mississippi (-3.5) @ South Carolina- 730pm Thursday (ESPN): These two teams are more evenly matched than people think...and for Ole Miss this will be their first true test of the season to prove their lofty ranking. I think they'll be fine. Mississippi 23 South Carolina 13

Iowa @ #5 Penn State (-9.5)- 8pm (ABC): I've flip flopped all week as to who I think will cover. Then I need to consider it's a night game at Happy Valley + the revenge Penn State is willing to seek and those add up well enough for me. Penn State 28 Iowa 14

#6 California @ Oregon (+5.5)- 330pm (ABC): The line has shifted two points in Oregon's favor since it first came out and with due reason; Autzen Stadium while not as intimidating as it used to be, is still a difficult place for an opponent. I look for Jahvid Best to continue getting the job done, but Oregon will be fired up to prove that they're a part of the Pac-10 elite and regain their respect. Upset Alert of the Week: Oregon 34 California 31.

#7 LSU (-12.5) @ Mississippi State- 1220pm: Starksville can be a trap place for an opponent and LSU could catch themselves looking ahead to next week's revenge game at Georgia...but Mississippi State just doesn't have it anymore. LSU 31 Mississippi State 7

#8 Boise State @ Bowling Green (+16.5)- 7pm: These games boggle my mind because you never know what to expect from them. We know Boise can get the job done and they will...but a team like BG I bet will be willing to pull out all the stops and find a way to cover. Barely. Boise State 37 Bowling Green 21

#9 Miami (FL) (-2.5) @ #11 Virginia Tech- 330pm (ABC): Game of the Week. Both teams have the capability of producing the big play so defenses need to be put on high alert. Blacksburg is gonna be rowdy but the U has already had one tough road test at Florida State so it shouldn't affect them. Plus, their team speed will give Tech fits similar to what Alabama was able to do to them. Miami (FL) 30 Virginia Tech 21

Washington State @ #12 USC (-45)- 1015pm (FSN): Gulp. Wazzu needed SMU to self-destruct last week just to somehow pull out a win in OT (SMU was up 24-7 in the 3rd). USC just lost. USC needs to take it out on someone. USC won 69-0 at Pullman last year. Oh no. USC 63 Washington State 3

Illinois (+14) @ #13 Ohio State- 330pm: Illinois has all the talent in the world yet they haven't found a way to put it together constantly. Here's one of these games where they could put a scare into the Buckeyes similar to the upset they pulled in 2007 in the very same venue. Ohio State is always shaky to me also. They'll get the job done but it won't be something to be proud of. Ohio State 27 Illinois 24

Fresno State (+16.5) @ #14 Cincinnati- Noon: Cincinnati is the real deal; you cannot deny this. Fresno State always tries hard in these games so they'll be able to cover; but you have to wonder if they should tone down their level of competition or have these teams travel to face them in Fresno. A garbage TD in the waning minutes makes Cincy bettors livid. Cincinnati 41 Fresno State 27

#15 TCU (+2.5) @ Clemson- 330pm: This game is VERY interesting. TCU plays like they're an ACC team themselves (solid defense; decent offense) and they are the underdogs since they're coming to Death Valley. As a non-BCS school these games are extra important for TCU and they'll get the job done straight up. TCU 21 Clemson 14

Grambling @ #16 Oklahoma State (NL): Grambling is a FCS school so there's no line. Shoot em up. Oklahoma State 52 Grambling 10

Texas Tech (pick 'em) @ #17 Houston- 915pm (ESPN2): Another very interesting affair with a team that has had 2 weeks to bask in the glow of upsetting a then top-5 team on the road. Now thrust in the national spotlight, how will they handle it? Houston will be fine...but these pinball games go down to the wire and as we saw in Austin last week, Texas Tech still has the capability of being a tough out. Plus they need to salvage some Big 12 pride here. Houston's 2 week reign being ranked comes to an end, but it won't come without a fight. Texas Tech 45 Houston 42

South Florida @ #18 Florida State (-14)- Noon: So there's word that USF's starting QB Matt Grothe is out for the season. Not good. Since it's an in-state game this one will begin tough...but FSU's talent will overwhelm USF late. Plus, they haven't given their home fans anything to cheer about yet (the BYU win was in Provo). Florida State 34 South Florida 14

Colorado State @ #19 BYU (-17)- 6pm: The Mormon squad got hit in the mouth by a much more athletic Florida State team and never recovered. With that comes picking up the pieces of whatever's left of a BCS berth and someone's gonna have to pay for it. Colorado State does have heart and can pull a trick from the hat every now and then...but I expect BYU to be focused and ready to rock. BYU 52 Colorado State 28

Southern Mississippi @ #20 Kansas (-14)- Noon: Brett Favre's alma mater is trying to re-establish themselves as a respectable program again. They barely beat an atrocious Virginia squad 37-34 at home last week. They're not ready. Kansas 42 Southern Mississippi 17

Arizona State @ #21 Georgia (-12)- 7pm: The young Bulldogs should handle the Sun Devils without much of an issue. Georgia 34 Arizona State 13

#22 North Carolina @ Georgia Tech (-2.5)- Noon: Only in the ACC can you be ranked and still an underdog. Why? Because it's like musical chairs. Fresh off of being annihilated by Miami, the Yellow Jackets squad will get the job done here. Georgia Tech 31 North Carolina 20

Indiana @ #23 Michigan (-20)- Noon: LOL. Michigan 38 Indiana 7

#24 Washington (+7.5) @ Stanford- 9pm: Whoa, talk about lack of respect. You upset the #3 team in the nation but you're being given 7.5. I mean it's with due cause, Washington was the only winless team in the nation last year but the past is the past. But you can already see a change in the air with Steve Sarkasian as coach and when Jake Lockler is healthy...this is a completely different team. Stanford is solid, but 7.5 point favorites my God. Washington pulls off the "upset". Washington 28 Stanford 23

UL-Lafayette @ #25 Nebraska (-28)- 7pm: Beware of the Rajun Cajuns. Kansas State didn't heed warning and lost to them. 2 things tho. This is in Lincoln and Nebraska is much better than K-State. Combine that with them seething over a last second heartbreaker on the road and this is a recipe for disaster. Nebraska 45 UL-Lafayette 7

And so on.

NFL Week 2 Bettors Guide.

2009-09-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

Season Debut. Last Year- 81-43-1 straight up; 58-55-1 against the spread. Playoffs: 6-5 straight up & against the spread.

Houston Texans (+6.5) @ Tennessee Titans: The Texans are coming off a humbling loss to the Jets where they got nothing going offensively. Meanwhile, the Titans did play tough on the road against the defending champions but came up just short. I don't expect Houston to have 2 consecutive clunkers especially with that offense...even if Andre Johnson now has to match up with Courtney Finnegan and that is the key. If they can keep their offense on the field in this one, their D won't get worn out by the Titans' running game. Houston 21 Tennessee 17

New Orleans Saints (-1) @ Philadelphia Eagles: What's comical about this one is that the over/under is only 46. With these 2 defensive sieves they should easily go above and beyond that. Don't let Philly's 38-10 win fool you. Jake Delhomme is the worst starting QB in the NFL...meanwhile Drew Bress is arguably the best and he will light up that secondary. The Eagles' QB situation is a bit muddy coming into it but they'll still put up points. But you simply don't outgun the Saints. New Orleans 35 Philadelphia 28

New England Patriots @ New York Jets (+3.5): Main reason why the Jets are underdogs here is because the Pats have won 8 straight at the Meadowlands. The Patriots are notorious for putting teams' foots in their mouths, but this year just feels different. A very unimpressive home victory over Buffalo left this club angry but the Jets unlike recent years are chompin at the bit. Brady looked extremely flustered against a mediocre Bills defense and with Rex Ryan's schemes I look for the frustration to continue. I normally don't bet on my boys but. New York 20 New England 14

Cincinnati Bengals (+9) @ Green Bay Packers : Don't be fooled by the Bengals' loss to the Broncos...that was a fluke play for the ages. Their D has looked extremely competent dating back to last December and although Aaron Rodgers is certainly no Kyle Orton...nine points is a LOT against a team who can match them if all the pieces fit in the puzzle. Green Bay 23 Cincinnati 17

Oakland Raiders (+3) @ Kansas City Chiefs: This seems to be the sexy underdog pick of the week and I don't blame anyone for it. The Raiders play KC very tough at Arrowhead usually and every game since 2003 has been decided by a TD or less. Both teams tried so fuckin hard last week but came up short. I expect a low scoring game as Oakland's aggressive D will keep KC off balance; however Jamarcus Russell's inadequacies will keep it close. Oakland pulls it out tho. Oakland 17 Kansas City 13

Arizona Cardinals @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-3): People are probably bewildered as to why the defending NFC champions are being given 3 points against a team in disarray such as the Jaguars. But let's face it, until the Cardinals can look competent traveling to the East Coast for a 1pm game, I will eat the -3 all day; I don't care how bad the Jags will be this year. Plus, that Super Bowl hangover needs to be treated PRONTO. Jacksonville 24 Arizona 14

Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions (+10): Call me crazy but I think the Lions will cover here. They gave the defending NFC North champions nightmares last year, as they only lost to them by 2 and 4 points in their games...not to mention they held Adrian Peterson in check (which is the key). The Vikings' pass D is suspect and anytime you have Brett Favre under center as the opposing QB...you have a chance. The Lions do. Will they win? I'd be on crack to believe that but I'm gonna give them a benefit of a doubt to cover. No question. Minnesota 23 Detroit 20

Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (-6): 6 points is a lot especially when these two teams tango...but if Carolina does not get their run game established and Delhomme has to throw...all bets are off. Atlanta 27 Carolina 14

St. Louis Rams (+9.5) @ Washington Redskins: If Jim Zorn loses for the 2nd straight year at home to the worst team in the NFL in my opinion...his hot seat will be at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. The Skins look terrible on offense, serviceable on D but there's not a chance they cover. I feel bad for anyone who has to watch this. Washington 14 St. Louis 13

Tampa Bay Bucs @ Buffalo Bills (-5): The Bucs traveling up north to face a team that is seething after blowing it last Monday is a recipe for disaster. Buffalo 31 Tampa Bay 14

Seattle Seahawks @ San Francisco 49ers (-1.5): Raise your hands if you thought the Niners would beat the Cardinals last week? Didn't think so (though ask a couple of my boys and they'll tell you I did). This will be a snoozer though, with SF getting a field goal late to make those who take em happy. San Francisco 17 Seattle 14

Baltimore Ravens @ San Diego Chargers (-3): The Chargers are the hardest team in the NFL to get a read on. Hell, both teams in general are looking to shake off disappointing victories. The Ravens do have the extra day of rest, but the Chargers have the home field and more to prove in this one. When they get up for games, they are really tough to beat. San Diego 27 Baltimore 20.

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Broncos (-3): Who cares really? Denver 10 Cleveland 6

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) @ Chicago Bears: If Jay Cutler couldn't pass on an opportunistic Packers defense...how the hell is he gonna do so against arguably the best defense in the NFL. I don't care if he's at home or away. Meanwhile, no Brian Urlacher in the middle is gonna KILL the Bears defensively. Pittsburgh 21 Chicago 10

New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys (-3): 3 seems to be the operative number for spreads this week. The Boys open up the new stadium and they will be fired up. The Giants are not pleased about this ha. As usual with these two, it will be a tough game but as usual the team that is at home usually covers and wins. No different here. Dallas 28 New York 21

Indianapolis Colts (-3) @ Miami Dolphins: Why on earth is this on Monday Night? See, this is why MNF has slipped in recent years. Colts shouldn't have much problems in their first return since winning Super Bowl 41. Indianapolis 28 Miami 13

And so on.

Say What?

2009-05-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know I haven't been bloggin all that often lately...a mix of laziness and legit gettin busy with shit. I have a cab license now- well I'm waiting in the mail for it- and in 2 weeks I'll be driving one to make some money since finding a job is impossible. Hell, I only get past the part where it says send your resume ha.

Now, remember the job with the New York Red Bull I was telling you about? They decided to send me a letter- see if you notice the glaring problem with it:

March 25, 2009

Dear DK (nah I'm not gonna put my actual name on here),

Thank you for visiting with us recently and interviewing for the Inside Sales Representative position we have available. While we have not yet filled that position, we wanted you to know that we cannot move ahead with your candidacy at this time. While your background is quite impressive, we do not feel that it matches our needs at this time. Should another position develop that more closely fits your qualification, we will reach out to you. In the interim, we do wish you the best of luck in your job seeking efforts.

The fuck are you gonna send me a letter after Memorial Day post-dated in March...which was BEFORE you STILL decided to interview me AND even gave me a call to inform me that I was a finalist for the job. Is this generic as fuck letter supposed to tell me that yall were gonna lead me on the entire time? What do yall think?

And so on.

N'Awlinz Part II.

2009-05-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

The first time I went down to New Orleans was two years ago over the summer. I stayed from Wednesday til Monday and had a dope time. This time though, it was for a different reason. One of my best friends was graduating; so we were gonna do it up big. My best friends all came through this time, instead of it just being me going down. The experience was different- but arguably better.

Thursday: Touched down, got settled, ran to a Sonic. I've never been to Sonic before and as anyone from NYC can attest- you HATE seeing those commercials they have because they make it look so effin good...but the nearest one is in South Jersey. With that said- Sonic lived up to its hype 100%. If they opened one up here...they would be the undisputed kings. You gotta try the cheesy chili tots, their chili cheese chicken wrap, their slushies in particular DEAR GOD. Afterwards, had some downtime and went to one of their friend's houses and took naps/played XBox 360...then headed over to some gym where my boy had a league game. We pregamed while over there ha with some OJ and Kettle One. Went to Ms. Maes on the way- that place got some cheap as fuck drinks for sure. $4 gets you a Double Stoli-Cranberry. Which in other words is 85% Stoli and 15% Cranberry ha. Hit up Club Republic...which is basically Webster Hall South (NOT A GOOD THING). I'll tell ya, the music is 65% Lil Wayne, 20% down south and 15% East Coast. It is what it is though. Late night food was @ Dennys where they fucked up my order even though it took 45 min to get our grub.

Friday: Woke up drunk. Didn't do much of any consequence during the day because my boy had to do quite a bit of running around with pickin up his family and droppin them off at the hotels. Stopped off at a Rite Aid WHICH SELLS LIQUOR. WHAT THE FUCK ha. Then again, that's New Orleans for you. Went to this sports bar and chilled out for a few hours playin pool and watchin the games. Began pregaming at like 1230am back at the apartment ha and went over to Bourbon Street. Sheesh, that place smells like raw ass and it is indeed a zoo out there. Got myself a Hand Grenade from this spot Tropical Isle (that shit will fuck yo ass up for sure)...then went into some random spot where for some reason or another I found myself making out with the Shot Girl and her lady friend ha. It felt like something on TV...except I was pretty trashed.

Saturday: Woke up drunk (but then again hardly slept). They have the graduation ceremony at the Lakefront Arena which is UNO's home arena (I don't even know if Xavier University of Louisiana has one ha). It's hot as balls outside but that's to be expected. My camera's batteries die and I am none too pleased by this. For some reason or another our crew splits up and my team tries in vain for an hour to find everybody (eventually we did but it was too late). We grab lunch over at this bomb ass restaurant downtown rollin 17 deep ha. Finally get back to the apartment where a couple ppl head over to play vid games while the rest of us just lamp watchin the games and debating on certain issues. I won't lie, it was a pretty deep and in-depth discussion that covered a wide array of stuff. Slowly began pregaming again when it was time for the Saturday Night Main Event. We were gonna hit up Metro and some other club but first stopped off at a hotel party. Upon arrival they basically shoved 2 shots of Patron and 1 of Cuervo in like 90 seconds into me ha. Dear God. The clubs were aight I guess but I was such in a haze I don't even really know what happened?

Sunday: Woke up drunk and didn't like the idea of having to go home but it was what it was. Went to the airport and had a Shrimp Po Boy. It was okay, but too effin greasy. Oh and that shit plus a bottle of water was SIXTEEN BUCKS. Travesty if you ask me.

And so on.

The DK and Mets Parallel.

2009-05-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

For people that do know me...yes I am a big sports fan in general. But if there is one team that is nearest and dearest to my heart...it'd have to be the New York Mets. Why them and not Los Jankees? First off, I lived in Queens ever since I was 5 and the first baseball game I went to was when I was 8. Most of the time, the Mets have been irrelevant with the exceptions being 1999, 2000 and 2006. Now they are good...but know how to break your heart, to the point where you become cynical of everything. Plus, with events that have happened to me, I couldn't help but realize they are similar to how the Mets have been for the past 3+ years.

2006- A season that was too good to be true. Won the division by what, 14 games? Tied for the best record in baseball (oddly enough with los Jankees) with a 95-67 record. Obliterated the Dodgers in the first round of the playoffs and was supposed to breeze past St. Louis, an 83 win team. Somehow though we lose in 7 games. I have a mental breakdown.

Translation in real life purposes: That summer was probably the best I ever had, livin it up in Manhattan with some close friends, gettin drunk/tipsy 4x-week. Hella relaxin with very little worries. Makin money from the summer housing job AND from Adidas. Lost about 30 pounds. Finally got my troublesome tonsils removed. Started getting attention from girls again. Had a relationship which breezed for the first 4 months but then falls apart in the last 2 months in which you're helpless to defend against.

2007- Although not as dominant as 2006, still appears like another easy NL East crown. Suddenly stop winning. Everybody knows the rest- I'm not even gonna talk about it.

Translation in real life purposes: After shaking off my slow start after March 07, get the ball rolling again. Graduated, had a relatively fun summer even though I was living at home this time, worked pretty often with Adidas so I always had side cash. Not as skinny as I was in 2006 but still presentable. Got involved in another relationship- this time one which I took my time with and felt really rewarding and proud to be in. Began thinking long-term immediately but an epic collapse of my relationship proved my undoing. This time, could not recover and became extra cynical.

2008- Started off slow (43-44) but then caught some fire after a managerial change. For the 3rd straight September had a lead in the division. This time because of injuries and the worst pen in the majors, miss the playoffs yet again.

Translation in real life purposes: Gained probably 20 pounds and could give a shit about myself. Went under a realization period and began doing something about it. Had a job at Crapple. Had my moments here and there but certainly didn't have the magic that the previous 2 years had. Figured shit wouldn't turn out right, did get an internship but lost the paying job. Became cynical again.

Thus far in 2009- Slow start. 10-13 record. Already thinking about September and October as to what will happen. Don't want to get my hopes up.

Translation in real life purposes: Not getting my hopes up for anything.

And so on.

DK's Lyric Thought of the Day.

2009-04-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

Song: Bust Your Guns by Drag-On & Juvenille.

Lyric: Do yall niggaz bust your guns? Hell yeah we bust our guns! Do yall fuck em til they cum? Damn right we make em cum!

Wait a damn minute.

If this is supposed to be a subliminal message with guns=cocks and fuckin em= females...then I can respect this. However, this is unlikely since you don't hear any females in this song. First off, not that many ppl around here go totin' their guns (the literal sense) anymore; which I guess you can say is a good thing. Secondly, why would you brag about bustin em? The last part of that lyric...I have absolutely no comment on it. You make what you want to make of it because I have NO IDEA how a gun can cum.

And so on.

DK's Lyric Thought of the Day.

2009-04-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

Even I'm surprised that I'm up this early. Not 100% why that is...I went to bed at 1:30 but I guess it has to do with that I'm hungry. Nevertheless, I digress. I was listening to my iTunes (and to be honest that's all I do now; with some Youtube searching every now and then) and as I was listening to Canibus' Second Round KO (featuring the great Mike Tyson), I heard the following:

"You may have more cash than me, but you don't have the skills to eat a nigga's ass like me."

PAUSE! Although I understand what you really tried to say, it just comes out so wrong (no pun intended). I know I don't have to skill to do something like that; nor would I ever want to so you can hold that down Canibus ha.

Otherwise, Canibus tears up LL in this song and it's a dope song indeed. LL came for a comeback which got the job done too but Canibus was able to expose LL and he wasn't the same after this brief rivalry.

And so on.

DK's Lyric Thought of the Day.

2009-04-13T22:38:00.000-07:00

I figure that I will have a new segment of my blog- where I take a few lines of a song and try to make sense of it.

Today's Song: Boom Boom Pow- Black Eyed Peas. Now, the very beginning of the song is retarded as it is with this "lemme get that boom boom boom". Don't you mean "poon poon poon"? What exactly is this boom supposed to be? A sonic boom? A boomerang? But that's not the worst part.

Lyric: "I'm so 3008/You're so 2000 and late"

Here's my thing. Are you Nostradamus or somethin being this far ahead of yourself? Are you what everyone in 3008 will be like or want to strive to be like? I doubt it seriously, and if it is, then God help us all. As far as being 2000 and late, you could be talkin about 2008, in which that case I may be a little bit behind ok fine. You could be talkin about 2000- when life was still good even though I had AOL 4.0 I think and dialup was still all the rage. Oh and when music was still alright. You could be talkin about though 2028, which means to some degree I am on ur level because I'm in the future also. Anyhow, either way you slice it, this lyric is retarded as all fuck.

And so on.

Lawdamercy.

2009-04-10T11:51:00.000-07:00

I don't understand a few things.

1) What is with u retards that get rowdy off of Sweet Caroline, Lose Your Love Tonight, Ain't No Mountain Higher and Livin' on a Prayer. You wanna know my take?
- Caroline was most likely a bitch.
- Lose Your Love Tonight is a sorry phrase for I don't wanna fuck up my chances of fuckin you tonight.
- You have to drive 2 hours to the Poconos for mountains.
- If you're livin on a prayer then you're barely gettin by and you better step ur game up.

Conversely when people actually sings truly danceable songs such as Pimpin All Over the World, you retards look like deer starin at headlights. Yes because it requires hip movement. Which you don't have. I answered my own question.

2) Why are you wearing a scarf when it's 50 degrees outside and only wearing a t-shirt? It's not a fashion statement it's a disgrace. No one can argue this with me.

3) I think we are ______ close to havin dudes wear spandex outdoors.

4) Webster Hall rejects attract Webster Hall rejects. Some chick I wanted to holla at winds up on some reject and within a minute they were makin out. Her fat friend with teeth that should be boarded up like a house before a hurricane won the award for cockblocker of the evening.

5) If I ever see a group of guys do Spice Girls ever again I'm bringin back lynching. But it'll be the Affirmative Action remix.

6) I will say though it was very refreshing not to see that many LI retards on the trains last night. That's right stay at home and repent.

Now stuff I understand:

7) I love the new Mets' bullpen. I'm pretty excited to check out Citifield on Wednesday also.

8) A return trip to Hoboken will take place probably the first weekend of May.

9) I had an interview for the ages yesterday with the New York Red Bull. In all seriousness, out of all the interviews I've been on in the past couple years or so...I had never felt so comfortable with an interview as I did yesterday. The guy was straightforward and accomodating and that's rare to see. Even though it'd be a 6 month program...6 months of gettin paid is better than 0 months paid ya dig?

10) Be on the lookout for my new spinoff website which will be created over the course of the weekend. We'll even let yall get a chance to submit your stories on there and if you wanna be a columnist on it, holla at me.

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 4/6.

2009-04-06T17:56:00.000-07:00

Saturday: 1-1. Overall: 38-23-1.

And last but not least, the National Championship game:
North Carolina (-7.5) @ Michigan State

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 4/4.

2009-04-04T11:32:00.001-07:00

Sunday: 0-2. Overall: 37-22-1.

Michigan State (+4.5) vs. UConn
Villanova (+7) vs. UNC

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/29.

2009-03-29T10:17:00.001-07:00

Yesterday: 2-0. Overall: 37-20-1.

Michigan State vs. Louisville (-7)
Oklahoma (+7) vs. UNC

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/28.

2009-03-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday: 1-3. Overall: 35-20-1.

Missouri vs. UConn (-6)
Villanova (+2) vs. Pittsburgh

And so on.

What I learned tonight.

2009-03-28T02:52:00.000-07:00

1) When my whole crew is together; nothin can ruin the night.

2) Idaho I forget even exists but it's the most underrated state in the nation.

3) Patron is still the G.O.A.T of liquors.

4) I've learned to enjoy flip cup because it's free beer you don't pay for.

5) My shirts with the crazy phrases on them as funny as they can be still don't have the pull that dressin neatly does.

6) Joder is the greatest word of all time, in any language.

7) Big East Dominance lives. Syracuse didn't get the job done but the rest of the teams left are gonna kill.

8) We overdraftin like na-na-na-na-na-naaaaa.

9) Girls only holla at you when you seem to have an agenda. Me and my boy were walkin back to the train station and after passin by Southern Hospitality one of the girls just shouted heyyyyyy. Then me and my boy stopped to talk to them and chilled for a few. But I had to meet up with the conglomerate. FUCK.

10) Quotes of the night (in no order):
a) "if I pulled a Jayson night, I wouldn't wake up until 4pm at least the next day...its not even a probably. it's happened"- Lauren
b) "I'm Cockasian"- Kiara
c) (after dancin successfully)
Me: Now that's G!
Eliza: Oh my God I'm a G???
d) "Do you have an online certification class for haters??"- Rosanna

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/27.

2009-03-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday: 3-1. Overall: 34-17-1.

Arizona vs. Louisville (-9.5)
Syracuse (-1) vs. Oklahoma
Kansas (+1) vs. Michigan State
Gonzaga (+7.5) vs. UNC

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/25.

2009-03-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday: 3-5. Overall: 31-16-1.
By Region-
East: 9-3
South: 9-2-1
Midwest: 4-8
West: 9-3

Purdue vs. UConn (-6.5)
Xavier vs. Pittsburgh (-7)
Missouri (+4.5) vs. Memphis
Villanova (+2) vs. Duke

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/22.

2009-03-22T07:19:00.001-07:00

Yesterday: 7-1. Overall: 28-11-1.

Arizona State vs. Syracuse (-2.5)
Wisconsin vs. Xavier (-4)
Dayton (+8) vs. Kansas
Cleveland State (+3) vs. Arizona
Oklahoma State vs. Pittsburgh (-8.5)
Marquette vs. Missouri (-3.5)
Southern Cal (+4) vs. Michigan State
Siena vs. Louisville (-11.5) (Note: I love how the young Saints play but today L'Ville is gonna bring the pain, especially after their lackluster performance on Friday.)

And so on.

Randomology.

2009-03-22T06:36:00.001-07:00

1) There is nowhere better than chillin in NYC. Absolutely none. Hoboken might be a distant 2nd but everywhere else seems to be in their own little fuckin bubble. Bell Boulevard, are you fuckin jokin me? All the bars say 23+ ID (which initially sounds dope because that means more mature crowd) but that's all a load of bullshit. To me I feel like if you're goin out around there or on LI or some other shit then either you're underage or refuse to leave your bubble.

2) The way people act around me sometimes I ask myself "what is it I'm missing (besides money)?"

3) I can't wait to get back to work with Adidas this Tuesday. Even if it's one day; I've been waitin for this day for 3 months. And it's perfect timing because just about all of my tax return is gone.

4) My March Madness bracket is still pretty decent. I did lose an Elite 8 team in Boston College (why I had them goin far is primarily because their PG Troy Bell is a problem) but I need Nova to get to the Final 4. My bracket is doin better than Obama's ha. The tourney itself hasn't been all that exciting; aside from a few games. Siena-Ohio State was prob the best thus far.

5) So on May 1st, WaMu officially becomes Chase and they mailed my Chase card in the mail. Fuck. I'm gonna miss WaMu and will keep my Gold card as a souvenir.

6) I've gained 3 pounds kickboxin...yet it's all muscle.

7) My Knicks just need to tank it after 2 embarassing as fuck losses to the Nets and...Sacramento Kings. By 27 at home???? They hadn't even beat an Eastern Conference team all year before that! Then of course, they're gonna play hard at Orlando (albeit lose).

8) I'm guessin this week, Obama haters have had quite a bit to cheer about. First off- his approval rating has dropped below 60% and now there's this Freudian slip that they've ALL been waiting for. Needless to say, the Special Olympics people were up in arms sayin "the damage has already been done and no apology could fix it." Dear God ha.

9) An MTA fare hike is impending. NIGHTMARES. From $2 to $2.50 per ride???

10) I was readin this shit yesterday and it just questions chicks' motives even more. But a few things about this shit:
a) She's 30 years younger than him so unless he's one of em oldish ppl on those Viva Viagra commercials I've been seein on CBS for March Madness, you know they ain't fuckin. Being 36 she's just comin out of her peak of her sexual nature so she had to get off somehow.
b) She could get it mainly bc of her long ass legs.
c) Bitchin about "only" $36 million considerin what's been poppin lately with the whole Madoff thing is askin for her to get lynched.
d) Spendin $100K/week on a fuckin racing boat is downright ludacrious but then again when you're cakin like that you're bored.
e) Of course if you're gonna be a golddigger and know your sugar-daddy is gonna peace out on yo ass you're gonna try to apologize. But it's too late to 'pologizeeeee. TOO LATEEEEE. Or so you think; but of course the cougar would get her way in the end.
f) She wanted to have children? Ha. While I do buy into that; why would you wait 4 years AFTER marriage to start having kids?

And so on.

Gambling Gods Nightmares This Month.

2009-03-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough month bettin-wise for me. I only hit ONE bet this entire month. Then again a lot of it is due to my greed.

1) Parlay (3 Teams) 03/02/09
bet 10.00 to win 113.38 Result: Wager Lost
Mavericks(Dallas) 87
Thunder(OklahomaCity) 96
Thunder(OklahomaCity) +175

Villanova 77
NotreDame 60
Over 157

Villanova 77
NotreDame 60
Villanova +135

I mean are you serious? Get the 2 underdogs right but fail to hit on the over because they refused to get into a shootout? Come the fuck on.

2) Parlay (3 Teams) 03/16/09
bet 7.77 to win 46.62 Result: Wager Lost
Raptors(Toronto) 86
Bobcats(Charlotte) 112
Under 194

Rockets(Houston) 95
Hornets(NewOrleans) 84
Under 182.5

Spurs(SanAntonio) 76
Thunder(OklahomaCity) 78
Under 187

Since when do the Bobcats know how to score???

3) Parlay (2 Teams) 03/16/09
bet 6.67 to win 17.34 Result: Wager Lost
Nets(NewJersey) 96
Nuggets(Denver) 121
Nuggets(Denver) -13.5

Nets(NewJersey) 96
Nuggets(Denver) 121
Under 204.5

Hindsight is 20/20 and the Nets were coming from a game the night before and their 2nd best player was injured...but lookin back, yeah takin the under was RETARDED.

4) Parlay (3 Teams) 03/17/09
bet 6.00 to win 151.08 Result: Wager Lost
Michigan 62
Clemson 59
Michigan +180

VaCommonwealth 64
UCLA 65
VaCommonwealth +240

WKentucky 76
Illinois 72
WKentucky +175

Hearbreak City. Maynor take a better shot PLEASE.

5) Parlay (9 Teams) 03/17/09
bet 7.33 to win 2,199.00 Result: Wager Lost
American 67
Villanova 80
Over 129

ClevelandSt 84
WakeForest 69
Over 137

Cornell 59
Missouri 78
Missouri -13

MississippiSt 58
WashingtonU 71
WashingtonU -5

Radford 58
NorthCarolina 101
Over 163.5

Temple 57
ArizonaSt 66
Under 124

Tennessee 75
OklahomaSt 77
Over 158

WKentucky 76
Illinois 72
Over 124.5

Wisconsin 61
FloridaSt 59
FloridaSt -2.5

The 3 games I lost in this one: the UNC-Radford game had 87 in the first half combined (53-34) but slowed from there on Radford's side...the Tennessee-OK State game was oh so close...and Florida State had Wisconsin down and out but it wasn't meant to be. FUCK.

6) Parlay (7 Teams) 03/18/09
bet 6.11 to win 458.25 Result: Wager Lost
CSNorthridge 70
MemphisU 81
MemphisU -20

Cornell 59
Missouri 78
Missouri -13

ETennSt 62
Pittsburgh 72
Pittsburgh -20

MississippiSt 58
WashingtonU 71
WashingtonU -5.5

MorganSt 54
Oklahoma 82
Oklahoma -16.5

PortlandSt 59
Xavier 77
Xavier -10.5

TennesseeChat 47
Connecticut 103
Connecticut -20.5

Personally I was stunned that Memphis nor Pitt could cover. If I did check on East Tennessee State's prior history in the tourney though; I mighta stayed away from that one but how Memphis didn't obliterate Cal-State Northridge is beyond me.

7) Parlay (8 Teams)
bet 5.00 to win 750.00 Result: Wager Lost
1American 1stHalf 41
1Villanova 1stHalf 31
Over 60

1Arizona 1stHalf 34
1UtahU 1stHalf 29
Over 62.5

1Binghamton 1stHalf 34
1Duke 1stHalf 45
Over 64.5

1Blazers(Portland) 1stHalf 36
1Cavaliers(Cleveland) 1stHalf 34
Under 93.5

1MinnesotaU 1stHalf 35
1Texas 1stHalf 39
1Texas -2.5

1MorganSt 1stHalf 21
1Oklahoma 1stHalf 40
1Oklahoma -9.5

1VaCommonwealth 1stHalf 25
1UCLA 1stHalf 35
Over 63.5

1Warriors(GoldenState) 1stHalf 51
1Lakers(LA) 1stHalf 52
Over 117.5

6-2. VCU was sloppy/slow in the first half. The Warriors-Lakers did surprise me tho.

8) Straight Wager
bet 19.00 to win 18.10 Result: Wager Lost
MoreheadSt 54
Louisville 74
Louisville -21.5 (-105)

Honestly I woulda put the bank on this bet. I'm absolutely stunned that L'Ville couldn't cover. They annihilated them 79-41 earlier in the year...not to mention they're a fuckin play-in team. DEAR GOD.

9) Parlay (6 Teams) 03/21/09 14:27 ET
bet 6.44 to win 257.60 Result: Wager Lost
LSU 70
NorthCarolina 84
Over 159

Purdue 76
WashingtonU 74
Over 140

TexasA&M 66
Connecticut 92
Connecticut -10

TexasA&M 66
Connecticut 92
Over 136

Texas 69
Duke 74
Over 139.5

WKentucky 81
Gonzaga 83
WKentucky +11.5

My most agonizing bet of them all because in my head I had a strange feeling the LSU-UNC game wasn't gonna go over...also I had other bets in mind that wound up being correct (ie- WKU-Gonzaga Over 145; Texas +7.5; MD-Memphis Over 131; Villanova -2.5; UCLA-Nova Over 145.5; Purdue +1.5...I wouldn't have done UNC or Maryland's spreads) This bet will haunt me for a while. LSU-UNC woulda went over but the first half wasn't that great.

10) Parlay (4 Teams) 03/21/09
bet 5.00 to win 62.92 Result: Wager Lost
1Texas 1stHalf 29
1Duke 1stHalf 36
1Texas +4 (-105)

1Texas 1stHalf 29
1Duke 1stHalf 36
Over 65

1WKentucjy 1stHalf 37
1Gonzaga 1stHalf 35
1WKentucjy +6

1WKentucjy 1stHalf 37
1Gonzaga 1stHalf 35
Over 67.5

Thing was also...my brain was goin "DUKE DUKE DUKE because DUKE always fucks you." Had I listened I woulda at least won somethin.

Total spent on these: $79.32
Money I missed out on barely: $4,074.29

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/21.

2009-03-21T07:49:00.001-07:00

Yesterday: 9-7. Overall: 21-10-1.

UCLA vs. Villanova (-2.5)
Maryland (+9) vs. Memphis
Texas A&M vs. UConn (-10)
Purdue (+1.5) vs. Washington
LSU vs. North Carolina (-11.5)
Michigan vs. Oklahoma (-6.5)
Western Kentucky (+11) vs. Gonzaga
Texas (+7.5) vs. Duke

And so on.

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/20.

2009-03-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday: 12-3-1.

Stephen F. Austin vs. Syracuse (-11.5)
Tennessee vs. Oklahoma State (+2)
North Dakota State (+9.5) vs. Kansas
Utah State (+5) vs. Marquette
Temple (+6) vs. Arizona State
East Tennessee State vs. Pittsburgh (-19.5)
Cornell vs. Missouri (-12.5)
Dayton (+9) vs. West Virginia
Morehead State vs. Louisville (-21)
Arizona (+1.5) vs. Utah
USC vs. Boston College (+2.5)
Portland State vs. Xavier (-10.5)
Siena (+2.5) vs. Ohio State
Cleveland State (+7.5) vs. Wake Forest
Robert Morris vs. Michigan State (-16.5)
Wisconsin vs. Florida State (-2.5)

March Madness Bettors Guide 3/19.

2009-03-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

Butler (+1.5) vs. LSU
Cal State Northridge vs. Memphis (-20)
Texas A&M (+3) vs. BYU
Northern Iowa vs. Purdue (-8.5)
Radford vs. UNC (-25)
Maryland (+1.5) vs. California
Chattanooga vs. UConn (-20.5)
Mississippi State vs. Washington (-6)
Michigan (+5) vs. Clemson
Minnesota vs. Texas (-4.5)
American (+16.5) vs. Villanova
Akron vs. Gonzaga (-13)
Binghamton vs. Duke (-21.5)
Morgan State vs. Oklahoma (-16.5)
Virginia Commonwealth (+8) vs. UCLA
Western Kentucky (+5) vs. Illinois

And so on.

Fuck the DMV.

2009-03-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

I got into a car accident on September 12th of last year right? So I got 2 tickets, one was for not having my registration in the car (which was quickly dismissed)...and another one for "following too closely". Apparently anytime you hit someone from behind you're gonna get that ticket regardless. So they set the court date for the hearing all the way on March 18th. Or today.

Here I go, take my kickboxing class then get settled for a bit before drivin up to Whitestone for this hearing...at the time of the accident my cop said he wasn't even gonna show up for it so I figured everything was cool. I get to the hearing room and they tell me: "Sorry sir you have to come back for another hearing."

Are you fuckin joking? If the cop doesn't show up, your case is supposed to automatically be dismissed (although apparently it's 3 strikes and your ticket is dismissed...yet if I don't show up even once then my license gets suspended in addition to having to pay the fines). So now I have to go back on August 26th at 830 in the fuckin morning. Not only that, but the DMV has a parking lot where you have to pay $4 for parking up to 3 hours. I was there for about 15 min. Yesterday I paid $3 for a vodka-cranberry. Go kill yourself please DMV. Not only don't I officially win because you greedy hacks see no cops show up and hereby reschedule everyone, but you still manage to take some money from me. In this system you can't win. I guess I'd be mad too if I couldn't get $140 out of everyone (not like you'll get it from me) DMadoffV.

And so on.

St. Patty's Day.

2009-03-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

I'm so fuckin tired. All I know is the following:

1) I love dollar van races down Merrick Blvd.
2) Some girl got hit by a car and her body was just lying down face-first on the ground. I really hope she didn't die.
3) 945am is far too early to be getting to the Parade.
4) Remind me never to buy a pint of Grey Goose ever again. $22? FUCK. Shoulda stuck to the Georgi for $4.75 back in the R-Block.
5) Way to go teenagers. Of course you're not gonna know your limits and some chick who couldn't be older than 16 I had to have the pleasure of seein her eyes roll back (for all the wrong reasons) as she had way too much to drink. Before noon. The kids had no idea what to do with her. Give her water??? You gotta be kidding me.
6) The parade itself was aight. It's a million times more civilized than the West Indian Day Parade I'll tell you that much. Then again, there's a huge difference between Eastern Parkway in the BK and 5th Avenue in the city ha. I wish I could get some of that band music on iTunes ha. Next year though it'd probably be better to just hit up the bars and whatnot. The guy-girl ratios are worse in a dude's favor also on St. Patty's Day as opposed to with Hoboken or the Seaport's respective strolls.
7) I had a good time overall chillin with 2 of my homegirls. 1 on 2s are usually a good thing, up until you get boxed out of a conversation. Not really that big of a deal but of course when that happens you wonder whether or not your company is really wanted.
8) Middle-aged drunk people are hysterical, always with some lame-ass joke to tell girls 20-25 years their junior.
9) Having a phone that can only receive calls (can't send nor receive txts either) for the time being is a fuckin nightmare. It's basically a beeper in that case but with voice.
10) I definitely don't have the early in me anymore...I was pretty much tired by like 330 (then again I hadn't ate all morning prior) and by 5pm I was out of it (ehh I was a tad drunk but it was much more being tired).

Buck 'em down.

And so on.

DK vs. Apple.

2009-03-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought I was done dealing with them...not so fast my friend.

Here I am, trying to collect unemployment benefits because my unfortunate ass can't find a job to save my life unless it's one of those Craigslist fucks that talk about "fast growth potential" aka 100% commission for soliciting products. I get my first week, then BAM I stop getting them. I'm curious to know why. Apple now wants to talk about since I got fired due to misconduct that I shouldn't be entitled to receive any of those weekly benefits (from them NOR Adidas for that matter). They state their case; then I have mine. Here's the thing though:

I got fired November 3rd. I understand it was due to this "violating of employer's policies". Apparently in New York, "knowingly violating employer's reasonable policy constitutes misconduct". BUT, I had gotten suspended without pay a good three weeks before this period while they needed to go to HR to review my case (which by the way was unnecessary for the fact that we all knew what was going to happen next and I still don't know why it took so long to come up with the decision). Not to mention that I got a phone call a few days prior to go and "sign some paperwork" aka get my "pink slip" which is really black and white. I got that call on a Tuesday or Wednesday (I cannot remember). Had I been able to go that day and get this paper, I would actually be eligible because I would have made 5x the weekly rate. The problem was that because I was interning Mondays-Wednesdays and I had work with adidas Thurs-Sunday that left me no time to pick up this paper until the aforementioned November 3rd. I told them I could come by and get it around 7 or 8 on that Tuesday or Wednesday but they told me I could not for some reason.

Hence why I felt like this decision that I was rendered today was unfair. I ain't goin down without a fight so I'm gonna have to appeal this decision. Just another reason why other than their products, Apple is pure a crock of shit. My poor former co-workers that have to deal with the RF bullshit everyday.

And so on.

The Weekend Warrior.

2009-03-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

It was quite the weekend I must admit. I'ma do the chronological timeline.

Friday:
6:05pm- Head over to the Kickboxing Dojo to wrap-up/warm-up.
6:30pm- Another hella intense Kickboxing workout.
8:05pm- Arrive home grateful that I have an off-day Saturday and probably not gonna go on Sunday either.
9:25pm- Drive my pops out to Brooklyn to go pick up his taxes. I don't know what it is but every time I go I wind up gettin quite a few text messages/phone calls AS I'M DRIVING.
11:11pm- Remember that there's a house party out in the city; albeit it's "circus-themed". What would I be? Homey the Clown? Fuck outta here. I don't think that I'm actually expected to show up but I'm gonna shock ze world. Honestly I was about to just come in my all-black Adidas jumpsuit...but just in case it bombed, I wanted to be dressed to go somewhere else.
12:30am- Make it out there. Stuy-Town is hella weird; it has the feel of a gated community (and in some ways it is) but it is an underrated place to live. Finding parkin wasn't terrible but since I parked closer to 1st avenue...the walk was about 3-4 more blocks. I tell ya; when I get there I personally know what to expect but my boy is just like "man oh man this should be entertaining".
12:43am- As I'm knockin on the door and ringing the bell to get in...BAM there goes my homegirl/former gf in a state of shock that I actually came. You know how it goes "Holy shit I so didn't expect you to come I'm so glad you came it's so nice to see you!!!" The thing is, I really don't mind seeing her and her friends once in awhile so it's not like I'm gonna be fake with my emotions you feel me? I get inside and for the most part the people who I know in there are trashed. I am 100% sober and will remain that way for the duration of the night.
1:17am- These costumes are outta control I tell ya. They take these costume themes seriously. Balloons up in the air, this is the recession version of Ringling Brothers and Baranum Bailey minus the cannonballs and animals (unless you count the fish they have). Beer Pong on a circular table??? Bor-ring. Knowing that my guest appearance needs to end ASAP, I head out to go meet up with one of my boy's good friends that he hadn't seen in a minute.
1:45am- Head over to some random bar. As we try to get in and consider payin the $5 cover we get the infamous "Sorry fellas right now we only lettin couples and ladies in...too many dudes sittin by the bar"
2:00am- Some chick is screamin at her friend about her drunkness blah blah blah one of those drunk bitch arguments.
2:02am- After a good amount of people left- the bouncer sez we can come in now but we no longer are interested in goin inside.
2:15am- "I want some fucking pizza"
Me: "Two doors down"
Her: (dismissive wave) "I see how it is over at the other place how they won't serve a Polish girl"
Me: "I wonder why..."
2:30am- Central Bar is pretty much dead at this point. I thought there mighta been a slight chance we were gonna meet up with the other ppl from that circus "fiesta" but I guess that never materialized for em.
2:40am- Snicker as we pass Pourhouse- the most overrated bar in the city and the official Fist-Pump bar of the East Village.
2:41am- Go inside a pretty deserted Nevadas. What a weak finish to a promising evening.

Saturday:
2pm- Time to go to the city for a Beer Pong tournament over at Porky's. This should be fun...$30 for a 3-8 open bar you're not gonna get much better than that.
3:20pm- Meet up with my boy who thinks the place is closed ha (I don't blame him though..it looked closed. By the way, during the day that entire club section looks hella weird when everything is closed. But it was actually open...just no one there.
3:35pm- The promoter of this tournament tells the 6 people that are there (ha) that since no one is here that the beer is free (pitchers also) and everyone will come away with something. For the fuck of it me and my boy play 2 rounds of pong with me winning both of them (1-0 and then 2-0).
4:30pm- Porky's closes until 10pm. This actually gets me hyped because I can hit up Hoboken even earlier than when I intended and it should still be poppin off. In Hoboken they celebrate St. Patrick's Day the weekend before apparently...and with it being about a 10 min train ride from Manhattan...fuck it ha.
4:55pm- Arrive in Hoboken. You know people are already all fucked up in the game. Keep in mind, the bars have been open in most cases since 11am; some even earlier than that. Every bar in Hoboken today is gonna have a cover- the poppin one that I had seen initially was right across from the PATH called Teke.
"What's the cover??"
"$25"
"Nah now it's $40"
"$40??"
Dear. God.
5:05pm- So many bars to choose from in so little time. Everywhere you go there's a long line anyhow so there are bound to be chicks wherever you go. Now it's just a matter of findin a place with a legit enough DJ and enough decent lookin chicks that are going inside.
One thing I'm noticing already about Hoboken is that chicks roll DEEP. So what I've been hearing all along about hella single ladies to choose from is in fact true. I'm lovin this so far but now I need to get somewhere because only having beer in my system is not gonna keep my buzz goin for much longer.
5:10pm- Walk past one of these bars and these 2 dudes walk over to us and go "Yo take these passes and get right to the front I swear these are gonna work." Well it doesn't help that I'm the only black guy within a 50 yard radius but you know what I'm gonna try this out anyway.
5:11pm- "Aww naw I know ye wasn't here before; get to the back of the leen (line)."
"How much to get in here anyway??"
"$30"
5:20pm- I bump into one of my boys right by the riverfront who had been in Hoboken since about 9am and was ready to call it a day. There was a choice of these 2 bars right across the street from each other and now realizing that $20 is likely gonna be the least I'll be spending to go inside somewhere it was a choice between this one bar and Green Rock. Green Rock it is.
6pm- This line has hardly moved what the fuck! I guess I can understand because no one is really leaving (and who'd blame them, it actually sounds like a legit time in there). Meanwhile my buzz is pretty much gone and I did make the error of judgement by not bringing anything else with me drinkwise (which is something I usually do). Fortunately these chicks that were ahead of me on line had some flavored vodka and we took shots from them.
6:30pm- I gotta take a piss for the ages but I'm getting ever so close to finally being inside...but I know that it would take forever and a day. I had to get out of the line to use the porter potties (fortunately they weren't rancid-smellin since I presume ppl only used em for takin pisses and nothin more. Was nobody gonna fuck with me gettin back to my place on line.
6:40pm- Some white dude gets out of the bar and goes "Later, niggassss". Since I'm on the line, everyone turns and looks at the dude like what the fuck. I say "What??" to him and he looks briefly at me before puttin his head down in shame. He was plastered and probably presumed no black ppl were goin inside so he thought he could get away with that. Not so much.
7:10pm- I am IN! It's not that bad in there, it's not packed really but that's done so people aren't mushed up on each other. Understandable (as I think I mentioned before). I had on my infamous "From Myspace to Myplace" shirt so of course everyone there needs to go look at my shirt. But yes even before that- some drunk as hell Asian chick is already dancin up on me. Very, very nice.
7:15pm- "Hahaha, omg your shirt is so awesome! What shots do you want??"
Me: "Jameson sounds good."
I'm thinking that me, my boy and this chick are gonna pay for our shots separately. Not to be; she bought em for us. Whoa.

Basically from this point forward it was the same old song and dance. There were more girls in the joint than fellas which is always a good thing but it can lead to girl swarms that make it hard to penetrate their defense.
- The Myspace to Myplace shirt is a hit as usual making ppl laugh and shit like that. I get into a convo with some chick about it and how she only uses Facebook and has GMail. I have them both so what ha. She takes like 5 pictures with me and says "Oh look the picture isn't coming out." Young chicka- your LCD screen is cracked so of course ur not gonna be able to see shit. Oh Jersey. They left shortly thereafter unfortunately.
- Some chick guarantees that I'll get some kind of play before the end of the night; if I haven't already. She thinks I'm lyin and have been in Hoboken all day but in reality I only got here at 5. I tell her she should be my guinea pig.
- I love thick/chubby white girls.
- It's very hard to get a read on Jersey chicks especially when they are wasted. One minute they'll be ALL OVER you (i.e- they'll grab you and dance up all over you; then the next minute they will walk away and act like they don't know you at all). It's a love-hate relationship for me personally let me tell ya. It's a good thing that I didn't buy any of em a drink last night.
- It can be hilarious takin advantage of people (unintentionally). This guy bought me a shot simply because I was helpin him for the time being preventing a cockblock from her friend (one of the thuck/chubby white girls- btw, when I left she did kiss me in the mouth. Yes, score?).
- On the train ride back to the city..this chick was takin the train by herself and started up convo with me and my boy. Ahh she was kinda thick and from PA. Yessss. Tellin me all the good things, until she says she has a boyfriend who she lives with. FUCKKKK. Well then again that shoulda been expected, a single lady takin the train by herself woulda been too good to be true. Then she talks about how she wants him to give her booty but he's the type that isn't willing to get at it, ya know that whole schpel. Dear God. That woulda been icing (no pun intended) on the cake.
- Overall I spent: $20 on cover; $3.50 round-trip on the PATH; $15 on 2 beers. Not that bad to be honest considering I got 3 free shots as well.

Hoboken's final grade: A-. I can't complain. As long as you're out there to have a good time and are at least tryin to approach the ladies you are bound to get some attention. Jersey girls although they're flaky they are a lot more approchable at least than NYC girls who come off cold. The cover was OD and the wait on line was absolutely ridiculous...in the end it was worth it. Would I do that on a weekly basis?? Of course not..but does a trip to Hoboken in the near-future need to happen? Most definitely. It'll be interesting to see when these covers are back to their regularly scheduled price. It lived up to its hype right as I expected it to be.

And so on.

Karaoke Night.

2009-03-06T13:00:00.000-08:00

Every Thursday night live @ Nevada Smiths this phenomenon occurs; usually starting at 11pm unless there's a big game on at the time (i.e National Championship game; playoff games, March Madness). Personally I go there and get plastered out of my mind and wake up the next day feelin like shit...but not this one- I was originally plannin on goin to kickboxing class in the morning (but I was tired as fuck so I'm just gonna go to the evening class tonight and probably not go twice on Fridays until further notice). But I wasn't in a drinkin mood anyway and drove in.

Myself and my boy practiced for our epic Beer Pong tourney on Saturday @ Porky's ($30 for entry and Open Bar 3-8pm; can't beat that even in Hoboken). He beat me 2-0 this time (similar to the score I beat him two weeks prior) but the game went by a lot quicker. I definitely like our chances, especially with me being an unorthodox shooter. Afterwards, went to Nevadas and got myself a pint of Magners' Hard Cider (pause). Pretty good shit I tell you. Somethin about singin Karaoke sober: you feel competent- you're not as hyper but you feel like you're alive, instead of being this wild child.

Apparently I like to rile up the crowd. After one of my boys sang "No Woman No Cry" (very good song choice), I decided to get up and say: "No Woman No Cry is right. Why? No Woman, No Stress having to pay for everything shit look at me. How much you spend is how much pussy you're gonna get. No Money No Pussy." That got the crowd to die laughing for some reason; the girls were just like "Dear God" (but they know deep down inside the recesses of their soul that young DK is 100% correct).

Then you learn a few lessons in life:

1) Being on the mic constantly as a "hype-man" makes people think you work there.
2) These 2 random white kids begged me to sing a Jay-Z song with them. "Change Clothes". Aka, they wanted me to sing it while they reverse oreo'd my ass by flankin inbetween me. Jesus.
3) I bought this girl a beer. Unfortunately it backfired on me because she wound up hookin up with some dude who she was with. Whoops. But should it have been expected? She was from Jersey, young, stupid and naive, and wasted. Then she wanted me to sing for her. Fuck that ha. Oh well, the beer was $3.
4) Her friend kept puttin up the ROC sign. Are you fuckin jokin? Dear God she was plastered- I felt like I was in Seaside Heights or some shit for a good half-hour with these young'uns rummaging around. Then she wanted me to do a duet with her. "Stronger" by Kanye West. "THE ROCCCCCC".
5) These three girls (very nice by the way, albeit 2 of em were initially shy) me and my boy get to talkin to em- and I get humored as hell because when you mention shit such as "kickboxing" and "designated driver" all of a sudden you're viewed as "omg that's so cool, that's really nice" Well yes, I'm not tryin to get pulled over like I seen these 3 dudes do as soon as I got out of the bar. Usually I would have been more agressive and went for the number, but apparently they will be back again. I actually take their word for it, since one of them is infatuated with one of the bartenders here.
6) How retarded can one person be? It's not even midnight, and yet you're gonna attempt to steal someone's purse (actually he did steal it)...but yet you're gonna stick around the bar. Wow, what a jackass. Undercover cops came in and arrested the dude who did it; you can't be that arrogant. I mean, it's one thing if perhaps a cell phone was on the floor, you turned it off had it in ur pocket and then whatever...but a full purse? Sheesh.

That's all folks. And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 3/6.

2009-03-06T12:54:00.000-08:00

I didn't post yesterday but I had New Orleans (-6.5) over Dallas (which was a Lead Pipe Lock) and Denver (-7.5) over Portland for a 2-0 day.

Past 2 days: 6-6. Overall: 85-90-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 4-5-1.

New Jersey Nets (+9.5) @ Orlando Magic
Miami Heat @ Toronto Raptors (+1)
Atlanta Hawks (+2.5) @ Charlotte Bobcats
Cleveland Cavaliers @ Boston Celtics (-1.5)
Golden State Warriors @ Detroit Pistons (-9)
Milwaukee Bucks (+6.5) @ Chicago Bulls
Phoenix Suns @ Houston Rockets (-5.5)
Washington Wizards @ San Antonio Spurs (-12.5)- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Minnesota Timberwolves (+15.5) @ Los Angeles Lakers
Denver Nuggets @ Utah Jazz (-9)

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 3/4.

2009-03-04T13:39:00.001-08:00

Yesterday: 4-4. Overall: 79-84-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 3-4-1.

Milwaukee Bucks @ Cleveland Cavaliers (-13)
Phoenix Suns @ Miami Heat (-2.5)
Boston Celtics (-7) @ New Jersey Nets- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Atlanta Hawks @ New York Knicks (pick 'em)
Washington Wizards @ Oklahoma City Thunder (-4.5)
Golden State Warriors (+7.5) @ Chicago Bulls
San Antonio Spurs (+3) @ Dallas Mavericks
Houston Rockets @ Utah Jazz (-8.5)
Indiana Pacers @ Portland Trailblazers (-10)
Memphis Grizzles @ Los Angeles Clippers (-2)

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 3/3.

2009-03-03T13:20:00.000-08:00

Saturday: 3-4. Overall: 75-80-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 2-4-1.

Phoenix Suns @ Orlando Magic (-7)
Chicago Bulls @ Charlotte Bobcats (-2)- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Denver Nuggets (+3) @ Detroit Pistons
New Jersey Nets @ Milwaukee Bucks (-4)
Golden State Warriors @ Minnesota Timberwolves (-1)
Toronto Raptors @ Houston Rockets (-9)
Indiana Pacers (-2.5) @ Sacramento Kings
Memphis Grizzles @ Los Angeles Lakers (-15)

And so on.

Kickboxin Debut.

2009-03-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

Man I tell ya, this weekend wasn't the best but it was far from the worst. Nothin entertaining really popped off, things just were how they were. I for one however DESPISE it with a passion when people try to force you to cancel plans which ultimately are for no reason. Don't get me wrong, I love my older sister (even though I don't express it much) but don't try to ruin my plans by tellin me that I have to get her...only for her friend out of the blue to call at like 1215 to tell me otherwise. You gotta be kiddin me. This wouldn't be a big deal except I wanted to drink Friday night. Thursday night was mediocre and Saturday night was one of those chill nights. Ya dig? I live a borin ass lifestyle these days.

With that said, I needed to kick start a new routine in my life. So I decided to hit up Valley Stream (which is the town over from the R-Block over the border to dreaded LI) and hit up the Extreme Muay Thai Gym. I've been dead set about joining a kickboxing school but all the ones that I've seen were in the city and likely hella expensive. I passed by this spot practically ALL THE TIME and didn't even realize it existed. Foolish me. Anyways, I get there a half-hour early as told by the instructor and he shows me some basic moves. I'm already bustin a small sweat; I mean damn I know I got extra insulation but still. When the actual class starts, of course you gotta stretch out a bit and then do hella pushups, situps and shit. It's embarassing not being able to do that many pushups lemme tell you. Tryin to push up and down 255 pounds 50x isn't easy, let alone tryin that 5x. FUCK! But I survived. Holdin your legs up in the air to do crunches and then keepin your legs lifted up for a full minute is a bitch and a half also. Afterwards, it was the cardio aspect of it and see...I did Taebo for a little while and I thought that was somethin...Billy Blanks wouldn't have shit on this. On top of this we had to run around the ring like 10x, including backwards. YIKES! The cool part though was the last 20 or so minutes- doing some sparring activities. I had to get used to it initially with the blocking and kicking...but I caught on relatively quickly. Man, when you do the last minute of straight back-to-back midlevel kicks...DEAR GOD that's a helluva workout in that alone. But I thought it was dope; my expectations were met and I'm gonna become a member. $150/month is solid for unlimited sessions. I guarantee you you'll see a new DK in about 3 months time. The one from the Summer of 2006 is comin back, that aura I had back then was lethal.

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/28.

2009-02-28T15:13:00.001-08:00

Yesterday: 3-10 (Nightmares). Overall: 72-76-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 1-4-1.

Orlando Magic @ Philadelphia 76ers (+1.5)
New York Knicks @ Miami Heat (-6)
Oklahoma City Thunder (+7.5) @ Memphis Grizzles- No Kevin Durant but don't worry about it.
Houston Rockets @ Chicago Bulls (-1)- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Washington Wizards @ Milwaukee Bucks (-6.5)
Sacramento Kings @ Utah Jazz (-17)- They'll be emotionally charged after the funeral earlier today of their owner.
Charlotte Bobcats @ Los Angeles Clippers (+1)

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/27.

2009-02-27T11:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 0-2 (absolutely awful day). Overall: 69-66-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 1-3-1.

Detroit Pistons @ Orlando Magic (-9.5)
Chicago Bulls @ Washington Wizards (+4.5)
Miami Heat (+5) @ Atlanta Hawks
Indiana Pacers @ Boston Celtics (-12)
Philadelphia 76ers @ New York Knicks (-2)
Milwaukee Bucks @ New Orleans Hornets (-9.5)
Portland Trailblazers (-5) @ Minnesota Timberwolves
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Dallas Mavericks (-9)
Los Angeles Lakers (-2.5) @ Denver Nuggets- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Toronto Raptors @ Phoenix Suns (-3.5)
Cleveland Cavaliers @ San Antonio Spurs (+1.5)
Los Angeles Clippers (+2) @ Sacramento Kings
Charlotte Bobcats @ Golden State Warriors (pick 'em)

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/26.

2009-02-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 6-5. Overall: 69-64-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 1-2-1.

Cleveland Cavaliers (-3.5) @ Houston Rockets- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Phoenix Suns (+11.5) @ Los Angeles Lakers

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/25.

2009-02-25T12:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 3-4-1. Overall: 66-63-2. Lead Pipe Locks: 1-1-1.

Memphis Grizzles @ Indiana Pacers (-7.5)
Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (+4)
Chicago Bulls @ New Jersey Nets (-2)
Orlando Magic (-2.5) @ New York Knicks
Detroit Pistons @ New Orleans Hornets (-8.5)
Utah Jazz @ Minnesota Timberwolves (+7.5)- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Milwaukee Bucks @ Dallas Mavericks (-7.5)
Portland Trailblazers @ San Antonio Spurs (-1.5)
Atlanta Hawks (+8) @ Denver Nuggets
Charlotte Bobcats (-3) @ Sacramento Kings
Boston Celtics (-9.5) @ Los Angeles Clippers

And so on.

To Delete or not to Delete?

2009-02-24T12:30:00.000-08:00

We all think to ourselves "what the hell is this number still doing on my phone?!" or "why am I still facebook friends with so and so??" or "why is this person on my buddy list when I never talk to them?" Lately I've been wondering the same thing.

Phone: It's always nice to have contacts. For myself personally I have family, friends, fraternity brothers and chicks whom I have met online or when I'm out on my phone. Some people on my phone I barely even call or text but for some reason I keep them on there just in case I somehow get a random call from them or I decide to uber-randomly call them. But when am I ever gonna do that?? Likely, I'm gonna wind up deleting the "temporary fix" numbers first...yeah even though you put some work into gettin that number, it was all for naught anyway so you just gotta take that L. I do have the numbers of all of my ex-es on my phone interestingly enough. Not that I use em, except for one every so often. If it were up to me I'd only have like 30 numbers on my phone but at the end of the day, the more the merrier.

Facebook: You accumulate "friends" on that bitch ever so gradually. Some of them are random as fuck and are added in a Myspace type way- to try and get you to check out their shit...some add you because they think you're cute but you never hear them say a word. Some you add because you met them the night before and it's easier to holla typing than through telecommunications. Some just add you because you went to HS, College or hell grade school with them. Out of my 998 Facebook friends, I probably see 25 of them frequently enough. But you'll never delete them. Why? Really there's no point in getting to it, you haven't spoken to them in hella long and/or they probably have NO clue who you are anymore...but anyone who says they use it "to catch up with old friends" is for the most part lying. To stalk up with old friends is more like it. Oh, and to also have pictures on there, tag people and go "yeah that's right bitches"

AIM: Ever since the dawn of Facebook IM- I barely use AIM anymore and why would I when the person I hit up on Facebook knows who it is without having to take 380324 jabs at a screenname I've had since 1999. If it were up to me, I would get rid of AIM altogether because I don't even use it as a communication tool anymore- also I'm sure the Blackberry has had a lot to do with it also. Every now and then I'll use it if someone hits me up but ehh that's about it.

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/24.

2009-02-24T09:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 1-5. Overall: 63-59-1. Lead Pipe Locks: 1-1.

Memphis Grizzles @ Cleveland Cavaliers (-15)- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Minnesota Timberwolves (+6.5) @ Toronto Raptors
Detroit Pistons @ Miami Heat (-4)
Orlando Magic (-2) @ Chicago Bulls
Los Angeles Lakers @ Oklahoma City Thunder (+8)
Portland Trailblazers (+4.5) @ Houston Rockets
Dallas Mavericks (+5) @ San Antonio Spurs
Charlotte Bobcats @ Phoenix Suns (-7)

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/23.

2009-02-23T12:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 4-4. Overall: 62-54-1. Lead Pipe Locks: 1-0.

Philadelphia 76ers (-2) @ New Jersey Nets
Indiana Pacers @ New York Knicks (-6.5)
Boston Celtics @ Denver Nuggets (+1.5)
Atlanta Hawks @ Utah Jazz (-7.5)
New Orleans Hornets (-8.5) @ Sacramento Kings- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Golden State Warriors (-4) @ Los Angeles Clippers

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/22.

2009-02-22T07:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 2-3. Overall: 58-50-1. Lead Pipe Locks begin today.

New York Knicks @ Toronto Raptors (-3) (I hope I'm wrong tho)
Boston Celtics @ Phoenix Suns (-2)
Denver Nuggets (-3.5) @ Milwaukee Bucks
Miami Heat @ Orlando Magic (-9)
Charlotte Bobcats @ Houston Rockets (-6.5)- Lead Pipe Lock of the Day
Los Angeles Clippers @ Portland Trailblazers (-14.5)
Los Angeles Lakers (-9.5) @ Minnesota Timberwolves
Detroit Pistons (+9) @ Cleveland Cavaliers

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/21.

2009-02-21T10:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 4-6. Overall: 56-48-1.

Philadelphia 76ers (+3.5) @ Miami Heat
San Antonio Spurs @ Washington Wizards (+7.5)
Sacramento Kings @ Dallas Mavericks (-13)
New Orleans Hornets @ Utah Jazz (-8)
Oklahoma City Thunder (+7.5) @ Golden State Warriors

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/20.

2009-02-20T15:52:00.000-08:00

I almost totally forgot about this tonight also. Yesterday I took the Spurs (-1) and Celtics (-2) to cover. Spurs did; Celtics did not.

Wednesday and Thursday combined: 4-9. Overall: 52-42-1.

Orlando Magic @ Charlotte Bobcats (+2)
Toronto Raptors @ New York Knicks (-3)
Dallas Mavericks (+3) @ Houston Rockets
Indiana Pacers (+2.5) @ Minnesota Timberwolves
Washington Wizards @ New Jersey Nets (-7)
Sacramento Kings @ Memphis Grizzles (-6.5)
Denver Nuggets (-2.5) @ Chicago Bulls
Oklahoma City Thunder (+7.5) @ Phoenix Suns
Atlanta Hawks @ Portland Trailblazers (-4.5)
New Orleans Hornets (+8.5) @ Los Angeles Lakers

And so on.

The Friday Morning Hangover.

2009-02-20T07:38:00.000-08:00

You would think my ass would be knocked out right now. Well, that's a negative. For some odd reason I'm up now, even though I went to bed sometime around 445 this morning. It's weird- when I have some kind of sickness I sleep less because I worry so much about gettin myself back to full strength. Yesterday was an entertaining evening as always...Thursdays > Saturdays > Fridays.

1) I hit up the Duke-St. John's game at the Garden last night expectin a bloodbath. However, the young Red Storm somehow stayed in the game...primarily because Duke was sleepwalkin through it. I understand, the Red Storm are 12-14 and certainly not in the same class...but if they were even 10% more efficent (on fast breaks they were mediocre to poor), you woulda had an upset in your hands. A few things that had nothin to do with the game:
- As everyone is entering through the gates to go inside...tell me why I'm the ONLY person to get stopped so I could be "randomly searched and screened"??? Was it because my Phat Farm jacket was menacing? Was it because I was the only black person in that 50 foot radius. One only knows. I turned to my boy however and just shake my head and say "Expected." What am I gonna do, go stab someone for better seats? Nah a St. John's game ain't that serious.
- It did NOT have a feel of a college game at all. I'd have to say a good portion of the crowd were Duke supporters (alumni, bandwagoners, etc.) and even in the "Student sections" there were some blue shirts scattered around. What a joke. The student section was arguably the weakest one I've ever seen live or on TV. The only time they got really into it was I guess with 3 or so minutes left?
- Who has a mixed drink at a game? I mean yeah, you're dressed all nice in your business suit but are you serious right now? You mind as well conduct some business while your at it. I figured these ppl are intelligent though- they sat in the same 300s section as I did but they wanted to have extra spending money to look all lavish. Oh the recession.

2) Me and my boy hit up this spot Wicked Willy's next. We're most likely gonna hit up a Beer Pong Tourney on March 7th @ Porky's ($30/person entry- open bar 3-8pm) so we decided since it's not a smart idea to hit up THE bar (Nevada Smiths) no earlier than 1130pm and there was time to kill...why the hell not? In a closer than expected contest I emerged victorious 2-0. They have their own Karaoke set which has its pluses and minuses.
- Pluses: More recent songs/more variety; Free Drink for every song you sing.
- Minuses: Less involved crowd; The Karaoke guy actually takes breaks. You gotta be kidding me.
I decided to sing A Millie by that Weezy fella. Lemme tell ya- to try and do that voice of his is a challenge on a throat dear God. CHOPPA HA HA HA HA HA! The shot girl didn't remember really who I was. So expected. Fuck.

3) Nevada Smiths was your average Thursday night of debauchery. I did two songs: Pimpin All Over the World and Jump Around. My wit was somewhat off on the mic probably because a) I was in a much better mood than last Thursday. b) I was startin to lose my voice. c) The crowd was young, naive and stupid. But I learned a lot from last night.

4) These friggin lessons:
a) No dude should try to attempt to small talk with another dude that they don't know unless it's concerning a chick or a sports game that is on at that present moment. And even that to me is odd. How you gonna see me sittin there chillin (I just got to Nevadas 5 min ago) and just lean over to me to ask me if I'm singin tonight? The fuck you care for?
b) I was chillin with my homegirl with my arm wrapped around her (yeah we're cool like that) and some random black dude is just starin a hole through me and her. I have no fuckin clue why but I'm not the type to just stare back because most of the time that's just askin for unnecessary trouble. I guess though it lit a fire in him because when these group of white girls came in- about 20 min later he was beginnin his Holla Spree. YES I CAN! I mean, I didn't know I had that motivating power in me. About an hour or so later for NO reason whatsoever he comes up to me, "Please, please- do ur thing lemme do mine i don't know you u don't know me lissen lissen these white chicks u kno its easy, please im tellin u man get at em seal the deal I ain't tryin to start shit ya dig" I never had been that confused in my life because I wasn't able to interject. My only rationale for why he did this was because he figured I was tryin to kill his Game? Dude it was about 6-7 of em versus basically you because 2 of your homeboys are questionable anyhow. Plus that whole aggressive black dude go for the kill does NOT work on most of these city chicks anyway. For God sakes.
c) Not from last night but was just an epiphany. Dudes don't do any of those :-) type faces towards each other. Please don't.

4) Exchange of the evening:
(Aggressive dude goin after the bitchy girl of the group...what a match)
Me: Friggin dude makin my people look bad dear God.
Chick: Haha, my friend makes MY people look bad being all bitchy.
Me: This is all the more stunning because you're from "Staaaten Oyyland" and actually act normal.
Chick: To be honest I don't even like hangin out with her.

5) Hackin up solid green phlegm is hella disgusting but I know when I do that only good things can come of it because that means you're about to be cured.

6) I don't think people on Facebook give 2 shits that you're lovin somebody as being your status. If anything that's givin them free advertisin and I bet that people of whichever opposite sex are gonna go see what he/she is about. Then they'll probably holla outta spite.

7) Can someone explain to me what would possess someone to text you TWENTY-FOUR HOURS after you initially texted them?

8) I have meant to discuss this for a while but I will do so and briefly. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce really makes no sense. You are tryin to tell me in the chorus that if I liked her I should put a ring on it??? I mean not everyone can be like Biggie and get married to a chick in 2-3 weeks. A chasity ring?? So if I like a chick at a club I need to have a ring handy? Well I'll tell you this, those cubed ice cubes they put in drinks if the hole melts well enough that will be ur only ring. You gotta be fuckin out your mind. Also, Lions and Tigers and Bears??? So you're not scared of those animals but you're scared of some other shit? Well I wouldn't expect you to be scared of those animals- unless you go to the Serengeti or some shit you're only gonna see em caged or holed-up in a zoo. But what made you think of Lions, Tigers and Bears? Dear God.

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/18.

2009-02-18T11:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 9-1. Overall: 48-33-1.

Denver Nuggets @ Philadelphia 76ers (+1)
Cleveland Cavaliers (-7.5) @ Toronto Raptors
Indiana Pacers (+5) @ Charlotte Bobcats
Minnesota Timberwolves @ Miami Heat (-9.5)
Orlando Magic (+1.5) @ New Orleans Hornets
Chicago Bulls @ Milwaukee Bucks (+1.5)
New Jersey Nets @ Dallas Mavericks (-8)
Memphis Grizzles @ Portland Trailblazers (-11.5)
Atlanta Hawks (-5.5) @ Sacramento Kings
Los Angeles Lakers @ Golden State Warriors (+5)
Phoenix Suns (-8) @ Los Angeles Clippers

And so on.

Movie Review- Taken.

2009-02-17T15:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was so bored that for the first time since God knows when, I actually decided to go with my dad and lil sister to the movies- which for me is the infamous Sunrise Multiplex Cinemas. I haven't been there since I seen the Constant Gardener in what? 2006? I was still drivin the Toyota 4Runner back then ha. The theatres were pretty empty for a 5pm showing on a long weekend- not that I gave 2 shits of course. They were showing trailers for a few movies prior...The International already came out last week ha and the I Love You, Man trailer freaked me out when they showed a scene with 2 dudes making out. My pops goes "What the fuck is wrong with movies now and days, now they want to have faggots in them??" That's neither here nor there though.

Taken is a pretty straightforward movie. Bryan Mills is a retired CIA employee who struggles to deal with the fact that he hasn't been in his daughter's (Kim's) life enough (hence him and his wife's divorce and her subsequent remarriage to a multi-millionaire). Kim pleads with him to go to Paris on vacation to see museums (which turns out to ultimately be a lie- her and her friend Amanda are actually going on a Euro-Trip) and the ever worst-case scenario man Mills goes along with it. Upon arrival to Paris; Kim and Amanda are waiting for a cab but a guy offers to ride back with them to their apartment "since cabs are really expensive around here". The guy in fact is simply setting them up to later be kidnapped (first Amanda and then Kim)- just like in the commercial. He will claim to find them, and then he will kill them. Over the course of the rest of the movie, he will end up in Paris on a mission to find his daughter.

The movie is relatively short (93 minutes) and for good reason. If you love action, then you'll enjoy this movie as there's a shitload of shooting and fighting scenes. You'll think Mills is a G after this movie. The plot has a lot to be desired- as it's not gonna be one that makes you think at all (for example I was thinking they would have a sub-plot concerning Mills and his problems with his ex-wife; if that would come into play). The movie moves fast as hell though- kinda like a hyper version of a James Bond movie minus the beautiful beau... so you don't really worry about the simplistic plot as much. The ending is predictable obviously. Overall, the movie is aight. Don't expect much from it but at the same time if you're lookin for a quick fix movie, go ahead and see it. Final Grade: B-

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/17.

2009-02-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday: 3-0. Overall: 39-32-1.

Philadelphia 76ers @ Indiana Pacers (-2.5)
Charlotte Bobcats (+8.5) @ Orlando Magic
Minnesota Timberwolves (+3.5) @ Washington Wizards
Milwaukee Bucks (+6.5) @ Detroit Pistons
San Antonio Spurs @ New York Knicks (+5)
New Orleans Hornets @ Oklahoma City Thunder (+2.5)
New Jersey Nets @ Houston Rockets (-6)
Los Angeles Clippers @ Phoenix Suns (-7.5)
Memphis Grizzles @ Utah Jazz (-11)
Atlanta Hawks @ Los Angeles Lakers (-8.5)

And so on.

February 14th.

2009-02-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

Well well well, I'm bloggin on Friday the 13th but I prefer to talk about tomorrow; which happens on the calendar to be the day I posted above. It's a Saturday this go-around, so this means another day to get shitfaced. Tru stories.

My plans? Simple, I'm gonna celebrate the fact that my Mets are gonna have their pitchers and catchers report to training camp; then watch the H-O-R-S-E competition and the NBA All-Star Saturday Night festivities which are always entertaining; followed by probably going to some apartment party. An average day indeed.

Then you got the Hallmark mothafuckas who try to bait you into believing that February 14th is something more special than that; like it's a day you're supposed to profess love or make you jealous of people who are in love or some other convoluted bullshit that they brainwash into your head like the Chinese do to 3 year old kids and turn them into athletic puppets. The pathetic part about all of this is just like with Christmas presents...people's expectations and all that. Like the more you spend the higher probability of you gettin pussy. Dear God. I have learned over the years that in order to get pussy you have to pay for it. It doesn't matter how; I buy her 2 drinks she's now an well-oiled machine, I buy diamonds her eyes get oogly so she gets romantic which leads to heat, I buy dinner which if you mix it with wine makes her feel like you're romantic- same fuckin concept. Let me tell you somethin:

You expect that on February 14th that it has more of a special meaning because? Ask yourself that question. Unless you happen to have began a relationship on this day it doesn't mean SHIT. Eradicate that from your fuckin memory bank. If you don't get what you want on the 14th so fuckin what? So if I go take you out to eat on the 15th or buy a box of chocolates at 50% off on the 15th that makes me less of a person and that I don't have love for you? Please. Every day that you're together with someone should be special, take it for what it's worth for Christ sakes. Ha I don't even really know what a long-term relationship is like so I always act like everything's peachy anyhow. When it's not; as I learned once when things become monotone. But anyways. How about showin some unpredictability; buy 1-800 Flowers on March 13th, go to that waterfront grill on April 8th. You idiots have turned February 14th into a day of forced activities and fuckin more prostitution. Every kiss begins with Kay get the fuck outta here. Every kiss begins when my wallet gets emptied, ya dig? It's just the way it is and hey I'm not gonna go and act like I'm gonna lock my money up in a CD account and expect shit to be free. Then it'll be too easy. But come the fuck on. You get a Build-A-Bear so you're satisfied, I get a card and a chocolate rose and some dinner- hence I'm satisfied. Good. But to me it's not as special when it's forced.

Example (I mentioned it before a WHILE back but it's pertinent to today): Idiot buys his girlfriend at the time a pink iPod nano. It was $199 at the time and he even got it engraved for her tellin her how much he loved her. How cute. Fuckin idiot. She comes in the store around May or June I don't remember and tells me she loves the iPod but needs to scratch off the message ha- because she broke up with that boring mothafucka. I scratch that shit off, she's happy about that and I shoulda picked her up but that's neither here nor there since I was workin. Now that's a waste of money if I EVER seen one from a relationship that didn't even last 6 months.

Here's my best February 14th story: I had decided that day to not go to class and go with my best girl friend at the time (Chelsea- I fuckin miss that girl) to BBQs to grab some happy hour daquiris in the rain. 2 of them 20 ounce shits will get ur ass fucked up so after drinkin those and chattin shootin the shit we went out in the rain to buy some random shit for her "friend" (in reality her girlfriend honestly I don't know why she tried to play it off but it was what it was). We would kiss a few times and she bought her and her "friend" dinner at Outback Steakhouse to go. It wasn't so much I love you more that it was fun company. Ya dig? And when you just go with the flow of things it makes life that much easier. I miss Chelsea ha. Like an idiot though I decided to workout drunk. NIGHTMARES the next morning. I was sick as a dog.

If you think I'm bitter, so be it. But don't try to advocate February 14th as more than what it is because you really don't get it. If you don't get it now, you never will. If you try to use this as a gague to test your love for someone you will lose. Every. Single (no pun intended). Time.

And so on.

NBA Bettors Guide 2/12.

2009-02-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday: 6-6. Overall: 36-32-1.

Miami Heat (+4) @ Chicago Bulls
Boston Celtics (-3.5) @ Dallas Mavericks
Portland Trailblazers @ Golden State Warriors (-3)

No more NBA regular season action til February 17th.

And so on.